My Ex Bf said he lost feelings - will he come back?

Hey guys so basically my ex bf broke up with me about a month ago. He said that he wasn’t feeling it anymore which in other words means that he lost feelings for me.
We only dated for 4 months but it was intense . I met his whole family and even his mum said he really liked me but doesn’t know what he is doing. I was his first relationship and he was my first relationship.
He broke up with me during exams and we were both really stressed since we both study engineering and had so many deadlines that month.
I definitely did a few things wrong as I talked about him too much to a lot of people and was overthinking everything and I know that he could sense that so in a way I kind of self sabotaged the relationship. It was my first one and I didn’t know what I was doing and I’m generally an anxious person but I understand now I should have been more relaxed.
I know that I should be moving on and I’m trying my best to and I have been in no contact for about a month but I just want to know if there is any chance that he might come back and realize that he does truly like me? This breakup has made me realize my feelings for him even though I had doubts before.
I’m just worried because we were only together for a few months but he said he already lost feelings so I don’t know how bad that is. I know breakups usually arise from a loss of attraction though.
I’m giving him space and I don’t plan on contacting him unless he contacts me. It would be easier to move if this didn’t happen during such a stressful time.
He did say to my friend that he was feeling depressed at times and would only leave him room to go to work during this month. I also know that he is listening to sad songs about breakups and he never listens to music like that.
I know I should just move on but do you think there is any hope?
I have never been through a breakup up before and I just don’t know what to think.

Reply 1

Hopefully1

Break ups are (most) always difficult. It sounds like perhaps the timing of your relationship wasn't good with so much outside stress over course work etc.
The truth is your boyfriend lost the feeling. It happens. You can spend your time replaying what happened in your head (that's normal) but you should also take the time to process what you said about the self sabotage part. That is very real and happens all the time in relationships - and will continue to happen for you unless you learn from this experience and don't repeat the same pattern the next time around with a new guy.

He probably is sad that it didn't work out and has been feeling depressed and listening to sad music. Maybe he leans towards anxiety and depression anyway and the add 'stress' of doing the right thing to keep a girlfriend happy plus his course work was too overwhelming for him and he needed to make a change.

One bit of advice I'd offer is that when the next relationship comes along.... and that will happen..... don't let it get so intense so quickly. I have found that the quicker you get involved in a relationship - being romantic or just a plutonic friend - the quicker it seems to fizzle out. Go slow, let the relationship gradually grow, take your time getting to know each other..... let it build. Very few people marry the first person they get into a relationship with - it does happen occasionally, but rarely. It will take time but you will get over this and grow from it and be a better partner for the next time. The relationship is done though and I don't believe he will be coming back around. You are wise not to contact him and just move forward and learn from this experience.

Best of Luck!