Should I give up learning to drive? ( 3 years!)
So I've been trying to pass my test for over 2 and a half years now. It's a long time I know, i have had 2 different instructors. the first instructor I was with for a year and had no signs of improvement an some weeks were better than others but ended with my instructor losing his temper with because I made more mistakes and kept stalling (probably sick of me by this point), the second instructor was for a few months i had no confidence at all on the road and decided to take a break from driving. I have started my lessons again and going back to it I am worse than ever its stressing me out and I have pressure from family and partner to get it done, I passed my theory over 2 years ago also so I now need to re do that as well uh .. I just feel like I cant get the hang of it like everyone else can, I dread the next lesson as soon as ones finished. I have thought about automation but everyone says no why do that?
Original post by Hint123
So I've been trying to pass my test for over 2 and a half years now. It's a long time I know, i have had 2 different instructors. the first instructor I was with for a year and had no signs of improvement an some weeks were better than others but ended with my instructor losing his temper with because I made more mistakes and kept stalling (probably sick of me by this point), the second instructor was for a few months i had no confidence at all on the road and decided to take a break from driving. I have started my lessons again and going back to it I am worse than ever its stressing me out and I have pressure from family and partner to get it done, I passed my theory over 2 years ago also so I now need to re do that as well uh .. I just feel like I cant get the hang of it like everyone else can, I dread the next lesson as soon as ones finished. I have thought about automation but everyone says no why do that?
1st of all, don't let anyone tell you what to do even if its family, and secondly you just need to change your perspective, you should try believing in yourself more and go to each lesson with a smile on your face and keep repeating to yourself that you can do it, no matter what! I don't think you should ever give up especially if it has been almost 3 years xx
Original post by UnknownGyal
1st of all, don't let anyone tell you what to do even if its family, and secondly you just need to change your perspective, you should try believing in yourself more and go to each lesson with a smile on your face and keep repeating to yourself that you can do it, no matter what! I don't think you should ever give up especially if it has been almost 3 years xx
Thank you I will try next week to be more positive, I just get so scared I have no idea why xx
Have you considered an intensive course ?
Original post by yaseen1000
Have you considered an intensive course ?
No just different instructors but what is a intensive course?
Hi. I know exactly how you feel. Like you, I have awful anxiety which has made learning to drive a lot harder. My parents too were annoyed at how much money was being spent on driving lessons, not to mention I would dread driving lessons from a few days before and hated them. This is going to be long but please read and I hope it helps.
I started learning how to drive when I was 17, excited and determined to pass before all my friends (I did start learning before all of them so naturally I assumed I would pass before all of them - how wrong was I?)
I had a real nasty piece of work of a driving instructor for 6-7 months. He completely ruined my confidence. I stopped learning how to drive for about a year because of it. Once I turned 19, I eventually got the confidence again to learn to drive and got a new instructor! Cut an already long story short, failed my driving test with him about four times. I quit again and restarted when I was 20, my new instructor was so inpatient with me
I was with him for about 6 months and I just couldn’t see a way of passing my test with him. He never praised me for the rare achievement I made while driving. At this point, I’m nearly 21, all of my friends have passed their driving test despite starting to learn after me with fewer lessons. Safe to say - I was depressed and upset I couldn’t drive still! My family were saying how I should just learn to drive an automatic, but I just felt like why should I? Everyone can drive a manual car, why can’t I? I know I can drive a manual car! (there is nothing wrong with an automatic license, just restrictive)
I started to learn to drive again after I turned 21 with a new instructor. He taught me everything from scratch and he was amazing! I eventually took my test and passed with two minors! So in total - it took me four years to pass my driving test and five/six driving tests in total (can’t remember the exact amount now but it doesn’t matter anymore)
I’ve been driving over two years now with no accidents and have driven all over the UK and parts of Europe. I actually enjoy driving now and I couldn’t imagine life without my car.
I know I’ve rambled A LOT here but I just wanted to tell you that there are people out there who were in your exact same position, feeling hopeless, seeing people passing before you, constantly failing your test, pressure from your parents but never give up! You will pass! I knew I would one day have a pink license, I just didn’t know when. Look for a new instructor, do private lessons with family, whatever! Maybe even take a break but please don’t ever give up! Having a driving license will open so many doors for you! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many times it has taken you to pass your driving test. Your license will be no different to someone who has passed their driving test first time with no minors after a few months of learning. Please just believe in yourself and tell yourself you can do it. Good luck!
