Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Aggressive guys have broken my self esteem!

I've had a lot of aggression and have been bullied by guys on different occasions and it has really destroyed my self-esteem or any chance of trying to build it. I have had negativity from girls as well but I remember what guys have said more because I guess you want to impress the opposite sex. I would understand if I'd have done things wrong but I haven't and it's been unprovoked. For example my flatmate got drunk and then said that he thought my legs were too skinny but that he would get me laid. After that I didn't want to talk to him but I didn;t want to make it awkward for other people. However when I asked him about it he said that it wasn't his fault he was drunk. And then my other flatmate was like he's just really harsh like you should talk to him cos it wasn't his fault. And I feel like some girls have made it feel like it's my fault as well. It feels like I have been in situations as well where guys are nice to my friends but then ignore me. It makes me feel less than other girls. I feel it's left me shattered I feel really paranoid about guys and it's like every year I meet two or three aggressive guys. And I can't deal with any more I feel like there's something wrong with me. I've asked my friends and they always give me reassurances but I just can't take t anymore I have no more self-esteem to lose. I was wondering is this normal and do all girls go through this and does anyone have any advic. P.S sorry for any bad grammar or spelling mistakes I wrote this in a hurry!

Reply 1

Chicken.M.

shouldn't let what random drunk people say affect you. Their opinion doesn't matter

Reply 2

theartofblanks

First, may I commend you on not posting this anonymously. I believe almost all people would have. Takes some bravery!

Other people's perceptions of you are, logically, entirely subjective, and therefore only a problem if you take them to heart. I know you're not deliberately doing it, but it does harm you inside (self-esteem-wise). Almost everyone has insecurities, and some are even justifiable to an extent. I don't know your case intimately, but I can certainly relate to the feeling.

It isn't easy, I know, to have yourself as your own worst deep enemy. Is it 'normal'? It's certainly not uncommon. I've spoken to a lot of people with this issue, very similar stories actually.

If you listen carefully to what people are actually saying, you see the ridiculousness of their attestations.
For example: 'Your legs are too skinny *insert slurryness*'
What he's actually saying is that your legs are too skinny for him, and that he likes meatier (??) legs.
Now, should you really care about what he likes? I think not!

I know he's just the one example, and you must have had many more of such run-ins to feel the need to post here on glorious TSR, but the underlying principle is the same. They really don't frikken matter, and they know nothing about you!

Let it go, sis! I know it might seem like empty-word advice, but it really is the only advice you need for this.

I really hope this helps :woo:

If you wanna talk about literally anything, simply reach out, the TSR community might surprise ya!

When I'm feeling low, I watch Trevor Noah. Watch these 2, you can't regret it :h: