Oxford Parents Association

This is my username if you were scared about me being anonymous.

I understand that many of your trolls would be Oxbridge rejects, however I am not one. I was not interested in these 2, and I got my top choice (imperial) and am loving my degree.

The only reason I targeted this thread to share my thoughts is because I simply had not seen another one on here or any other platform. As you say it’s the most popular.

I just fear for some of the parents here who are rather obsessive with their children’s endeavours. They are living through their children’s lives. The time of waiting for results should not be anxious for any parent, just a time of anticipation where you should be proud of the effort your child has put in. The student has right to be anxious.

The students applying to university are not 8, they’re 17,18,19 and they don’t need to be spoon fed, just some guidance from someone with experience. They’re adults also and deserve some independence.

This is my username if you were scared about me being anonymous.

I understand that many of your trolls would be Oxbridge rejects, however I am not one. I was not interested in these 2, and I got my top choice (imperial) and am loving my degree.

The only reason I targeted this thread to share my thoughts is because I simply had not seen another one on here or any other platform. As you say it’s the most popular.

I just fear for some of the parents here who are rather obsessive with their children’s endeavours. They are living through their children’s lives. The time of waiting for results should not be anxious for any parent, just a time of anticipation where you should be proud of the effort your child has put in. The student has right to be anxious.

The students applying to university are not 8, they’re 17,18,19 and they don’t need to be spoon fed, just some guidance from someone with experience. They’re adults also and deserve some independence.

I am not a parent, but I am a tutor, and I find some of these claims bizarre at best and there's a lot of straw-man argument here. I agree there are some parents vicariously living through their children and other helicopter-style parents, but there's lots of posters on this thread that don't fit that bill.

But it seems extremely odd to me if a parent weren't anxious about their child's results - they'd have to be completely lacking in empathy and have no idea what their child's going through. And yes the students entering HE are 17-19, but that's not to say they don't need support from some people (it doesn't have to be parents), that they wouldn't welcome it and don't have huge amounts yet to learn about what it's like to enter and prosper in HE. That doesn't imply spoonfeeding them.

An Irony here is that the post KLBinSE was agreeing with and Scotney PRSOM-ed has been moderated out of existence, for reasons that are never fed back.

Hey @Elladan
So glad to see another math mom from USA. My son will be joining St Catz this fall. How about your son, hope they get to meet each other at some point. Btw, We just received his Visa issued and it was rather quick in regards to overall processing time even though we got that dreaded email saying his application's not straightforward. After his biometric done, he got his visa issued exactly in a week's time. Hopefully everything will be sorted out for you as well.

Thanks for sharing about the fb group as I haven't heard of this before, will surely look into that.

Hey @Elladan
So glad to see another math mom from USA. My son will be joining St Catz this fall. How about your son, hope they get to meet each other at some point. Btw, We just received his Visa issued and it was rather quick in regards to overall processing time even though we got that dreaded email saying his application's not straightforward. After his biometric done, he got his visa issued exactly in a week's time. Hopefully everything will be sorted out for you as well.

Thanks for sharing about the fb group as I haven't heard of this before, will surely look into that.

The maths building is amazing - look out for all the maths related aspects. Probably most famous is the Penrose paving.

Oh, @Muttley79, thanks a lot for those pictures! I showed them to the kiddo and they made him very happy! Background: we toured a few colleges here in the US and it was noticeable how often the maths departments were in some ugly, brutalist concrete building, tucked away somewhere on the outskirts of the campus. We often times laughed if that was a reflection of the status that math had at the given university (which all had great math programs).
I don't think my kid can be any more thrilled about starting in at Oxford, but if he could he would be now.

Oh, @Muttley79, thanks a lot for those pictures! I showed them to the kiddo and they made him very happy! Background: we toured a few colleges here in the US and it was noticeable how often the maths departments were in some ugly, brutalist concrete building, tucked away somewhere on the outskirts of the campus. We often times laughed if that was a reflection of the status that math had at the given university (which all had great math programs).
I don't think my kid can be any more thrilled about starting in at Oxford, but if he could he would be now.

This is my username if you were scared about me being anonymous.

