“Its not what you say, its how you say it”

It is either the tone of voice you are using or the wording of the sentence

But i say it in my normal tone of voice and it’s definitely not the wording. So what else could it be??? She cant explain it herself which is so annoying

You may have a sarcastic or aggressive tone. Often someone will say something to me that’s rude, and like your sister, I can’t explain why it’s rude but it just is. It’s easier to get away with saying something to someone in a condescending tone than directly insulting them, not saying that that’s your intention, but be aware of what message you’re trying to convey when you speak.

People read into things differently, what you might consider to be your normal tone of voice others can perceive it as abrupt etc

Cos that's what gets results

Okay but she even herself admits i dont sound aggressive or sarcastic or anything

Well she said my voice doesnt sound angry or anything. And if what im saying is rude then why is she assuming im being rude even if my face isnt angry or my voice. I could even be smiling and saying it and im still being rude

and it’s definitely not the wording.

Has anyone outside of your family pointed it out?

Are you sure?

Yeah!

Okayyy! Just cos I could see how the wording of what you said could be seen as rude if that's how you said it