How Close are you?

How close are you to your best friend of the opposite sex? And what are the boundaries?

My bessie is always phoning me, carries my bags, pays for everything, hes just always there for me, yet he refuses to hug or flirt with me. Am I annoyed at that.... yesss lol

Reply 1

dh00001

16

do you want a relationship with him or something?

Reply 2

secretmessages

18

A best friend is a best friend for a reason. If you get into a relationship with this person then they're not going to be your best friend any more, especially after breaking up. Nothing wrong with hugging, but you shouldn't expect your best friend to flirt with you, else you may find yourself drifting apart in the end.

Reply 3

dani2511

2

I'm quite close to my best guy friend... but we don't flirt/hug? That would be reeeeeally awkward. He holds doors open for me, offers to pay etc (i don't let him though :p:

), but friends is as far as either of us want to go (alteast, that's what i hope? :s-smilie:

)

Reply 4

Spike4848

12

Very close. We flirt, we hug, we're physically very affectionate. It's perfectly possible to do these things if you know that it's just fun and not anything else.

Reply 5

princess_sue

14

Im close but not flirty close. that would be strange as he is my best mate. We hug goodbye when one is leaving for uni or for a while but don't hug everyday....no need.

Reply 6

cazamatazz

7

I'm pretty close to my best male friend. We met in a nightclub, dated very briefly, slept together, broke it off. After an initially bumpy start... mostly because I still find him absolutely irresistible... we're staying friends simply because we connect in a way that I don't, usually, with anyone. We hug because I make him. I'm pretty sure flirting is beyond our boundaries as they currently lie.

Unconventional friendships. Huzzah.

Reply 7

glassheart

10

Well he's gay, so whatever goes down hahahaa.
Nah we're pretty banter/y but obviously not flirty, we hug etc.

Reply 8

Schmokie Dragon

17

I'm in a relationship with my best male friend. We have always been very close, and I have considered him to be one of my two best friends (the other is a girl) since very soon after meeting him. We only recently hooked up, and it has not changed our friendship in a negative way.

Reply 9

No.666

12

Very, very close. We're kinda 'seeing' each other, but sometimes i wish we just stayed friends =[

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Sometimes I think, why are we not in a relationship, because we work so well together, and there is chemistry between us hence why we don't hug. But then I think this way I never have to lose him.

I suppose my feelings do get confused and I get jelous when he talks about other girls, but thats expected right?

Reply 11

jodie_lee

Mine's gay. We hug if one of us is upset or not seen each other for a while. Text regularly when not at school etc. He doesn't pay for me as he has even less money than me!

Reply 12

jodie_lee

This thread, in many ways, appears to be confirming the whole "you can't just be friends with a guy", as you all seem to be hooking up with them!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Oh oh and explain this: we can speak for hours on the phone one to one, and we have been out a few times, but never actually alone to a restaurant or something, and when he suggested we should go out he quickly added to bring someone else too. And the next time I mentioned going out he feigned a look of horror on his face so I had to add..and we'll being so n so, to reassure him. Why is he so uncomfortable with that?

Reply 14

MoonFace

Mine's not gay but mega mega camp so maybe that's why I know there would never be anything between us. We're really really close though, like kiss & hug all the time and know absolutely everything about one another

Reply 15

dani2511

2

Anonymous

Oh oh and explain this: we can speak for hours on the phone one to one, and we have been out a few times, but never actually alone to a restaurant or something, and when he suggested we should go out he quickly added to bring someone else too. And the next time I mentioned going out he feigned a look of horror on his face so I had to add..and we'll being so n so, to reassure him. Why is he so uncomfortable with that?

What about asking him if he wants to go to the cinema? See a major action flik or something, then go for a meal?

Reply 16

chloecouture

8

Too close, we've known eachother since we were about three but its been a bit weird the last few years probably because whenever i have a boyfriend he hates them and if he has a girlfriend i get jealous because he's spending more time with a girl that isn't me and normally his girlfriends hate me aswell. But we flirt loads with eachother and he always jokes saying he wants to marry me but nothing would ever happen because we'er just better off as friends, anything else would complicate things and i just have to get usedd to him being with other girls.

Reply 17

Tinkerbee

13

Anonymous

How close are you to your best friend of the opposite sex? And what are the boundaries?

My bessie is always phoning me, carries my bags, pays for everything, hes just always there for me, yet he refuses to hug or flirt with me. Am I annoyed at that.... yesss lol

All that, theres the odd bit of flirting and banter and the odd hug goodbye etc at times, peck on the cheek. I'm closer to him than any of my girl mates over here :smile:

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

I think very close, call each other petnames in text/msn, hug, take each other out for meals, end up a night of a few drinks with the words 'i love you', get very affectionate but not sexual when wasted. I used to pine for her so much, but over time i've realised i'm actually in an awesome situation potentially; have the warm love of a lovely person plus i can theoretically sleep with anyone i like!!

She still kids around with me like when joking about not carrying some drinks home for her she was like 'yeah, i know you won't go, you worship me!', but things are cool, especially after she found out i was having a casual r'ship with her coursemate, she was indeed happy and it relieved a lot of sexual tension on my behalf. Shes spending a few days with me over the summer hols, cannie wait!!

Reply 19

storminaDcup

well to be honest, my boyfriend IS my best friend. i mean yeah ihave 2 great girly best friends, but my boyfriend is my ultimate best friend, i feel comfortable about talking about ANYTHING with him, whereas with my best girl mates, there are some things i feel i cant. and obvz beecause he's my boyfriend there are no boundaries :smile:

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