I understand that many of your trolls would be Oxbridge rejects, however I am not one. I was not interested in these 2, and I got my top choice (imperial) and am loving my degree.

The only reason I targeted this thread to share my thoughts is because I simply had not seen another one on here or any other platform. As you say it’s the most popular.

I just fear for some of the parents here who are rather obsessive with their children’s endeavours. They are living through their children’s lives. The time of waiting for results should not be anxious for any parent, just a time of anticipation where you should be proud of the effort your child has put in. The student has right to be anxious.

The students applying to university are not 8, they’re 17,18,19 and they don’t need to be spoon fed, just some guidance from someone with experience. They’re adults also and deserve some independence.

I just fear for some of the parents here who are rather obsessive with their children’s endeavours. They are living through their children’s lives. The time of waiting for results should not be anxious for any parent, just a time of anticipation where you should be proud of the effort your child has put in. The student has right to be anxious.

The students applying to university are not 8, they’re 17,18,19 and they don’t need to be spoon fed, just some guidance from someone with experience. They’re adults also and deserve some independence.

What actually do you deem parents 'being obsessed with their children's endeavors'? The fact that somebody is anxious if their kids will be able to attend their top choice university based on the results coming in? You determine that equals they 'are living through their children's lives'?
So - if a parent keeps their fingers crossed that their grown up son will pass his masters exam - they are living his live? If a parent fervently hopes the tornado will not hit on their daughters wedding day - they are living her live? If a parent is anxious about their child's marriage falling apart - living their live?

What I am trying to say is - that's parenthood. You kind of want their dreams to come true and their worries not to. Of course some parents over do it, just as some under do it. That's for every family to figure out for themselves. But to categorically state 'this is how life should be and how people should behave!' Hm. Based on what rule, written where?

Of course you can have any opinion you want on what you read. But... you don't only voice your opinion, you immediately jump to conclusions - that ALL parents on this thread are so overbearing and that ALL parents have no place on this forum. You state your subjective opinions as if they were facts and you draw very harsh conclusions from them. (Denying peoples' rights to participate in this forum, i.e.)
I question your conclusions.

Hallelujah - great to hear you got the visa, we are stressing out here a bit. May I ask: were you notified per sms when it was issued?

My son is keen on connecting with yours, he was very excited to hear about another American in his course - I am sending you a private message.

Hallelujah - great to hear you got the visa, we are stressing out here a bit. May I ask: were you notified per sms when it was issued?

Hi @mathmomUSA,
Glad to hear your son’s Visa has arrived. It’s quite an eye opener hearing about all the things which you overseas people have to go through before heading to Oxford.
I’m a fellow St Catz parent, daughter is going into 3rd year and is really happy there. If you have any St Catz questions, ask away and I’ll try and help answer them. One of daughter’s friends is also reading maths.

This is my username if you were scared about me being anonymous.

I understand that many of your trolls would be Oxbridge rejects, however I am not one. I was not interested in these 2, and I got my top choice (imperial) and am loving my degree.

The only reason I targeted this thread to share my thoughts is because I simply had not seen another one on here or any other platform. As you say it’s the most popular.

I just fear for some of the parents here who are rather obsessive with their children’s endeavours. They are living through their children’s lives. The time of waiting for results should not be anxious for any parent, just a time of anticipation where you should be proud of the effort your child has put in. The student has right to be anxious.

The students applying to university are not 8, they’re 17,18,19 and they don’t need to be spoon fed, just some guidance from someone with experience. They’re adults also and deserve some independence.

No offence but this is nonsense. Parents are criticised if they are not actively involved in their children’s lives but also criticised if they are too involved.

Unfortunately Imperial is not close to the rigorous process that is present in Oxbridge admissions and the subsequent academic journey. I know this by talking to students who were Cambridge undergrads and postgrads at Imperial/UCL and they claimed that things were more intense at Cambridge.

It is best to live and let live. Having a thread for parents to engage with one another and share tips should not be mocked in that way. In a world where young people are experiencing increasingly more difficult lives, they need imho more support where possible whether they are 8, 17 or 22.

Good luck at Imperial.