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Roomate went through my stuff and discovered my dirty little secret. I'm so ashamed
Sorry for the long post. I'm just at the end of my tether and feel so **** about what's happening in my life at the moment.
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been dry now for about 14 months after realising I couldn't drink normally after five years of university binging. I was doing really well until I moved back into my flat after spending the summer with my family, and I slipped off the wagon. It was brought on by the way my roommate has started behaving towards me. Basically, he's from a rich family and has been given everything in life--from a private education to thousands of pounds to go on holidays to places like South Africa, Fiji and Thailand. Yet he's really not done all too well for himself. He has few friends, works a job that pays adequately (not that he needs it, and besides he only works 5 HOUR weeks, minus commute), a fiancée who's only with him because of his parent's money, and he's looked down upon by many people who make their feelings clear. We didn't really discuss our backgrounds, and though we had our fallouts during the first year of living together (last year), we tolerated one another.
Then we decided to go to Europe for a few days this summer, and things got out of hand. My dad mentioned that I'd won various scholarships to go to the schools I've been to and to have the job I now have, and that I get my accommodation half paid for by my employer. My old man wasn't bragging but explaining how I'd managed to exist financially the last few years as prices have soared on the London housing market. He was very polite to my parents, but as soon as we left for France he became sharp and went for hours without speaking to me, just lying on his bed in the hotel watching TV in a language he doesn't speak. As we moved on through the Low Countries the mood got worse. He would walk off from me at stations, as he had done once at the Bastille, and since I knew he'd get lost, I had no choice but to try and track him down and to get him back to the hotel safely. Things reached a head in Denmark, when he lashed out that I was the worst man he'd ever met, that he hated me, and he never wanted to see me again. I retorted by explaining how much I do for him around the flat, that nobody else would put up with his constant use of the air con ALONG WITH the heating in mid-winter, and that I'd had to babysit him on a holiday which was supposed to be spectacular. He replied, "Everything nice you've ever done has been so you could **** my fiancée."
I left for home, finding a message that he was paying £200 so he could move into the flat a few days early in order to take my old room--the one with the air con and walk-in wardrobe. I arrived there on the tube to find both air con units running full power, a huge fridge in his room (even though there is a perfectly good fridge-freezer in the common area) the microwave was taken into his bedroom so as that I couldn't use it, locks installed on his bedroom door (completely against housing policy which could cost us unknown liability cover at the end of the year), the dishwasher running full pelt with one plate in it, and the outside light left on, just for good measure, in the middle of the day. I didn't say a word. Just said hi to him and his fiancée--who scowled at me--moved some of my stuff in which I'd left with my ex-gf. I was told in no uncertain terms that things were to change. I wasn't to touch any of his stuff, we were to buy our own toilet paper, and if he wanted to use the air con in the living room at full power, I had no right to turn it off.
I really just wanted to move in and have an easy life, so I shrugged and went along. Then the other day the building was inspected, and the locks on his door were found. The maintenance guy removed them with a wrench while he was out, and must have turned the air con off in his room when he did this. When my roommate came back, he was a little worse for wear, opened my door, and threw the shoes I'd left in the living room in, screaming at me, assuming that I had taken his locks off and turned off his air con. I explained this wasn’t the case, but he still blamed me for whatever reason. I was tense, I'd been sober for over a year, and I thought, "**** it." I went to the fridge, grabbed a beer, cracked it open, and shouted "cheers mate." And he cried "that's what I like to see" and started bare hugging me. We drank through the night, though I was wasted off four stubbies, and I woke up with the same depression and feeling of worthlessness which led me to quit in the first place. Luckily, there was still a bit of Champagne left in the fridge, of which I downed half the bottle to calm my nerves and make me feel better (a trick all alkies know and use), and I sauntered down to the shop to get some more wine and some beers at about 11am. The session lasted four days with a couple of additional days just coming off it gradually to avoid a bad withdrawal. I had the sweats, depression, but thankfully no shakes. I was sick and my room stank of BO, and when my rm's fiancée came back he just turned against me again, saying that I was a snob and refused to acknowledge my presence.
