Girlfriend doesn’t want our baby

My girlfriend is 20 and in her second year of university and I’m 23 ( I finished uni a year ago). Three weeks ago we discovered she was pregnant. I know that I am 100% pro life and I would never want her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to be a mum. It’s caused many rows between us. It’s her body, yes, but why are fathers always not included in the decision making when it comes to abortions? I want to be a dad to our baby and I feel as if she is taking away that right. If anybody could offer advice then that would be ace

Reply 1

anonymous69gcse

19

why didnt u use contraception

Reply 2

Personinsertname

19

Current laws give most of the power to the woman, and it should be her choice, the most drastic and sudden changes affect her before you.

Try to think about how having a baby will affect her degree at university or the ability to get a job.

If you want to be fully commited then first offer an engagement at the very least so she is financially stable.

You done ****ed up, should of used a condom.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

My girlfriend is 20 and in her second year of university and I’m 23 ( I finished uni a year ago). Three weeks ago we discovered she was pregnant. I know that I am 100% pro life and I would never want her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to be a mum. It’s caused many rows between us. It’s her body, yes, but why are fathers always not included in the decision making when it comes to abortions? I want to be a dad to our baby and I feel as if she is taking away that right. If anybody could offer advice then that would be ace

Well she is the one that will have to give up her learning, work and body for a child, not you. It's easy for the father, the woman is the one that has to go through all the pain, the changes.

Reply 4

Zarek

21

because its totally unrealistic to give someone control over someone else's body, in my view.

Reply 5

itsyahg

15

she is the one that has to deal with her parents, go through the pains of birth, carrying it for 9 months and she's in uni so obviously she doesn't think it's the right time for a baby. i would do the same as her if i was in her position, i know its also your choice but it's mainly her choice

Reply 6

PhilanderingBum

15

Original post by Anonymous

My girlfriend is 20 and in her second year of university and I’m 23 ( I finished uni a year ago). Three weeks ago we discovered she was pregnant. I know that I am 100% pro life and I would never want her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to be a mum. It’s caused many rows between us. It’s her body, yes, but why are fathers always not included in the decision making when it comes to abortions? I want to be a dad to our baby and I feel as if she is taking away that right. If anybody could offer advice then that would be ace

What advice are you expecting? She doesn't want to have a baby. You certainly can't make her and I doubt you would get far by pleading but you may as well try lol. Just don't manipulate or guilt trip her into ruining her life

I believe that a person's right to make a decision regarding abortion should be based on whether or not they are affected by it. I'm not talking about emotion or philosophy, I'm talking tangible, physical reality. If a woman is going to make a father financially responsible for the child, I think he should reserve the right to either abort the child or renounce responsibility. If the mother doesn't want the child, her right to abort it should supersede the man's objections as SHE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO CARRY THE DAMN THING. I'm not even a feminist, I despise the ideology, and the idea of killing babies doesn't sit right with me. I just believe in fairness and self-determination, not one person holding a gun to another's head and ruining their lives in the process over what amounts to a potential person. You want to be a father? get involved with someone who shares your beleifs like any sane person

Reply 7

Abcdefghijk123

20

I know it’s difficult, but you’re going to need to respect her choice. Supposing she did give birth, and was unhappy about all the sacrifices she had been pressured into making, she may grow to resent the child. It’s not fair to bring a child into this world unless you know you are ready to love and care for it. As a fellow 20 year old, I 100% see where she’s coming from. At this age, most of us are nowhere near ready to take on such a monumental, not to mention permanent, lifestyle change.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Fathers can have a say but ultimately it's her body, not yours. You can't force her to put herself through pregnancy and birth for a baby she doesn't want. This will probably break your relationship but at least you know were you stand and can go find someone who shares your values.

Reply 9

AndrewBlue

10

Advice? You want advice that will ease your mind of being force to accept the reality of an abortion?

Convert to islam and move to Iran. Take her with you 'on holiday'. Then you can slave her around like it's the stone age, in fact the other primates will support you!

Girlfriend doesn’t want our baby

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