I started learning how to drive when I was 17, excited and determined to pass before all my friends (I did start learning before all of them so naturally I assumed I would pass before all of them - how wrong was I?)
I had a real nasty piece of work of a driving instructor for 6-7 months. He completely ruined my confidence. I stopped learning how to drive for about a year because of it. Once I turned 19, I eventually got the confidence again to learn to drive and got a new instructor! Cut an already long story short, failed my driving test with him about four times. I quit again and restarted when I was 20, my new instructor was so inpatient with me
I was with him for about 6 months and I just couldn’t see a way of passing my test with him. He never praised me for the rare achievement I made while driving. At this point, I’m nearly 21, all of my friends have passed their driving test despite starting to learn after me with fewer lessons. Safe to say - I was depressed and upset I couldn’t drive still! My family were saying how I should just learn to drive an automatic, but I just felt like why should I? Everyone can drive a manual car, why can’t I? I know I can drive a manual car! (there is nothing wrong with an automatic license, just restrictive)I started to learn to drive again after I turned 21 with a new instructor. He taught me everything from scratch and he was amazing! I eventually took my test and passed with two minors! So in total - it took me four years to pass my driving test and five/six driving tests in total (can’t remember the exact amount now but it doesn’t matter anymore)
I’ve been driving over two years now with no accidents and have driven all over the UK and parts of Europe. I actually enjoy driving now and I couldn’t imagine life without my car.
I know I’ve rambled A LOT here but I just wanted to tell you that there are people out there who were in your exact same position, feeling hopeless, seeing people passing before you, constantly failing your test, pressure from your parents but never give up! You will pass! I knew I would one day have a pink license, I just didn’t know when. Look for a new instructor, do private lessons with family, whatever! Maybe even take a break but please don’t ever give up! Having a driving license will open so many doors for you! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many times it has taken you to pass your driving test. Your license will be no different to someone who has passed their driving test first time with no minors after a few months of learning. Please just believe in yourself and tell yourself you can do it. Good luck!
(edited 4 years ago)
I'm amazed how much I realate to this thank you! I blamed myself for the instructors losing their patience maybe I was that bad? Just lacking in confidence but. I think I might try another instructor if all fails again. I started driving at 17 too no idea it would take this long but I felt like he was always angry with me alot and broke my confidence for the 2nd instructor. I stopped at 21 and had a break for 2 year, I'm now 23 and have a one year old which has made me want this more just my first lesson last week with my new instructor she was getting frustrated with me having to repeat things for me, said I dont listen ect so I'm just struggling I have another one this week hoping I get the hang of this its driving me mad & tired of breaking down in the car when I get overwhelmed but thank you that's made me feel a bit better about going this week xx
Original post by Hint123
So I've been trying to pass my test for over 2 and a half years now. It's a long time I know, i have had 2 different instructors. the first instructor I was with for a year and had no signs of improvement an some weeks were better than others but ended with my instructor losing his temper with because I made more mistakes and kept stalling (probably sick of me by this point), the second instructor was for a few months i had no confidence at all on the road and decided to take a break from driving. I have started my lessons again and going back to it I am worse than ever its stressing me out and I have pressure from family and partner to get it done, I passed my theory over 2 years ago also so I now need to re do that as well uh .. I just feel like I cant get the hang of it like everyone else can, I dread the next lesson as soon as ones finished. I have thought about automation but everyone says no why do that?
Even if you fail 100 times, doesn’t matter you’ll get there eventually.
Original post by Hint123
No just different instructors but what is a intensive course?
Basically some companies try to get you passed in 1-2 weeks
Original post by Hint123
So I've been trying to pass my test for over 2 and a half years now. It's a long time I know, i have had 2 different instructors. the first instructor I was with for a year and had no signs of improvement an some weeks were better than others but ended with my instructor losing his temper with because I made more mistakes and kept stalling (probably sick of me by this point), the second instructor was for a few months i had no confidence at all on the road and decided to take a break from driving. I have started my lessons again and going back to it I am worse than ever its stressing me out and I have pressure from family and partner to get it done, I passed my theory over 2 years ago also so I now need to re do that as well uh .. I just feel like I cant get the hang of it like everyone else can, I dread the next lesson as soon as ones finished. I have thought about automation but everyone says no why do that?
Don't give up! I know someone who took their test 7 times - it's okay to fail so long as you keep trying despite it!