He started complaining about the smell, and though I showered and got myself back in order, I still obviously had to clear the bottles from my room. I would sneak them to the garbage during the night as they slept, but for the meanwhile snuck them into my wardrobe in case maintenance came round, and put a blanket over them. When I came back from work this evening, the wardrobe door was ajar, the blanket had been moved, and he'd been going through my books and papers (I thought I heard him tell his fiancée that I'd been stealing from him, and maybe that's what he was doing in there). Of course, I should be pissed off that he went through my stuff and had access to sensitive data, especially after his prissiness, but that can't hide the fact that I fell off the wagon big time, and that I have an alcohol problem. I've been going to the gym and working the fat off which I gained from my binge, but I'm really concerned about the other consequences. Will he tell my friends about my problem (my ex-gf, who’s probably my best friend, knows and has helped me through it, but has a suspicion I fell off the other week)? More ominously, will his jealousy of stuff I've actually had to put in lots of effort for encourage him to anonymously call or write to my employer about it? Since joining the company I have excelled, winning intra-industry awards and I'm well liked by fellow employees, but will this be enough if they found out that under the clean cut image is a dry drunk, and a potential wet drunk who could disappoint at any time? I knew as I cracked open that first beer I was making a huge mistake, and just hope the consequences don't ruin me.
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been dry now for about 14 months after realising I couldn't drink normally after five years of university binging. I was doing really well until I moved back into my flat after spending the summer with my family, and I slipped off the wagon. It was brought on by the way my roommate has started behaving towards me. Basically, he's from a rich family and has been given everything in life--from a private education to thousands of pounds to go on holidays to places like South Africa, Fiji and Thailand. Yet he's really not done all too well for himself. He has few friends, works a job that pays adequately (not that he needs it, and besides he only works 5 HOUR weeks, minus commute), a fiancée who's only with him because of his parent's money, and he's looked down upon by many people who make their feelings clear. We didn't really discuss our backgrounds, and though we had our fallouts during the first year of living together (last year), we tolerated one another.
Then we decided to go to Europe for a few days this summer, and things got out of hand. My dad mentioned that I'd won various scholarships to go to the schools I've been to and to have the job I now have, and that I get my accommodation half paid for by my employer. My old man wasn't bragging but explaining how I'd managed to exist financially the last few years as prices have soared on the London housing market. He was very polite to my parents, but as soon as we left for France he became sharp and went for hours without speaking to me, just lying on his bed in the hotel watching TV in a language he doesn't speak. As we moved on through the Low Countries the mood got worse. He would walk off from me at stations, as he had done once at the Bastille, and since I knew he'd get lost, I had no choice but to try and track him down and to get him back to the hotel safely. Things reached a head in Denmark, when he lashed out that I was the worst man he'd ever met, that he hated me, and he never wanted to see me again. I retorted by explaining how much I do for him around the flat, that nobody else would put up with his constant use of the air con ALONG WITH the heating in mid-winter, and that I'd had to babysit him on a holiday which was supposed to be spectacular. He replied, "Everything nice you've ever done has been so you could **** my fiancée."
I left for home, finding a message that he was paying £200 so he could move into the flat a few days early in order to take my old room--the one with the air con and walk-in wardrobe. I arrived there on the tube to find both air con units running full power, a huge fridge in his room (even though there is a perfectly good fridge-freezer in the common area) the microwave was taken into his bedroom so as that I couldn't use it, locks installed on his bedroom door (completely against housing policy which could cost us unknown liability cover at the end of the year), the dishwasher running full pelt with one plate in it, and the outside light left on, just for good measure, in the middle of the day. I didn't say a word. Just said hi to him and his fiancée--who scowled at me--moved some of my stuff in which I'd left with my ex-gf. I was told in no uncertain terms that things were to change. I wasn't to touch any of his stuff, we were to buy our own toilet paper, and if he wanted to use the air con in the living room at full power, I had no right to turn it off.
