Training my boyfriend to be better

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He has had one previous girlfriend, but their relationship wasn't overly serious. He hasn't done any of the things that I like before, so I'm having to spell everything out for him. I had to tell him that I like flowers and cute little surprises... now he gets me flowers but it's not as special as I had to almost force it out of him. He tries to surprise me but often messes it up and doesn't do a very good job.

I've actually shown him how it's done... I'm quite creative and good at things like surprises so I've managed to surprise him with cute things a few times. Now he feels bad when he doesn't get it right because it doesn't match up to the things I've done for him.

I feel like telling him everything I want takes the fun out of it... but he is just not spontaneous at all.
Am I right to feel this way or do I sound horribly ungrateful?

Reply 1

CTLeafez

22

Original post by Anonymous

He tries to surprise me but often messes it up and doesn't do a very good job.

Am I right to feel this way or do I sound horribly ungrateful?

If he’s making an effort and you aren’t appreciating that then... Yes you are being ungrateful.

Reply 2

anonomousplease

2

You feel how you feel. you clearly want your boy friend to be as cute as you are to him, like in tik toks, all girls want the cute boy friends on the internet but he is clearly trying his best and it mightn't be fun for you so show him videos of cute things gte your frineds or his frineds to help him out because he can't do anything special when he has no experience so help him fix that teach him and show him what you want and then once you have told him in a calm clear nice way then if he still doesn't gte it just keep trying your not sounding horribly ungreatful at all infact I'm sure all us girls would feel like that

Reply 3

It's****ingWOODY

20

Yeah nah, women like you are f***ing annoying, no offence. Men aren't psychic and I don't see why you have to play stupid games. Life is much simpler when you just tell people what you like and don't like. Isn't it more thoughtful that he does little things he knows you like, suggesting that he's starting to get really close to you and know you really well? What's so great about him just guessing what you might like??

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 4

username4933904

16

Original post by Anonymous

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He has had one previous girlfriend, but their relationship wasn't overly serious. He hasn't done any of the things that I like before, so I'm having to spell everything out for him. I had to tell him that I like flowers and cute little surprises... now he gets me flowers but it's not as special as I had to almost force it out of him. He tries to surprise me but often messes it up and doesn't do a very good job.

I've actually shown him how it's done... I'm quite creative and good at things like surprises so I've managed to surprise him with cute things a few times. Now he feels bad when he doesn't get it right because it doesn't match up to the things I've done for him.

I feel like telling him everything I want takes the fun out of it... but he is just not spontaneous at all.
Am I right to feel this way or do I sound horribly ungrateful?

I feel you are getting a lot of criticism ^^^

but I feel different girls want different things and that's fair enough and I say this as a guy; maybe the chemistry isn't there. Who knows, but if you aren't fully happy with the situation if you have tried and feel things won't change ...

find someone more able or more willing to put in the level / type of effort you want

Reply 5

CTLeafez

22

Original post by Anonymous

He tries to surprise me but often messes it up and doesn't do a very good job.

Am I right to feel this way or do I sound horribly ungrateful?

If he’s making an effort and you aren’t appreciating that then... Yes you are being ungrateful.

Reply 6

doodle_333

19

yep you're ungrateful

I would hate to be bought flowers and useless crap like that so your bf is right not to just assume he should

sounds like once you've told him what you like he's really tried and you just don't think it's enough... sometimes gifts miss the mark, some people just aren't as into gift giving as others... and people express themselves differently, some people buy gifts, some prefer physical affection, or verbal etc... there's no right way to be

Reply 7

nickpalatas

2

Original post by Anonymous

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. He has had one previous girlfriend, but their relationship wasn't overly serious. He hasn't done any of the things that I like before, so I'm having to spell everything out for him. I had to tell him that I like flowers and cute little surprises... now he gets me flowers but it's not as special as I had to almost force it out of him. He tries to surprise me but often messes it up and doesn't do a very good job.

I've actually shown him how it's done... I'm quite creative and good at things like surprises so I've managed to surprise him with cute things a few times. Now he feels bad when he doesn't get it right because it doesn't match up to the things I've done for him.

I feel like telling him everything I want takes the fun out of it... but he is just not spontaneous at all.
Am I right to feel this way or do I sound horribly ungrateful?

Just give him a quickie and it will all be better!

Training my boyfriend to be better

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