Do I have feelings for my friend? Confused pls help

Hi so I'm a guy and I have this friend who's also a guy. We're in sixth form currently and we're friends but not that close. We're (incidentally) going to the same uni next year so I don't want to make things awkward but here's the thing.
About two months ago he told me that he likes me romantically. I'm not gay or anything (although I'm not so sure about that now?) so I just told him I wasn't interested but that I wanted to remain friends. He was alright with that and everything pretty much went back to normal.
Except for the fact that the way I feel about him has been changing. First I just noticed that he was kinda cute and I found myself wanting to spend more time with him, but recently I've been thinking of him more and more, he's really beautiful, and also incredibly nice. We have lots of things in common and I just always feel comfortable around him. I feel incredibly embarrassed but the other day I got myself off thinking about him.
I've never felt this way about a guy before and I also don't think I really like him, probably it's just the fact that I know he likes (or liked idk) me that makes me feel this way right?

Reply 1

WhatIsLife1

18

Listen bud, only you know if you like someone or not. See how this plays out, if those sorts of feelings persist or increase, then you may well have feelings. But if they die out, then you know you don’t/didn’t. Whatever happens good luck!

Reply 2

Lydia_G

5

I don't think anyone can tell you what you are feeling - only you know. If you like him, you like him and there is nothing wrong with that! It's up to you what you want to do about it: considering he was open to you about how he felt and things went back to normal, maybe you could tell him how you feel and see what he says? It seems like you two respect each other and so maybe just talking to him about it may help you to work out what you are feeling. Of course, you may not want to do that and may be scared to but remember, he built the courage to talk to you knowing you weren't interested in men. But because things have changed for you, he is your friend and will probably be open to hear what you have to say just like you were there to listen to him :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lydia_G

I don't think anyone can tell you what you are feeling - only you know. If you like him, you like him and there is nothing wrong with that! It's up to you what you want to do about it: considering he was open to you about how he felt and things went back to normal, maybe you could tell him how you feel and see what he says? It seems like you two respect each other and so maybe just talking to him about it may help you to work out what you are feeling. Of course, you may not want to do that and may be scared to but remember, he built the courage to talk to you knowing you weren't interested in men. But because things have changed for you, he is your friend and will probably be open to hear what you have to say just like you were there to listen to him :smile:

Thank you so much!
I think I should talk to him indeed because he's done the same thing but I'm very scared to do so. We're actually meeting up tomorrow because he's helping me revise for English lit so I can talk to him then but I've no idea what to say!! "Hi, I'm not sure whether I like you but maybe I do"?
I think that maybe I should kiss him or something to see whether I enjoy that but that's kind of like he's my lab rat? He's very sensitive and he opened up to me about his feelings so I really don't want to use him like that. So basically I want to be sure about this before I'm really going to make a move on him because I don't want to hurt his feelings!

Reply 4

daizu

15

Bro don’t feel too pressured to put a label on yourself quite yet, but maybe talk it over with him. He’s obviously comfortable enough with his sexuality to admit his feelings, so he’ll understand your confusion and conflict rn (because he probably went through it too at some point). Just talk it out with him and say exactly what you’ve written and see if you can have a mature conversation about what to do from there. Good luck!

Reply 5

Lydia_G

5

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you so much!
I think I should talk to him indeed because he's done the same thing but I'm very scared to do so. We're actually meeting up tomorrow because he's helping me revise for English lit so I can talk to him then but I've no idea what to say!! "Hi, I'm not sure whether I like you but maybe I do"?
I think that maybe I should kiss him or something to see whether I enjoy that but that's kind of like he's my lab rat? He's very sensitive and he opened up to me about his feelings so I really don't want to use him like that. So basically I want to be sure about this before I'm really going to make a move on him because I don't want to hurt his feelings!

Of course you are going to be scared! Anyone would be! Take your time and when you feel it is the right time then talk to him, there's no rush on these things! I feel like you should talk to him first and maybe however the conversation may go, it may end up with kiss? But I don't you should just try it to see if you like it because like you said that may conflict his feelings if you did that, and say, you didn't like it? Just go with the flow and don't try to force or rush anything, but don't bottle anything up either! If you feel like making the move, then make it, just be weary of what he feels as well! :smile:

Do I have feelings for my friend? Confused pls help

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