Found upsetting emails in boyfriends inbox. Should I end it?

Hi guys. I’m really upset about some emails I just saw my boyfriend of 1 year send to his ex. I went to log into my email on his iPad – he was still logged in his, and I saw a load of emails from her in the inbox.

I looked and she told him she’s really happy they’re still friends after all that happened between them. They were both really gushy in the emails... calling each other pet names and stuff... In one email he told her he missed her a lot and has regrets about how things turned out, and hopes he can be there with her in the afterlife always and see her smile of every instant of every moment.

I feel sick… He told me he didn’t love her anymore. I know that my boyfriend was the one who broke things off with her. They were together for about 3 years but he had actually started falling for me and realised he couldn’t stay with her when he had feelings for someone else. We got together quite quickly after.

I’ve given my heart and soul to this guy. :frown:

I haven’t confronted him yet.

Reply 1

Sinsonte

14

Original post by Anonymous

Hi guys. I’m really upset about some emails I just saw my boyfriend of 1 year send to his ex. I went to log into my email on his iPad – he was still logged in his, and I saw a load of emails from her in the inbox.

I looked and she told him she’s really happy they’re still friends after all that happened between them. They were both really gushy in the emails... calling each other pet names and stuff... In one email he told her he missed her a lot and has regrets about how things turned out, and hopes he can be there with her in the afterlife always and see her smile of every instant of every moment.

I feel sick… He told me he didn’t love her anymore. I know that my boyfriend was the one who broke things off with her. They were together for about 3 years but he had actually started falling for me and realised he couldn’t stay with her when he had feelings for someone else. We got together quite quickly after.

I’ve given my heart and soul to this guy. :frown:

I haven’t confronted him yet.

Don't just break this vichyssoise of love in which you are tangled. Talk with your boyfriend and ask him what he wants to do, don't cry, don't scream, be mature and if this gentleman decides that his heart still belongs to the past, then let him go. However, if you see that this was a long and big mistake than give him a chance, we are humans our natural tendency is to make errors.
If anything else, just ask.

Reply 2

Reue

20

If nothing else you should split up for not trusting eachother enough to not go through his emails.

Reply 3

username2908878

20

Email. Such a 2000s way of cheating.

I mean , at risk of sounding too harsh, he was already in a relationship when you got with him really , it's no surprise he can't be trusted.

Reply 4

Reality Check

22

Original post by Reue

If nothing else you should split up for not trusting eachother enough to not go through his emails.

But she just 'found' them open...

Reply 5

Reue

20

Original post by Reality Check

But she just 'found' them open...

She suggested that she's seen the content of more than 1 email.

Reply 6

user382

17

Mountains and molehills.

Reply 7

Reality Check

22

Original post by Reue

She suggested that she's seen the content of more than 1 email.

I was being facetious with my previous comment about her just 'happening' on them in his inbox...

Reply 8

Neopol

4

Hi there!

It sounds like a very upsetting thing to have to see. I can't imagine what it must be like.

I think the first thing to do is talk about it. Admit your mistake (reading his emails, even though you weren't intending to sift through them), and say that you want to know what he feels about a) his ex-partner and b) your relationship. The number one worst way to approach this is to start out angry and combative when, in fact, it may be nothing at all. Be calm and mature about it.

However, if worst-case scenario emerges and he still isn't over his ex, then your best off leaving him. You won't find much joy in someone who's living in the past.

Reply 9

Thomazo

19

Out of you two, he is the one with more reason to end it. You have so little trust in him that you need to go into his emails.

Reply 10

Katzen

17

> he told her he missed her a lot and has regrets about how things turned out, and hopes he can be there with her in the afterlife always and see her smile of every instant of every moment.

If these emails of my girlfriend then I'd just break up with her if the emails were recent. Who does he think he is?

Talk about it!? LOL **** THAT Time doesn't grow on trees, what is she suppose to say "oh I saw these emails of you being affectionate towards your ex and I don't like that" he knows damn well you wouldn't like it! What's there to say? All he's going to do is say "okie babe I am sorry...*cough* for getting caught *cough*."

Reply 11

Plantagenet Crown

20

Original post by Anonymous

and hopes he can be there with her in the afterlife always and see her smile of every instant of every moment.

What the..? What a strange and creepy thing to say to someone who you're not even in a relationship with.

Reply 12

ddrrzzeerr

17

I think you need to talk to him about why he is doing that. I wouldn't break up with him before hearing him out but he needs to apologise for sending them and agree to cut off contact.

Found upsetting emails in boyfriends inbox. Should I end it?

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