Did you have a bad uni experience that led you to dropping out?

I came to Newcastle University in 2019 and I just finished studying first-year psychology. Ever since I moved there in September I have had the worst depression in my life. I've had episodes from time to time but this entire academic year I have been feeling low and not just "a bit sad". Most days I can't get out of bed or eat, even simple things like showers and dishes feel impossible and draining. As a result, my attendance has been very low. I only attend about 1 to 2 classes a week even though I have up to 10 a week. I struggle to make friends because I'm never in and I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me whenever I do attend. I don't feel like I belong at university. I've always loved psychology and I was so excited to go to university but it feels like this mental state is debilitating and even though I have a support system there I still struggle every day. My grades have been low as well. I scrape 40% (pass) and even then I have to retake semester 1 exams.

I think I should drop out or at least restart year 1 because I feel I'm too behind to move onto year 2. Clearly, I'm not good enough for university and I'm just occupying a space that should be used by another, more worthy student.

Did you have a similar situation? if you did, what did you do? did you drop out? did you take a gap year? did you restart and go back to year 1 again?

Reply 1

harrysbar

21

Original post by Anonymous

I came to Newcastle University in 2019 and I just finished studying first-year psychology. Ever since I moved there in September I have had the worst depression in my life. I've had episodes from time to time but this entire academic year I have been feeling low and not just "a bit sad". Most days I can't get out of bed or eat, even simple things like showers and dishes feel impossible and draining. As a result, my attendance has been very low. I only attend about 1 to 2 classes a week even though I have up to 10 a week. I struggle to make friends because I'm never in and I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me whenever I do attend. I don't feel like I belong at university. I've always loved psychology and I was so excited to go to university but it feels like this mental state is debilitating and even though I have a support system there I still struggle every day. My grades have been low as well. I scrape 40% (pass) and even then I have to retake semester 1 exams.

I think I should drop out or at least restart year 1 because I feel I'm too behind to move onto year 2. Clearly, I'm not good enough for university and I'm just occupying a space that should be used by another, more worthy student.

Did you have a similar situation? if you did, what did you do? did you drop out? did you take a gap year? did you restart and go back to year 1 again?

You are good enough for uni because you got the grades to go there fair and square. However, it appears that something about the course or the uni is making you seriously depressed and I think you need to identify what that is. I agree that you should probably drop out of Newcastle at this point in order to protect your entitlement to another 3 years of student finance at a different institution but I also think you should get a doctor to officially confirm your depression with a diagnosis before you drop out as this diagnosis could be useful in the future.

I would ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor and take some time out to really try and get to the root cause of the problem. Was it something about the transition away from home and if so, would you be happier at a uni closer to home or was it something else? These are things you need to understand before applying to a different uni or a different course. Please try not to judge yourself so harshly and be a bit kinder to yourself. It is not unusual for students to struggle with their mental health at uni and it doesn't mean that you will never be able to cope at uni or are not good enough.

Reply 2

Realitysreflexx

22

Original post by Anonymous

I came to Newcastle University in 2019 and I just finished studying first-year psychology. Ever since I moved there in September I have had the worst depression in my life. I've had episodes from time to time but this entire academic year I have been feeling low and not just "a bit sad". Most days I can't get out of bed or eat, even simple things like showers and dishes feel impossible and draining. As a result, my attendance has been very low. I only attend about 1 to 2 classes a week even though I have up to 10 a week. I struggle to make friends because I'm never in and I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me whenever I do attend. I don't feel like I belong at university. I've always loved psychology and I was so excited to go to university but it feels like this mental state is debilitating and even though I have a support system there I still struggle every day. My grades have been low as well. I scrape 40% (pass) and even then I have to retake semester 1 exams.

I think I should drop out or at least restart year 1 because I feel I'm too behind to move onto year 2. Clearly, I'm not good enough for university and I'm just occupying a space that should be used by another, more worthy student.

Did you have a similar situation? if you did, what did you do? did you drop out? did you take a gap year? did you restart and go back to year 1 again

Your definitely worthy of university....there's no shame in going to a different university and no performing well in first year..... It's alot more common then you think, remember it's only those people on your course who are quite vocal about their good grades... That may make you feel like everyone is perfect, everyone has work experience, no one has self doubt etc...simply not the case.

However, @harrysbar is correct....your remaining time of student finance should not be wasted. Maybe take a year out and work on your mental health... Then decide if psychology is really for you. It's a very theoretical course and if your dealing with your own feelings it has been known to trigger people.

