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20 yr old no friends, no best friend, no boyfriend

Hi. I’m a 20-year-old who have no friends, best friend and a boyfriend I spend all my life alone every time I go to places I meet new people’s they say hi and leave me they don’t want to hang out with me or do anything I am really tired living in this world no point for me to live in the world if I have nobody I only talk to my family’s that it. I am really tired of seeing people’s posting their friends on social media going party, hang out and etc. This is why I don’t have social media because I have no friends why when I go to social events people’s just say hi and leave they don’t want to be friends with me there something wrong with me? I am struggling I use meet-up but is not that great. I am a university student at Kent but is just people’s I’m with that’s just don’t want to talk to me and the girls are quite mean... I rather die!

Reply 1

21ForEva

Hi there

I can relate so that’s why I’m responding to your post. I have “friends” but really they’re just fake or like using me when it suits them. I’ve been in this situation for about 4 years now. But I’m still going strong and below explains it.

Don’t feel bad about what’s the current situation. There’s hope - trust me, in the future you’ll find your tribe. Sometimes the good things in life we have to wait for - I know this sounds cliche but damn, it is so true. We need to learn to accept the things the way they are now but of course that doesn’t mean we don’t improve our life for the future. You have to block out the “why don’t I haves” and focus on what you do have and be grateful - having a family at least, is more than what most people have.

First things first, why do you need to look at what other people are doing on social media? You said you look at it but you’ve deleted it so I’m confused about that.
Of course that’s gonna make you feel bad about your lack of a social life. Ngl I did that as well a couple years ago but now I don’t care about that sh*t and focus on MY life and what I CAN do to make my life fun, even if it is doing stuff on my own.
Don’t get me wrong, yeah I do get bored of my own company at times but then I forget about it and deal with it cuz that’s all I have right now. Haha and besides, imagine when you finally do get that boyfriend or a group of nice amazing friends, you’ll probably have no time for some alone time with yourself.

Are your family nice, do you have good siblings? If so then you’re lucky and should just be in their company whilst you can - yeah it might be annoying being them all the time cuz they’re the only peeps you have but it’s exactly that, they are the only people you got so make use of them and have fun with them... until you find your tribe :smile:

And no way - there is nothing wrong with you. When those people ignore you or distance themselves from you, it says more about them than you. If you’re a genuinely nice and exciting person who’s got loads of offer and if you’re a kind/considerate person then you’ll definitely find friends. It’s just not your time now.

When I’m feeling like I’m lacking friends or a boyfriend, I go to my “gratitude diary” and look at ALLL the good and positive things that have ever happened to me, to make me feel good about myself. And I also write down the small little things I’m happy about although I may not have the big things that ive been waiting ages for - the tribe of friends and a boyfriend.

This is not something to die over - no way is it worth killing yourself because you’re lonely.

If you’re at uni, don’t you have class mates in the lectures? Have you joined a society for something you’re passionate about? Are you sure “everyone” keeps ignoring you - maybe it’s just the mean ones?
Honestly I met some people at work when I started and out of 20 of them, I only stuck with 3. And it took 3 years for me to realise those 3 were my true friends and the others were just 2 faced and selfish.

Sometimes you have to just go with it and find something to distract you from feeling sorry yourself in your current situation. Sometimes it’s just bad luck or bad timing that you don’t have friends or a boyfriend. .... maybe there’s something you need to do first before finding this crowd. For instance, if you don’t love yourself then you’re not gonna find people to be friends with - how can they love you if you don’t love yourself? You get me?

PM me if you need more help.
Remember there are people who care about you even if they’re not labelled as a friend in your life.