Partner out of work and contributes little to the household

Guys, she's only been out of work for a month and a half! He's acting as if it's been YEARS.

Mental illness is not a get out of jail free card for all situations. Treat people like crap, blame depression. Contribute nothing to the house, blame depression. Money isn't everything, but it becomes everything if you don't have enough of it.

The OP is depressed as well. If his girlfriend doesn't want to be helped, then there's nothing he can do. He doesn't deserve to be treated like a doormat.

I have had depression and social anxiety. It has made me treat people in less than stellar ways and I feel bad about that. My behaviour wasn't as consistent and intense as the OP's girlfriend though. Nobody should use another person as an emotional punching bag.

OP, talk honestly and openly to your girlfriend. If she won't listen, then it may be time to end the relationship and move in with your parents until you can sort out a new place. Life is too short to be used and abused.

in all seriousness, a month is not that long to be out of work. I think you should be straight with her and tell her she needs to get her head out of the sand. Having depression might mean you can't go to work or be sociable but it does NOT mean you can't do your washing. Maybe you are being too soft on her- as in, yes she is taking you for a ride but you are letting her do so.

You need to be forceful with women. Tell her to snap out of it and that you won't put up with her laziness. Tell her you empathise with her but she still needs to do her part in order for your relationship to continue.

Give her an ultimatum, she doesn't do the chores and she won't get laid she will change her mind about her (((depression)))

Yeah I mean she's clearly not being a supportive or equal partner here. I'm not in a position to contribute as much financially as my partner right now (as I moved for his career and only work part time mostly) but I try and counter that by making sure there's always food in when he gets home, making him a drink or sandwich, keeping the flat clean and washing done etc. It seems ridiculous to me that he would be out at work every day while I'm sat around the house and he comes home and still had to cook and clean. If I have a heavy week at work then he has to pull a bit more weight but while I'm at home I try and keep on top of stuff.

Likewise having money trouble is one thing but if you're having an issue which will affect your partner .e.g significant debts then you HAVE to share that. It really isn't fair that you are in the position you are with stuff so hard financially just because your partner lied to you (I'm assuming you could have paid the stuff she couldn't if you knew at the time).

The last thing is her attitude to her illness. It is hard struggling with depression, you're struggling, I've been there too. I know it can feel impossible to go to work but I'm sure it often feels impossible to you too but you get up and go because otherwise you'll both be homeless and starving. She didn't do that and has repeatedly dropped out of jobs making herself less and less employable. It takes action to recover from depression. You have to work at it and work will never get easier unless you force yourself through the *****y times. Everyone hates their job at times and many people struggle to find something they enjoy and have to get on with it. So I can really understand why you're frustrated with her. I'm sure she genuinely feels she's doing her best but either way it's causing you huge amounts of stress and pressure and making your illness worse...

I think it can't work with the two of you long term unless she dramatically changes her behaviour and outlook on life as a whole because you will just have the same problems over and over - it's just easier to ignore the money problems, spend what you want and quit when your job gets boring - if you don't give her a reason (i.e. you leaving) to change.

Sometimes it can.

I'm also at a loss as to how her being a women makes a difference? Telling someone with depression to "snap out of it" isn't going to do anyone any favours either.

Well women need to be put in their place sometimes, otherwise they will see themselves having too much strength/power in the relationship and they will abuse it and manipulate the relationship and screw over the man.

What century are you living in? A relationship should be about equality, any man who thinks they should have power or strength over a woman doesn't deserve to be in a loving relationship

I'm in this position too. My partner works full time on a salary whereas I'm only part time on minimum wage - I can't contribute as much financially (although I do pay for all food shopping/days out etc) so I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing on my days off. The thought of contributing nothing to the household whilst he works so hard makes me feel horrible.