Really concerned about my friend regarding mental health.

Im not going to go too deep into this, But im in year 9 and at the start of year 6, i became good friends with a person called oliver (im going to call him Oliver instead of his real name to protect his identity as much as possible). Along with me, he also had a few other friends. at the time they were good friends and would always hangout after school, at weekends etc. Then in year 7, one of his friends had fallen out and the other was talking behind his back. (believe he did not find this out until year 8). He had also lost a friend as that friend was hanging out with someone who was bullying him apparently. Then later on in year 7 he was home-schooled buy his mum due to ongoing issues with school-phobia. Then in year 8, he re-joined the same school. He used to hang out with me and the boy who was talking about him behind his back at break in learning support. Then he had found out his friend was talking about him and thats when they weren't friends anymore; so at this point i was literally his only friend. As you could imagine, he was understandably upset. He then left school again for the 2nd time and was home-schooled again which he still is to this day. I go to a youth club with him and he has made a friend there. He also has "xbox friends", but these people are from america so can't meet up, Not that i would want him to anyway for his safety. He knows that these xbox friends are the same age or roughly as they speak through headset. But it has happened a few times now when he has become angry, upset or depressed when i see him.
I would ask him whats up and dosen't give me a straight answer.
you could instantly tell form his voice and general attitude that he isn't happy.
As being best friends with each other you can probably tell that this has really worried me.

He has been refereed to CAHMS, but said it didn't help.
Tonight he put all my stuff in the outhouse as i was staying the night and asking me to go home. i asked him whats up and then saw him watching "depressing songs for depressed people" on youtube. It has really upset me seeing this as he does not deserve to be put through this.

Can someone tell me how to get him to speak up the truth as i just want him to live a happy life.

Reply 1

0le

21

He is already receiving some level of support. If one of the services isn't working in CAHMS, you could suggest he could be recommended for a different service? I would suggest some form of talking therapy, either one to one or group talking. It might be worth discussing these issues with him mum in a subtle way, but I don't know how awkward that might make you feel.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by 0le

He is already receiving some level of support. If one of the services isn't working in CAHMS, you could suggest he could be recommended for a different service? I would suggest some form of talking therapy, either one to one or group talking. It might be worth discussing these issues with him mum in a subtle way, but I don't know how awkward that might make you feel.

thanks for the advice. I am going to sit down at somepoint over the weekend and ask him to speak up about things that make him unhappy etc

Reply 3

0le

21

Original post by Anonymous

thanks for the advice. I am going to sit down at somepoint over the weekend and ask him to speak up about things that make him unhappy etc

I mean, try and do it in a subtle way. Some people just don't want to talk about things, or better phrased, they are not ready to talk about things. It may help to "just be there" for him and also just focus on doing things you think he will enjoy, such as playing video games.

Reply 4

Sammylou40

20

You are a great friend. You should encourage him to talk. To you or any support services. All you can do is be there for him. Show him that he can trust you. Don’t give up on him. Is his mum aware of how bad he’s feeling? Try to encourage him to go places with you. To the cinema or bowling for example. Or just a nice walk ending with a coffee.
Please also look after yourself as supporting someone who has a mental health problem can be tough. All the best

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Sammylou40

You are a great friend. You should encourage him to talk. To you or any support services. All you can do is be there for him. Show him that he can trust you. Don’t give up on him. Is his mum aware of how bad he’s feeling? Try to encourage him to go places with you. To the cinema or bowling for example. Or just a nice walk ending with a coffee.
Please also look after yourself as supporting someone who has a mental health problem can be tough. All the best