How to deal with my 8yr old son's tantrums

My 8yr old son has anger issues has had tantrums since he was 2 which have got worse the last few yrs.his tantrums escalated when he moved up from preschool to school. He has no close friends unlike his older brother when he was the same age.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 1

Strelzo

20

Original post by Funkyfoxbrown

My 8yr old son has anger issues has had tantrums since he was w which have got worse the last few yrs.his tantrums escalated when he moved up from preschool to school. He has no close friends

You're saying he has anger issues, I would perhaps consult in anger management classes. Are there any specifics to his outbursts? Perhaps he may have ADHD, which you can always get support from if you speak to your doctor. That's a start, which can help to de-escalate his tantrums.

Reply 2

Hopefully1

12

I am sorry you are having to deal with your son's issues. I think you'll find most of the posters here are younger and can't offer advice on this topic.

My two cents would be that he needs to know that you are the adult and the one in control even though he is going to push back on that. There is comfort in knowing his parents are actually the ones in charge. You need to remain calm even when you really, really don't want to be calm. Be calm but be present and don't let him get his way while tantruming.

I would suggest you get professional counseling to find out productive ways for you to interact with him when he needs discipline. You don't want to get into a frustration yelling match when he breaks down and doesn't want to cooperate or falls apart screaming. I think you are going to need professional help and you probably do need to learn different strategies for that child.

He could probably use counseling too. Whatever he has done and learned as far as social interaction is not working for him. He needs to learn new coping skills and have a plan for how to start trying to interact with his classmates in a manner that could wind up in friendship.

Yes, professional help would be most beneficial for you.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

People are quick to jump to the ADHD diagnosis, I mean it may be the case but it also just may just be something else. Is he sad that he doesn’t have many friends? Does he typically have tantrums when he doesn’t get his own way? Have you given in to him in the past when he’s had tantrums so how he thinks he can “control” the situation with them?

Does he have any outlet, like karate, boxing or football etc?

I know some parents keep a sheet where if the child does chores and stuff they give them a sticker and after a certain amount they’ll get a treat. Could help enforce discipline and give him something to work for.
There’s a lot of pressure on young kids these days and it seems like they’re getting younger and younger for worrying about things that they should be yet!

If things don’t improve, take him to your GP and go from there. He may not have ADHD but perhaps they could give him some counselling on how to deal with his emotions

Reply 4

Funkyfoxbrown

OP

3

We're waiting for the doctors to receive a behaviour report from my son's school, then the doctors can assess my son for ODD oppositional defiance disorder. I've read several books on children's behaviour/anger issues & have tried many different methods of dealing with it. I believe he needs assessing as he's different to my other son & has been noncooperative & volatile since being a toddler. & has OCD my sister in law works with autistic children & was also a nursery manager/childcare worker for many yrs. She believes our son has symptoms of ODD. It's a long wait upto 3yrs getting children or adults assessed/helped for mental health issues in the UK. As I've several friends with autistic/aspergers or special needs.

Thanks for replying
& he's gone kickboxing since he was 5 with his older brother. We go to the park & hiking woth our dog as a family a lot etc.

Original post by Anonymous

People are quick to jump to the ADHD diagnosis, I mean it may be the case but it also just may just be something else. Is he sad that he doesn’t have many friends? Does he typically have tantrums when he doesn’t get his own way? Have you given in to him in the past when he’s had tantrums so how he thinks he can “control” the situation with them?

Does he have any outlet, like karate, boxing or football etc?

I know some parents keep a sheet where if the child does chores and stuff they give them a sticker and after a certain amount they’ll get a treat. Could help enforce discipline and give him something to work for.
There’s a lot of pressure on young kids these days and it seems like they’re getting younger and younger for worrying about things that they should be yet!

If things don’t improve, take him to your GP and go from there. He may not have ADHD but perhaps they could give him some counselling on how to deal with his emotions

How to deal with my 8yr old son's tantrums

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