Boyfriend 36 2 weeks normal?

Okay I’m 26 and bf is 36. Tbh this is the best mentally relationship I’ve been in. The most relaxed and calm. And not toxic.

Anyways so we’ve been together almost 2 years. He lives an hour drive from me however his kids live near my house. So whenever he comes to see his kids he comes and picks me up and we go back to his for the weekend. I barely ever tell him are we meeting but then all week I kind of assume we are but sometimes we won’t I mean he sees his kids almost every week but then the week he don’t he wouldn’t see me. We just both wouldn’t say anything. Also I never know if he’s meeting me to take the weekends with my friends instead it just on the day couple hours before he will say he’s coming to get me. His kids never use to live here they moved for a couple years so the first year of dating him he would come pick me up regardless majority of weeks. There was a time where for like 5 months he would see me every week. Then it would be every 2 weeks then it would go back to weekly.

Is this normal that I’m still embarssed to ask to meet or something? I mean I don’t care that much because I have to get ready and it’s a lot of effort then I have to go to his which is far I mean he drives me but coming back home on Monday I get train as he works very early

Isit normal not to see your bf for 2 weeks. I feel like it’s not normal but then also I don’t care that much but I do lool. Ugh.

Can I get advice as I don’t want to tell my friends.

I think I don’t want to ask him incase he says no he’s busy or he wants the weekend to himself I mean he does work hard all week and I don’t work. I’m probably scared of rejection lool.

I mean it’s coming to summer now and I want to be outside more but I can’t plan with my friends because I don’t know the week he’s seeing me or if he isn’t.

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

Go ahead and make as many plans to do stuff with your friends and alone as you want. Let him know in advance what your week-end plans are (when your reasonably can without bombarding him with you diary). And then it's up to him whether he joins you or not.

This will change the relationship dynamic to a better one. To one where you are no longer at his beck and call all the time. One where he sees that you are making the most of your time and that your time is valuable to you. And that therefore he has to compete for your time.

Of course, when you do get together, aim to make that just as special or more special than it's ever been with him.

Your boyfriend does come as a package with his existing children. I get the impression that you are realistic about this. But it is worth reminding yourself from time to time that his children will always have a high priority (and quite rightly so).

On the one hand you don't want to beg him or nag him to see you. On the other you could suggest specific events, activities, themes. Such as going away to a hotel with a swimming pool for the week-end on a cheapo deal. Or walkng a section of South West Coast Path.

What's normal and what's unusual are not important in a relationship. It's what works best for the 2 of you that counts
In fact, what most couples do is pretty dumb. Hence the high divorce figures. There is an art to keeping long term relationships fresh and worth continuing. It's an art that many people never master.

At some point it makes sense to move in with your boyfriend. Do you think that's realistically on the cards? And do you think you'd get on really well if you did?