Why does he always wait for me to message him first? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#1
I've been speaking to this guy online for a while. We do not know each other in real life since he is in the US and I'm from the UK. Just for clarification I'm 22, and he is 27.

He use to make it look like their was a reason to talk to me before, so for example he was talking to this person we both found irritating and he would report back the convos just for giggles with me. I told him to keep me updated and so he did, every few days we would talk and the convo would usually start with that person in his DMs.

He eventually stopped talking to her cuz he got tired of her, and told me it's time to stop. So we kind of stopped speaking but a few weeks later he responds with "Well I haven't heard of ____ in a while" basically bringing her back to start a convo. We then started chatting more regularly again and when it was a few weeks again where we hadnt talked he told me "You know I really like our chats. Don't be a stranger" he basically told me he wanted my attention.

Now since then he hasn't made as much effort in starting convos. Its mainly me. There was one time he messaged me first to ask about leaving TSR because I was considering it at one point. And he messaged me quite concerned and I asked him why and he goes "Well you know, I would hate to lose a friend".

He use to make an effort but now I honestly feel like I'm the one doing eveything. It's been a while I've popped up (4 days) which is a lot now for me and him because we started talking so often. He liked my post recently and I know it wasnt because he actually liked it. it was just to remind me he exists.

what's he playing at? Like why cant he just say hi without always having a reason to talk? what do you think?
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 5 days ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been speaking to this guy online for a while. We do not know each other in real life since he is in the US and I'm from the UK. Just for clarification I'm 22, and he is 27.

He use to make it look like their was a reason to talk to me before, so for example he was talking to this person we both found irritating and he would report back the convos just for giggles with me. I told him to keep me updated and so he did, every few days we would talk and the convo would usually start with that person in his DMs.

He eventually stopped talking to her cuz he got tired of her, and told me it's time to stop. So we kind of stopped speaking but a few weeks later he responds with "Well I haven't heard of ____ in a while" basically bringing her back to start a convo. We then started chatting more regularly again and when it was a few weeks again where we hadnt talked he told me "You know I really like our chats. Don't be a stranger" he basically told me he wanted my attention.

Now since then he hasn't made as much effort in starting convos. Its mainly me. There was one time he messaged me first to ask about leaving TSR because I was considering it at one point. And he messaged me quite concerned and I asked him why and he goes "Well you know, I would hate to lose a friend".

He use to make an effort but now I honestly feel like I'm the one doing eveything. It's been a while I've popped up (4 days) which is a lot now for me and him because we started talking so often. He liked my post recently and I know it wasnt because he actually liked it. it was just to remind me he exists.

what's he playing at? Like why cant he just say hi without always having a reason to talk? what do you think?
Online/LDR or friendship is usually hard. I’d personally tell you to not think too much about it and try to take him down the rope, way down to the friend zone. This is because you’d get disappointed a lot. Online stuff doesn’t work if the two people involved don’t put in double effort. He probably just needed some company to laugh about someone or he liked you but he’s considering the distance. Best thing you can do is friendzone him.

IMO.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Online/LDR or friendship is usually hard. I’d personally tell you to not think too much about it and try to take him down the rope, way down to the friend zone. This is because you’d get disappointed a lot. Online stuff doesn’t work if the two people involved don’t put in double effort. He probably just needed some company to laugh about someone or he liked you but he’s considering the distance. Best thing you can do is friendzone him.

IMO.
thanks for your insight. I agree with eveything you're saying.

He did ask for my WhatsApp so we can talk properly and I refused. It creeped me out, to talk to someone who exists on a screen and then hear a voice talking back instead and realising it's a real person. As dumb as that sounds, yeah I just wasnt ready for it. We've had some deep convos as well.

He does leave clues that he wants to continue the convo for example I told him about a book that could have been useful to him and he mentioned that he would like to hear about it as I'm reading it, like keep him updated. Or he warned me about time difference being longer since he is in LA right now and the time differences increases to 3 hours more. But he mentioned I can still speak to him during normal times which again is leaving clues to keep talking. I just dont like that I have to always be the one starting everything now.

You're completely right about lowering my expectations though and how its bot likely to go right.
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