I really just wanted to move in and have an easy life, so I shrugged and went along. Then the other day the building was inspected, and the locks on his door were found. The maintenance guy removed them with a wrench while he was out, and must have turned the air con off in his room when he did this. When my roommate came back, he was a little worse for wear, opened my door, and threw the shoes I'd left in the living room in, screaming at me, assuming that I had taken his locks off and turned off his air con. I explained this wasn’t the case, but he still blamed me for whatever reason. I was tense, I'd been sober for over a year, and I thought, "**** it." I went to the fridge, grabbed a beer, cracked it open, and shouted "cheers mate." And he cried "that's what I like to see" and started bare hugging me. We drank through the night, though I was wasted off four stubbies, and I woke up with the same depression and feeling of worthlessness which led me to quit in the first place. Luckily, there was still a bit of Champagne left in the fridge, of which I downed half the bottle to calm my nerves and make me feel better (a trick all alkies know and use), and I sauntered down to the shop to get some more wine and some beers at about 11am. The session lasted four days with a couple of additional days just coming off it gradually to avoid a bad withdrawal. I had the sweats, depression, but thankfully no shakes. I was sick and my room stank of BO, and when my rm's fiancée came back he just turned against me again, saying that I was a snob and refused to acknowledge my presence.
He started complaining about the smell, and though I showered and got myself back in order, I still obviously had to clear the bottles from my room. I would sneak them to the garbage during the night as they slept, but for the meanwhile snuck them into my wardrobe in case maintenance came round, and put a blanket over them. When I came back from work this evening, the wardrobe door was ajar, the blanket had been moved, and he'd been going through my books and papers (I thought I heard him tell his fiancée that I'd been stealing from him, and maybe that's what he was doing in there). Of course, I should be pissed off that he went through my stuff and had access to sensitive data, especially after his prissiness, but that can't hide the fact that I fell off the wagon big time, and that I have an alcohol problem. I've been going to the gym and working the fat off which I gained from my binge, but I'm really concerned about the other consequences. Will he tell my friends about my problem (my ex-gf, who’s probably my best friend, knows and has helped me through it, but has a suspicion I fell off the other week)? More ominously, will his jealousy of stuff I've actually had to put in lots of effort for encourage him to anonymously call or write to my employer about it? Since joining the company I have excelled, winning intra-industry awards and I'm well liked by fellow employees, but will this be enough if they found out that under the clean cut image is a dry drunk, and a potential wet drunk who could disappoint at any time? I knew as I cracked open that first beer I was making a huge mistake, and just hope the consequences don't ruin me.
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I skim read through all that as I need to get ready to go to an interview in a minute.
But yes, I have understood what you are talking about and also the situation you are in.
I believe that you are both 2 grown, mature, blokes so you can sort this out amongst yourselves, so why the HELL should he go and tell **** to your employer/gf etc?
That would be sad and not to mention VERY childish.
If I was you I would try and make my self an army..
I'm being serious.
Start getting to know more people, bring them to your side and about this alcohol problem - sounds like to me you are working on it so good on ya
But yes, I have understood what you are talking about and also the situation you are in.
I believe that you are both 2 grown, mature, blokes so you can sort this out amongst yourselves, so why the HELL should he go and tell **** to your employer/gf etc?
That would be sad and not to mention VERY childish.
If I was you I would try and make my self an army..
I'm being serious.
Start getting to know more people, bring them to your side and about this alcohol problem - sounds like to me you are working on it so good on ya
does he definitely know that you have a problem? he could just see the large amount of alcohol and not the problem, or does he know your recovering?
This story is pathetic. I may have missed the point somewhere, but why can't you move out? He's a ******. I'm trying to skim read it again and find something which binds you to this guy like he's a brother or something, but can't. He is an absolute ****head, I don't get why you have to stay with someone like that, he's so childish.
chr15chr15
does he definitely know that you have a problem? he could just see the large amount of alcohol and not the problem, or does he know your recovering?
Just all the bottles. I could never discuss it with him.
