How often do you guys talk to your bf/gf?
I've been with my bf for almost 2 years now. The first year was long distance so understandably we spent way more time texting/calling each other (at least an hour or so every night on the phone). Now we see each other every weekend as I'm at uni which is nice.
However, when we aren't together it's like he doesn't wanna talk to me. He spends all his free time gaming with his friends and when we didn't get to see each other for over a week during the Christmas hols we only spoke on the phone once for 20 mins or so. I hate being the one to ask if he's free all the time
and feel it definitely shouldn't be so one sided. He he's just somebody who enjoys his own time... But I don't want to be a part time gf. Surely he could fit in an hour every other day to call me or something?
I have spoken to him and told him it makes me feel upset as it seems like he doesn't care or miss me when I miss him a lot. He assures me it's not the case and he will try and balance his time better when we're apart. However, we've been apart for 2 days now and his replies have been slow and uninterested and no sign of a phone call yet.
What do you guys think? Am I asking too much or is he out of order? What should I do?
However, when we aren't together it's like he doesn't wanna talk to me. He spends all his free time gaming with his friends and when we didn't get to see each other for over a week during the Christmas hols we only spoke on the phone once for 20 mins or so. I hate being the one to ask if he's free all the time
and feel it definitely shouldn't be so one sided. He he's just somebody who enjoys his own time... But I don't want to be a part time gf. Surely he could fit in an hour every other day to call me or something?
I have spoken to him and told him it makes me feel upset as it seems like he doesn't care or miss me when I miss him a lot. He assures me it's not the case and he will try and balance his time better when we're apart. However, we've been apart for 2 days now and his replies have been slow and uninterested and no sign of a phone call yet.
What do you guys think? Am I asking too much or is he out of order? What should I do?
From a guys point of view yes this would bother me.
With all the girlfriends I have had we’ve exchanged texts several times everyday and called at least once per day. Usually at night.
But don’t listen to me... I’m the high maintenance kind of bf. I like lots of interaction lol
With all the girlfriends I have had we’ve exchanged texts several times everyday and called at least once per day. Usually at night.
But don’t listen to me... I’m the high maintenance kind of bf. I like lots of interaction lol
If my boyfriend did this I would be really upset too. Me and my boyfriend text all day when we don’t get to see each other.
Original post by WaffleApple
From a guys point of view yes this would bother me.
With all the girlfriends I have had we’ve exchanged texts several times everyday and called at least once per day. Usually at night.
But don’t listen to me... I’m the high maintenance kind of bf. I like lots of interaction lol
With all the girlfriends I have had we’ve exchanged texts several times everyday and called at least once per day. Usually at night.
But don’t listen to me... I’m the high maintenance kind of bf. I like lots of interaction lol
That's the thing, is it really high maintenance? I thought this as well to start with but it's not as if I'm not giving him any space, too much if anything!
There's scope for different, perfectly acceptable behaviour patterns on this.
For me personally, I'm very much in the same school as your boyfriend on this. When I'm physically apart from my girlfriend I have minimal phone, text and online contact with her. When we're together it's a case of being very much the loving boyfriend. It's all about when we're together we're together. When we're apart we each have the space to get on with our lives. I see this as very much a long term thing to avoid burning out in the long term.
However some people are very much in the school of wanting to keep in touch on an almost constant basis. That's fine too. There's no right and wrong on this.
So what we have is some incompatibility on this issue between the OP and the boyfriend. I don't think that this issue on it's own is enough to end the relationship. It all depends on whether this is just one of several things - one or more of them more important than this one - where these 2 people are incompatible. Whether this is just an isloated issue. Or whether this is the tip of the iceberg.
Even then, with the OP being at uni, it would still be a valid decision to dump this boyfriend and look for and get other romantic partners from the uni. Just to see what other boyfriends are like. To treat uni as a chance to learn as much as possible about relationships as well as the chosen academic subject.
For me personally, I'm very much in the same school as your boyfriend on this. When I'm physically apart from my girlfriend I have minimal phone, text and online contact with her. When we're together it's a case of being very much the loving boyfriend. It's all about when we're together we're together. When we're apart we each have the space to get on with our lives. I see this as very much a long term thing to avoid burning out in the long term.
However some people are very much in the school of wanting to keep in touch on an almost constant basis. That's fine too. There's no right and wrong on this.
So what we have is some incompatibility on this issue between the OP and the boyfriend. I don't think that this issue on it's own is enough to end the relationship. It all depends on whether this is just one of several things - one or more of them more important than this one - where these 2 people are incompatible. Whether this is just an isloated issue. Or whether this is the tip of the iceberg.
Even then, with the OP being at uni, it would still be a valid decision to dump this boyfriend and look for and get other romantic partners from the uni. Just to see what other boyfriends are like. To treat uni as a chance to learn as much as possible about relationships as well as the chosen academic subject.
Original post by Anonymous
That's the thing, is it really high maintenance? I thought this as well to start with but it's not as if I'm not giving him any space, too much if anything!
It’s not really high maintenance it’s just the way you and I are
We’re all different. Some people prefer lots of close contact while others prefer minimal.
Like you, I happen to like almost constant communication. Obviously not all day every day but at least sometime each day.
I guess your boyfriend just doesn’t prefer constant communication!
My recommendation is to sit down and talk this out with him. Don’t delay it or wait just do it. As I’ve found in the past when I’ve not talked it over with a partner it usually parts us. As the other party often doesn’t understand and can see it as clingy.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by WaffleApple
From a guys point of view yes this would bother me.
With all the girlfriends I have had we’ve exchanged texts several times everyday and called at least once per day. Usually at night.
But don’t listen to me... I’m the high maintenance kind of bf. I like lots of interaction lol
With all the girlfriends I have had we’ve exchanged texts several times everyday and called at least once per day. Usually at night.
But don’t listen to me... I’m the high maintenance kind of bf. I like lots of interaction lol
Same fam. I'm like a woman. I need attention and cuddles.
Although I don't complain if the other person can't be arsed to reply lol. I see it like emailing if it's text / facebook messages. You just reply when you have time.
And I have other friends I spam with messages if I want attention lmao.
(edited 5 years ago)
Me and my boyfriend were together for nine months when we broke up (long distance relationship) but now we’re kind of back together but we haven’t made it official. Anyway he’s very social so all his time goes to being with his friends and it’s kinda annoying me because today i waited all day to talk to him because he was tired as he came back from a festival this morning but we literally spoke for 2 minutes and now he’s saying good night 😭I feel like I’m being needy for asking him to spare time so we can talk but I don’t understand how we’re are supposed get back together when we never speak. You’d think that couples (especially those in long distance relationships) would talk to each other all the time
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