Protect your SFE so that you can make a calm plan for your future 🔮 best of luck! And please do seek professional help.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by harrysbar

You are good enough for uni because you got the grades to go there fair and square. However, it appears that something about the course or the uni is making you seriously depressed and I think you need to identify what that is. I agree that you should probably drop out of Newcastle at this point in order to protect your entitlement to another 3 years of student finance at a different institution but I also think you should get a doctor to officially confirm your depression with a diagnosis before you drop out as this diagnosis could be useful in the future.

I would ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor and take some time out to really try and get to the root cause of the problem. Was it something about the transition away from home and if so, would you be happier at a uni closer to home or was it something else? These are things you need to understand before applying to a different uni or a different course. Please try not to judge yourself so harshly and be a bit kinder to yourself. It is not unusual for students to struggle with their mental health at uni and it doesn't mean that you will never be able to cope at uni or are not good enough.

Thank you for your reply. I do have an official diagnosis of depression. I asked for uni counselling but they told me I was too unwell and told to see my GP. So I went to see my GP for new medication. Since I moved cities I had to use a new GP and they turned out to be kinda mean. When I explained how badly I was doing, how I wasn’t sleeping, couldn’t get out of bed, eat or wash myself he told me I was the 5th person he has seen that day with low mood (even though I think I’ve got something worse than just low mood). He told me that I know how to fix this and that I’m just not doing anything. I felt really hurt by his comments because I was having a difficult time and I was under high risk and he brushed my symptoms off and dismissed them. I did get my medication changed but I haven’t seen any GP since because 1. it’s impossible to get an appointment with my surgery and 2. I don’t want to meet another mean GP. I understand they have difficult jobs but I felt so rejected I knew I couldn’t return. I went back to ask for university counselling but they told me I was “too well” and I should use silver cloud instead. I’ve tried silver cloud on many different occasions but with no success. So once again I was rejected by another well-being service. First my GP, then the university. I also self referred to a local therapy service but I didn’t hear anything from them for 5 months and when I did hear back they offered me a similar service as silver cloud but under a different name. I know it’s hard to do appointments face to face in the pandemic but at least a phone or zoom appointment would suffice. I don’t want to sound like I think I deserve better than something online but they should at least understand that I’ve been seeing GPs, counsellors and therapists since I was 13 so I know the system and I know what I need and I’ve never been treated as badly as in Newcastle.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Realitysreflexx

Your definitely worthy of university....there's no shame in going to a different university and no performing well in first year..... It's alot more common then you think, remember it's only those people on your course who are quite vocal about their good grades... That may make you feel like everyone is perfect, everyone has work experience, no one has self doubt etc...simply not the case.

However, @harrysbar is correct....your remaining time of student finance should not be wasted. Maybe take a year out and work on your mental health... Then decide if psychology is really for you. It's a very theoretical course and if your dealing with your own feelings it has been known to trigger people.

Protect your SFE so that you can make a calm plan for your future 🔮 best of luck! And please do seek professional help.

Thank you for your comment.

I’ve replied to @harrysbar and explained how I’ve tried to access professional help but with little success.

The most saddening part of my university experience is that I was always a star student at sixth form. I got high grades across all my classes and had very good grades in psychology. However, when I started university that changed quite rapidly. Maybe it’s because there’s more independent work involved and I’m not used to that or maybe it’s because the deadlines have gotten longer and I don’t know how to plan my time efficiently. Every time I did try to plan my time and make schedules it was hard to follow them because I felt crippled by my mind and the condition I was in.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I dropped out of a maths and music degree at Keele University. I was laughed at by my flat mates, outed as trans more than once, I hated the course and had a very boring lecturer, felt very homesick and just generally had an awful time, even after trying to change courses. I was also told that a councillor there recommended conversion therapy to another trans student, so didn't really feel like I could speak to anyone there.
I took a gap year, as I'd just missed the cut off for transferring. Obviously that gap year didn't go exactly as planned, but I did get to do a lot of the things I wanted to, I did some work experience in the music department of my local secondary school, as I want to be a music teacher. I also worked up to grade 8 standard on my instrument, and successfully reapplied to universities and conservatoires. In September, I'm going to be starting a degree in Classical Guitar Performance at Trinity Laban.
You still have time to register for clearing, so you don't necessarily have to take a gap year, that's your choice, but it sounds like you're really unhappy at Newcastle. Of course you can stay if you want, that's your choice, but if you're not going to classes, aren't really going out, can't do basic tasks, it really sounds like it's causing you actual depression, and I wouldn't recommend staying in that environment.
I would register for clearing, so if you decide you DO want to apply through clearing, you can do that quickly/at short notice, and then if you don't it's no big deal, you can just re-register next year (if you choose to).

Did you have a bad uni experience that led you to dropping out?

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