He sounds like an absolute moron and I feel for you for having to live with someone like that.
I would find a place where you can either live alone or with a more respectful room-mate. Also I don't think he will realise you are a recovering alcoholic from a few bottles stashed in your room, probably just that you are a messy, untidy person! Sounds so up his own arse that something like that he wouldn't even click with.
Hope you sort it out.
I would find a place where you can either live alone or with a more respectful room-mate. Also I don't think he will realise you are a recovering alcoholic from a few bottles stashed in your room, probably just that you are a messy, untidy person! Sounds so up his own arse that something like that he wouldn't even click with.
Hope you sort it out.
Move out dude, he's not worth living with.
If you worked so hard to give up, and he brought you down again, it's quite clear you shouldn't be around him.
He's a spoilt, childish little kid, and you're better than that.
Find other decent people to live with. I would not tolerate someone else going through my stuff.
And you have nothing to be ashamed about. You quit once, you can quit again.
If you worked so hard to give up, and he brought you down again, it's quite clear you shouldn't be around him.
He's a spoilt, childish little kid, and you're better than that.
Find other decent people to live with. I would not tolerate someone else going through my stuff.
And you have nothing to be ashamed about. You quit once, you can quit again.
Move out NOW! ASAP! This rooomate/your relationship/living agreement can royally **** you up again if things continue to be like they are now. Find somewhere new, quick.
EDIT: My bad, ignore me
Irukandji
lol, I see what you did there.
I don't actually get it..
PM me please coz I know it's going to bug me if I don't find out and you are all fnding it quite amusing so I would like to as well
And also..it is rather rude discussing it on here during the discussion of a serious matter Anonymous
Just all the bottles. I could never discuss it with him.
may be then that he doesnt actually know you have any alcohol problems and if you play it well you could make it seem like a regular session!
I strongly suggest you go back to being sober if you haven't already this will make playing your part easier and healthier in the long run.
chr15chr15
may be then that he doesnt actually know you have any alcohol problems and if you play it well you could make it seem like a regular session!
I strongly suggest you go back to being sober if you haven't already this will make playing your part easier and healthier in the long run.
I strongly suggest you go back to being sober if you haven't already this will make playing your part easier and healthier in the long run.
We only had the one night drinking, then the rest I did either just reading and writing in my room and at a pub with one of my old uni chums who doesn't know about my problems with booze, my year long sobriety, and considers me, like himself, a heavy but social drinker. When my ex came round to see me after having been incommunicado for several days, I just said something like, "not well. Got food poisoning or something" and I didn't let her in. So she knows. She's not stupid.
Anonymous
We only had the one night drinking, then the rest I did either just reading and writing in my room and at a pub with one of my old uni chums who doesn't know about my problems with booze, my year long sobriety, and considers me, like himself, a heavy but social drinker. When my ex came round to see me after having been incommunicado for several days, I just said something like, "not well. Got food poisoning or something" and I didn't let her in. So she knows. She's not stupid.
well your ex seems like she wouldn't say anything, im suprised she didnt try to help more. I think you should be alright about the room mate he seems pretty oblivious to things going on around, but like everyone else i suggest you find someone better to live with if possible.
Why the hell are you living with this ****? Move out.
And why the hell did you go on holiday with him if you hate each other so much?
If anyone does say anything to you about it then you can either a) deny it all or b) be honest about the fact that you're a recovering alcoholic. People are more likely to admire you for admitting you have a problem and doing something about it, rather than deriding you for being an alcoholic in the first place (and if they do think badly of you for it, they're ****s as well and you probably shouldn't be associating with them).
And why the hell did you go on holiday with him if you hate each other so much?
If anyone does say anything to you about it then you can either a) deny it all or b) be honest about the fact that you're a recovering alcoholic. People are more likely to admire you for admitting you have a problem and doing something about it, rather than deriding you for being an alcoholic in the first place (and if they do think badly of you for it, they're ****s as well and you probably shouldn't be associating with them).
does anybody else see the plot of the talented mister ripley here minus murder??
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