My boyfriends mum made a comment about my acne

I met my boyfriends mum, and during my stay she mentioned my acne saying I could be beautiful if I took medicine to get it cleared up. She doesn’t know that I’ve been taking medicine for 2 years to try and help it. She isn’t an unkind women. My boyfriend told me he doesn’t agree with her, but he just stood there while she said. He know my struggle with acne. He even told me she asked how he could kiss me because of it. Every time I think about what she said I feel horrible, like everyone thinks it and that I’m not worthy of her son. I can’t see her again until I figure out what to do because I feel so self conscious. I just don’t know if I can be with my boyfriend anymore, he doesn’t seem to understand how it has affected me. He made a joke that she helped because she gave me a solution for it. I just want advice, because I can’t seem to stop thinking about her comments or be hurt that my boyfriends wants me to just “get over it”

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

he shouldn't have told you what she said. what did he gain by doing that? he should be more thoughtful of your feelings. but everyone makes those mistakes. his mum did basically say you were beautiful.

Reply 2

unholysaint2022

21

I think it was very mean that your boyfriend's mom said that. It does not take your feelings into consideration. Your boyfriend shouldnt have told you what she said either.
Your boyfriend isn't helpful, bc he said you should 'get over it'. Idk how your relationship with your mom/dad is but maybe talking to them about it is a good idea. I personally would not talk to my parents about such things bc I dont share my feelings completely with them. Im not that sort of person. Maybe you arent either but if you are then that could help you.
Alternatively, you should have a serious discussion with your boyfriend about how you feel about what his mom said to you. If he says you should get over it again, tell him youre disappointed in him for not taking it seriously.

Reply 3

username3949650

8

I have acne and I don't think a lot of people realise how much it can affect you and your confidence, I am used to comments like that now but have little self esteem and often feel awful about the way I look. She is probably one of these people that have never suffered with bad skin, and think that suggestions like "oh have you tried washing your face? It helped me" will be useful when we've been trying to clear it for years and its actually quite insulting.

Whatever her reasons are it was rude and very unnecessary, maybe ask your boyfriend to talk to her about it and how much it upset you. But it sounds like both him and his mum just don't understand because they haven't been in your situation. I have strangers in shops sometimes come up to me and give me their advice on how they clear their "one pimple here and there", I just grit my teeth now and nod, but my acne is pretty bad I guess and they're only trying to help. I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think, and the way you look says nothing about your personality and who you are which means so much more. You'll get there one day and have amazing skin!

Reply 4

random_matt

20

See a dermatologist. And are you really surprised that he seems to stick by his mum?

try accutane.

Original post by Anonymous

I met my boyfriends mum, and during my stay she mentioned my acne saying I could be beautiful if I took medicine to get it cleared up. She doesn’t know that I’ve been taking medicine for 2 years to try and help it. She isn’t an unkind women. My boyfriend told me he doesn’t agree with her, but he just stood there while she said. He know my struggle with acne. He even told me she asked how he could kiss me because of it. Every time I think about what she said I feel horrible, like everyone thinks it and that I’m not worthy of her son. I can’t see her again until I figure out what to do because I feel so self conscious. I just don’t know if I can be with my boyfriend anymore, he doesn’t seem to understand how it has affected me. He made a joke that she helped because she gave me a solution for it. I just want advice, because I can’t seem to stop thinking about her comments or be hurt that my boyfriends wants me to just “get over it”

That's horrible thay she said that, she had no right to. I'm sure your beautiful, regardless of acne. x

Reply 7

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

I had very bad skin up until recently, and it's amazing the number of people who feel like they can pass comment.

One of my friends once asked me had I never thought of trying to get rid of it. I felt like saying no, I quite like it, that's why I've decided to keep it. Of course I've tried to get rid of it! I'd tried one thing after another for more than a decade (well, with breaks due to uni when I couldn't see my GP).

They started by giving me a skincare routine, then suggested different soaps and skin scrubs, then moved onto cream, then antibiotic gel, then actual antibiotics, then antihistamines (because they figured at one point it was an allergy which was nonsense).

The only thing they didn't try was the contraceptive pill (because they're catholic so don't prescribe contraception in their surgery) but I since learned that you could get it online (via Lloyd's Pharmacy before anyone thinks they're dodgy eBay pills or something) so I did that. A few months in and my skin is just looking fantastic, and I hate my doctors for not telling me about it years ago.

Point is - you're not alone, and something will work in the end, even if it hasn't already.

Reply 8

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Original post by kozmicbloos

Agreeeeed. The worst is the assertion that you don't wash your face and somehow have poor hygiene. It's like do you really think I don't wash my face?!!! My skin is so sensitive, irate and easy to inflame, which means washing can actually make it appear redder and worse.

Acne is such a bloody curse because it's so hard to get rid of and people's words about mine have really damaged my esteem. I'm glad we can take some solidarity here.

I'm so happy for you that it worked out for you with the pill and it also gives me some hope.
I've just started the pill (Two weeks in) and am really hoping this is going to be the cure for me. I'm also planning to see a dermatologist soon to see about some Vitamin A treatment they apparently do, because I am now absoloutely desperate to get rid of this.

Yeah it's a pain. I can't wash my skin with anything other than a Clinique product, pretty much everything else bar water on its own makes me break out. Trust my skin to demand an expensive product..

Which pill are you on? I'm on Yasmin and it took about 12 weeks to see a real improvement, but it's getting better and better all the time now!

Reply 9

Tommy123Hull

15

I went on Thursday to the dermatologist.

They’ve put me on 25mg of isotretinoin daily to start with.

I’m 17, This is the 2nd time I’ve been on it and I hope my skin clears up but I always say that True Perfection has to be Imperfect.

Acne has absolutely ruined my self esteem and my mood in general. I know exactly how you feel.

And people who have acne know, we’re the best people because we fight through it all with all the nasty comments more than most people will ever do.

It’s more than just spots.

Reply 10

bones-mccoy

19

It sounds like although she's a nice woman, she said something which is highly insensitive and it baffles me that an adult think it's okay to comment on someone's appearance like that. She's not a small child that has no understanding of tact, she's a grown woman who should know better. What you look like is of no concern to her and your boyfriend is only making the situation worse by revealing what else she's said in private, a little bit of empathy would go a long way here.

(edited 5 years ago)

My boyfriends mum made a comment about my acne

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