I think I might be lesbian

Hi everyone,

This might be long so I appreciate if you read, sorry lol. I’m 16 and have been confused sexuality wise for a while. When I was about 11 I used to google gifs of Katy Perry music videos and I remember one night realising my feelings might not be typical of a straight person and I had this realisation of “oh my god, I’m a lesbian”. I come from an accepting, liberal family but for some reason this shocked and upset me so I ignored it for a while.

After a bit, I started to wonder if I might be bisexual because when I daydreamed or imagined romantic situations it was always with a man. I used to watch youtuber coming out videos and wishing I knew, I was okay with being gay or straight, I just wanted to have clarity. For a while I even thought I was asexual.

The reasons I’m wondering now is I think I might be gay or bi because I’m sexually attracted to women and I could see myself ending up married to one, however on the other hand I don’t know if I’ve ever had a crush on a girl. I go to a girls school and don’t really know any boys yet I’ve never felt like I’ve had a proper crush on a girl. I feel nervous around boys in a way I don’t around girls.

I’ve had crushes on boys but mainly online and if it ever becomes possible for anything to happen I feel kind of sick. I did have a crush on a boy I know in real life, but idk if I actually wanted anything to happen or I just liked him as a person - it was different to how I feel with female friends though. I also think that most girls are pretty but it’s rare for me to find a guy attractive and when I do, they’re usually pretty/feminine.

Recently I’ve been questioning it a lot more, I don’t know if maybe the realisation when I was 11 made me repress romantic attraction to girls or if I’m actually just straight but somewhat attracted to girls. I’ve been questioning for a while always wondering if I’m bisexual and yesterday I thought seriously about whether I might be a lesbian and something about that felt right to me. When I think about it, there’s something about being with a man that doesn’t feel as right, I imagine it’s a common feeling but I don’t know how to explain it.

I know no one can answer this question apart from me and that when I’m a little older I’ll have more experiences and work it out, but I was wondering if anyone’s been in a similar situation and how it worked out for them.

Tl;dr: I’m sexually attracted to women but I don’t know if I’ve ever had a romantic spark with a woman. I think I might have repressed my attraction to women and convinced myself I like men even though I’m realising that’s maybe not what I want. Just curious if anyone here has felt similarly.

Reply 1

Merry Xmas

could you be bisexual

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Title should say I think I might be a lesbian, sorry

Original post by Merry Xmas

could you be bisexual

Hey, thanks for replying, I have wondered about that a lot but I’m wondering now whether I’ve just convinced myself I’m attracted to men when really I’m just gay, idk though

Reply 3

Merry Xmas

if only you were a guy. we just allow our bodies to decide our sexuality. erections are a wonderful and sometimes anoying thing

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Merry Xmas

if only you were a guy. we just allow our bodies to decide our sexuality. erections are a wonderful and sometimes anoying thing

Haha that’s true, I’ve seen guys get just as confused about their sexuality as well though

Reply 5

xoxAngel_Kxox

I know this might not help you very much, but you really don't have to label yourself. I have been with men and women, and have eventually settled down with a man. I have never given myself a label, and I just accept that I fancy who I fancy, and that's that. You don't need to label yourself. Just carry on meeting people and forming meaningful connections with them (not romantic, just in general) and see what develops from there.

People get too caught up on labels, and "am I this" or "am I that" and they actually often forget to live.