older sibling help

me and my older brother are only a year apart. but were not close at all. when we were younger we used to be really close but that ended when he got to secondary school. After that he didnt talk to me at all, we dont have conversations like we used to. its been 6 years and were still not close. i'm gonna go to uni soon and i feel like im gonna regret not ever getting closer to my brother.
I feel like i dont even know him, i dont know what he likes or anything that goes on his life. and we live in the same house , so its just weird.
I see all my other friends being really close with their siblings and it makes me jealous cause i wish it was like that for me.
I really want that sort of banter relationship cause that's how I'm like with my friends.
so basically I need advice on how to become closer with him.

Reply 1

Georgeessel

7

Original post by Anonymous

me and my older brother are only a year apart. but were not close at all. when we were younger we used to be really close but that ended when he got to secondary school. After that he didnt talk to me at all, we dont have conversations like we used to. its been 6 years and were still not close. i'm gonna go to uni soon and i feel like im gonna regret not ever getting closer to my brother.
I feel like i dont even know him, i dont know what he likes or anything that goes on his life. and we live in the same house , so its just weird.
I see all my other friends being really close with their siblings and it makes me jealous cause i wish it was like that for me.
I really want that sort of banter relationship cause that's how I'm like with my friends.
so basically I need advice on how to become closer with him.

“ how was school” or “ how did ….. go” can go a long way. Do it like you would do with a stranger that you’re getting to know from scratch. Meybe break the ice by sending him a funny video. On his birthday make a thoughtful gift

Are you moving away for uni? If so then you'll likely find that your relationship will improve once you're not living under the same roof.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by 1582

Are you moving away for uni? If so then you'll likely find that your relationship will improve once you're not living under the same roof.

Hopefully next year. but he also may be moving abroad in the next two years, so i was hoping to get closer sooner rather then later. Cause i know distance can make you closer but hes moving to another continent, which is WAYY to far.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Georgeessel

“ how was school” or “ how did ….. go” can go a long way. Do it like you would do with a stranger that you’re getting to know from scratch. Meybe break the ice by sending him a funny video. On his birthday make a thoughtful gift

I try to say hello everyday, but i dont think its going anywhere. Its still awkard, we dont act like siblings, just like awkard roomates. I buy him gifts on his birthday,the only thing i know he likes is business so i got him some books about it. I'm gonna keep trying obviously, maybe something will change :/

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I feel the exact same way. Me and my sister are only 2 years apart and she’s younger than me but I want to get much closer to her. All my friends are so close with their siblings but my sister doesn’t say anything to me and whenever I ask she doesn’t want to tell me either.

Reply 6

Meheraj

19

Original post by Anonymous

me and my older brother are only a year apart. but were not close at all. when we were younger we used to be really close but that ended when he got to secondary school. After that he didnt talk to me at all, we dont have conversations like we used to. its been 6 years and were still not close. i'm gonna go to uni soon and i feel like im gonna regret not ever getting closer to my brother.
I feel like i dont even know him, i dont know what he likes or anything that goes on his life. and we live in the same house , so its just weird.
I see all my other friends being really close with their siblings and it makes me jealous cause i wish it was like that for me.
I really want that sort of banter relationship cause that's how I'm like with my friends.
so basically I need advice on how to become closer with him.

Hearing about the distant relationship between you and your brother is quite disappointing. How was it possible for you to stay away from your own brother for six years? Did he treat you the same way? Did you guys make an effort to communicate with one another, or did it just not work out? Didn't your parents try to sort things out? Being envious of others won't make your condition better. Rather than concentrating on others, think about how you can solve the issues you've had with your brother. If you think you made any blunders that are the reason for maintaining distance, you should apologize to him. He is, after all, your brother. Personally, I feel like saying sorry once or a thousand times isn't an enormous issue if it results in a brother and sister rekindling their relationship, improving their bond, and most importantly, making everyone happy. Say sorry if you've ever unintentionally hurt him, even if it was entirely his fault, and tell him you want to start being a nice sister to him again by letting the past go. Because ultimately, happiness is the only thing that matters in life.

Reply 7

Meheraj

19

Original post by Anonymous

I feel the exact same way. Me and my sister are only 2 years apart and she’s younger than me but I want to get much closer to her. All my friends are so close with their siblings but my sister doesn’t say anything to me and whenever I ask she doesn’t want to tell me either.

Since you're older, you should try no matter what happens. As the elder one of the two, I believe you've some responsibility towards her and think this is your responsibility to sort out things. Also, you can have a glance at my previous post if you prefer.

Reply 8

Georgeessel

7

Original post by Anonymous

I try to say hello everyday, but i dont think its going anywhere. Its still awkard, we dont act like siblings, just like awkard roomates. I buy him gifts on his birthday,the only thing i know he likes is business so i got him some books about it. I'm gonna keep trying obviously, maybe something will change :/

Maybe try doing things together like a sport or an activity? Sorry just suggesting what works with me and my siblings. We are not elbest friends but when we gather we just cook, eat, watch something on Netflix together or maybe go for a walk and so on. Good luck ☺️

older sibling help

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