My mum can only drive automatic because she has little use of her left hand. In America pretty much the only cars that are made are automatic. It's okay if that's your choice, there's no shame in it.
Original post by Hint123
I'm amazed how much I realate to this thank you! I blamed myself for the instructors losing their patience maybe I was that bad? Just lacking in confidence but. I think I might try another instructor if all fails again. I started driving at 17 too no idea it would take this long but I felt like he was always angry with me alot and broke my confidence for the 2nd instructor. I stopped at 21 and had a break for 2 year, I'm now 23 and have a one year old which has made me want this more just my first lesson last week with my new instructor she was getting frustrated with me having to repeat things for me, said I dont listen ect so I'm just struggling I have another one this week hoping I get the hang of this its driving me mad & tired of breaking down in the car when I get overwhelmed but thank you that's made me feel a bit better about going this week xx
Please don’t ever blame yourself! Remember, you’re the student. You are meant to make mistakes. No one was born with a driving license despite how good they claim to be.
Oh I can remember how inpatient my various instructors were! I would dread every lesson from days before because I hated it! My first instructor would shout at me, telling me how don't I get it yet?! We are so many lessons in it now, there is no reason for you not to understand! He would compare me to some other of his students citing that they’ve done fewer lessons than I have but yet they’re further ahead than me! We were at a roundabout and I was in the wrong lane and turned right and he yanked the steering wheel and swore at me! That was the final straw and I stopped.
My second instructor was nice but I constantly failed with him! I can remember one of my driving tests, I just couldn’t hack it and I asked for the test to be terminated as I knew I had already failed. My driving instructor had to walk around 2 miles from the test centre to where I was. It was safe to say he wasn’t happy and I didn’t have anymore lessons with him.
My third instructor was highly rated in the town I live in, everyone said how good he was so I thought great! I’m finally going to get my license with him! He was nearly as bad as the first instructor! He would constantly underestimate me and didn’t help my anxiety. He used to pull that wtf face all the time and I just felt so awful. He actually said out of all of his students, I need the most work done because I’m not very good. It’s like he was angry at me for attempting to drive but I tried so hard. I stopped again.
My final instructor was amazing! So calm and didn’t care if I made mistakes or anything. He had faith in me and said I can do it which no other instructor instilled into me. I went for my driving test with him and just before I left to go to my car - he reminded me how good of a driver I am and saying I can do it. He was right and I passed!
My point of this story is - if your instructor is making you feel the way you’re feeling then please don’t stay with them. You’re the one paying them and if you aren’t happy with the service they’re providing then don’t stay with them. Find someone who makes you feel comfortable. Don’t let anyone put you down and you’re paying for it. Yes, they need to be critical of your driving to make sure you are safe on the roads and pass your test however that doesn’t give them the right to bring you down at every opportunity. I’m so glad everyone on this forum is supporting you. A lot of people said to me just to quit which I thought was so nasty! Don’t ever quit. Please don’t. Have faith in yourself. Believe in yourself. It won’t matter how long it has taken to pass your test or how many times you did your driving test once you’ve got your license and you take your child around. You WILL pass!
(edited 4 years ago)
Also, have you seen a GP? I went to mine about it telling him about my anxiety towards driving lessons and he prescribed beta blockers which didn’t really help me but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for you. I’ve heard lots of people raving about them.
You honestly sound just like me. I was on the verge of crying during driving lessons, looking at the time during the lesson thinking when will this be all over?! You will get the hang of it, there are no set rules when it comes to learning to drive. I hope your lesson this week will be better. Please let me know how you get on.
You honestly sound just like me. I was on the verge of crying during driving lessons, looking at the time during the lesson thinking when will this be all over?! You will get the hang of it, there are no set rules when it comes to learning to drive. I hope your lesson this week will be better. Please let me know how you get on.
Original post by Hint123
So I've been trying to pass my test for over 2 and a half years now. It's a long time I know, i have had 2 different instructors. the first instructor I was with for a year and had no signs of improvement an some weeks were better than others but ended with my instructor losing his temper with because I made more mistakes and kept stalling (probably sick of me by this point), the second instructor was for a few months i had no confidence at all on the road and decided to take a break from driving. I have started my lessons again and going back to it I am worse than ever its stressing me out and I have pressure from family and partner to get it done, I passed my theory over 2 years ago also so I now need to re do that as well uh .. I just feel like I cant get the hang of it like everyone else can, I dread the next lesson as soon as ones finished. I have thought about automation but everyone says no why do that?
Have you passed yet?
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