Sexual assault
I’m unsure if I was raped or not by my current boyfriend.
We started of having sex, but I changed my mind and said to him “I don’t want to do it anymore”, I said that a few more times and he stopped in between each sentence but then carried on after a couple of seconds, he eventually stopped when I started crying and he said he was sorry and tried to comfort me. I don’t know what to do, we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months.
We started of having sex, but I changed my mind and said to him “I don’t want to do it anymore”, I said that a few more times and he stopped in between each sentence but then carried on after a couple of seconds, he eventually stopped when I started crying and he said he was sorry and tried to comfort me. I don’t know what to do, we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months.
(edited 5 years ago)
what happened
Original post by Anonymous
what happened
Just posted what happened
well he didnt force u. and he stopped when u told him to so i dont see that as r*pe
Yeah. It’s assault. Just break up with him. Even better report him if he continues to threaten you or he becomes agitated once you break up with him.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Sophia.g
I’m unsure if I was raped or not by my current boyfriend.
We started of having sex, but I changed my mind and said to him “I don’t want to do it anymore”, I said that a few more times and he stopped in between each sentence but then carried on after a couple of seconds, he eventually stopped when I started crying and he said he was sorry and tried to comfort me. I don’t know what to do, we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months.
We started of having sex, but I changed my mind and said to him “I don’t want to do it anymore”, I said that a few more times and he stopped in between each sentence but then carried on after a couple of seconds, he eventually stopped when I started crying and he said he was sorry and tried to comfort me. I don’t know what to do, we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months.
It would most likely fit the definition of rape, but that is for a jury to decide.
The crucial part of proving rape and the one the Jury normally has to deliberate on is whether they believe your bf believed he had a reasonable belief consent was given. His version of events is going to be different from yours.
How long ago did this happen and what would you like to do?
1. If you want someone to talk to then rape crisis can put you in contact with your local support centre. They can talk it through with you as to what to do, how you are feeling and whether you want to take any practical steps like involve the police.
http://rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php
They may offer you an Independent Sexual Violence Advisors or Advocates. (ISVA) to support you.
2. If it is more immediate then binbag the clothes you were wearing to preserve evidence.
3. If you have any bruising take photos.
4. Consider going to see your GP or your nearest Sexual assault referral centre (SARCs) which will offer medical, practical and emotional support. They have specially trained doctors, nurses and support workers to care for you.
https://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Rape-and-sexual-assault-referral-centres/LocationSearch/364
5. If you have a close friend you can trust then get them round to give you company.
6. In terms if the bf keep all texts of the incidence and anything which refers to what happened. In the long run you will need to dump him, but am not sure it is of benefit to you to do anything until you have taken advice and how you wish to go about things. Just cut off communication or minimise it, but dont meet him.
How old are you both?
Btw he obviously needs dumping at some point as no means no and he should have stopped immediately.
It became rape when you withdrew consent and told him NO- "I don't want to do it any more".
He heard what you said, stopped for a few seconds and then decided that he was going to to force himself on you against your wishes.
Imagine for a minute that it was me instead of you.
I'm a 23 year old female student studying in London, I don't know your current boyfriend's name and have never been to his home or invited him to mine.
If I met him in a club agreed to a one night stand with him on wednesday night, then after sex told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him again "don't want to do it anymore with you" and had two others guys lined up to be my one night stands on thursday and friday nights.
Would it be rape if he forced himself on me on saturday morning, after I had already told him no several days before and then only stopped raping me when I started crying- saying after he'd finished raping me that he was sorry and he wouldn't force himself on me again.
Would you call that rape?
He heard what you said, stopped for a few seconds and then decided that he was going to to force himself on you against your wishes.
Imagine for a minute that it was me instead of you.
I'm a 23 year old female student studying in London, I don't know your current boyfriend's name and have never been to his home or invited him to mine.
If I met him in a club agreed to a one night stand with him on wednesday night, then after sex told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him again "don't want to do it anymore with you" and had two others guys lined up to be my one night stands on thursday and friday nights.
Would it be rape if he forced himself on me on saturday morning, after I had already told him no several days before and then only stopped raping me when I started crying- saying after he'd finished raping me that he was sorry and he wouldn't force himself on me again.
Would you call that rape?
Original post by Sophia.g
I’m unsure if I was raped or not by my current boyfriend.
We started of having sex, but I changed my mind and said to him “I don’t want to do it anymore”, I said that a few more times and he stopped in between each sentence but then carried on after a couple of seconds, he eventually stopped when I started crying and he said he was sorry and tried to comfort me. I don’t know what to do, we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months.
We started of having sex, but I changed my mind and said to him “I don’t want to do it anymore”, I said that a few more times and he stopped in between each sentence but then carried on after a couple of seconds, he eventually stopped when I started crying and he said he was sorry and tried to comfort me. I don’t know what to do, we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months.
Original post by londonmyst
It became rape when you withdrew consent and told him NO- "I don't want to do it any more".
He heard what you said, stopped for a few seconds and then decided that he was going to to force himself on you against your wishes.
Imagine for a minute that it was me instead of you.
I'm a 23 year old female student studying in London, I don't know your current boyfriend's name and have never been to his home or invited him to mine.
If I met him in a club agreed to a one night stand with him on wednesday night, then after sex told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him again "don't want to do it anymore with you" and had two others guys lined up to be my one night stands on thursday and friday nights.
Would it be rape if he forced himself on me on saturday morning, after I had already told him no several days before and then only stopped raping me when I started crying- saying after he'd finished raping me that he was sorry and he wouldn't force himself on me again.
Would you call that rape?
He heard what you said, stopped for a few seconds and then decided that he was going to to force himself on you against your wishes.
Imagine for a minute that it was me instead of you.
I'm a 23 year old female student studying in London, I don't know your current boyfriend's name and have never been to his home or invited him to mine.
If I met him in a club agreed to a one night stand with him on wednesday night, then after sex told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him again "don't want to do it anymore with you" and had two others guys lined up to be my one night stands on thursday and friday nights.
Would it be rape if he forced himself on me on saturday morning, after I had already told him no several days before and then only stopped raping me when I started crying- saying after he'd finished raping me that he was sorry and he wouldn't force himself on me again.
Would you call that rape?
Yh I guess I would call it rape, thank you.
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