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Non believer and Christian

Hi everyone , me and my girlfriend of a year broke up due to religion, she is a Christian whereas I’m known as a non believer as I don’t know what I believe I’ve never thought on the subject. The whole time we was together she had never mentioned religion not once and we have had sex but all of a sudden she has said something opened her eyes and would like to be a pure Christian and needs to find herself and we have split up because of it. I have said to her I completely accept her this way and would even go to church and possibly see Christ through her but it just wasn’t enough, and now we’re both in love but not together and I’m heartbroken picking up the pieces of myself. Although I am reading forums and trying to understand things from her point of view which is helping a little and she would like to stay good friends, so would I but I don’t know how hard this would be. Any advice or experiences would be welcomed. Thank you!

Reply 1

username5829232

hey! i'm a christian and i broke up with my boyfriend so i could better live for God, so i may understand why she did this better. As Christians we aren't allowed to have sex outside of marriage (or even indulge lustful thoughts!) so if she felt like she may struggle to do that while she was in a relationship with you or anyone then that may be a reason, the bible tells us to FLEE sexual immorality. We are also supposed to love God above all else and so we may come across things or people that take our focus away from God and we make an idol out of them. I'd say just give her the space to pursue her faith journey for now and stay good friends, a break is nothing bad. Some people, religious or not, just don't think a relationship will work between people with very different values. Of course i don't know enough about your situation to be sure. Feel free to ask me any questions i'd love to help! God bless!

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 2

day 481516

Many Christians would describe your relationship as being 'unequally yoked'.

Here's an extract from a Christian article on the subject:

'To be yoked refers to two oxen that are joined by a wooden bar in order to complete work together. Being unequally yoked means that the two oxen are not equal in strength - one being weaker. When oxen are not equally yoked, they can not complete a task together well. Using this imagery, Christians cannot be partnered with unbelievers or they will not be able to live out the Christian life that God wants for them. The weaker unbeliever who lives according to the flesh will slow down and hinder the Christian. Our faith is not meant to associate with the darkness of the sinful world'.

Being a former Christian I must say the article is quite harsh but it is what it is. Many Christians believe this. More liberal Christians would have no problem with being in a relationship with a non-believer as long as they're respectful of their religion but not every Christian thinks this way.

Reply 3

londonmyst

Different people have very different dealbreakers, religious preferences and ambitions. :smile:

Almost all fundamentalist christians and practicing traditionalists are committed to religious endogamy- with most opposed to all intimate sexual activity outside of marriage.
But christianity is a very broad church with a diverse range of sects, traditions, religious beliefs and ways of practicing them in everyday life.

My mother is a very conservative catholic raised in an ultra-traditionalist household who believes in waiting until marriage and opposes all abortion under any circumstances.
My father is a bellowing militant atheist who yells about all religion being an evil plot to scam and control the gullible.
My best friend & I both support interfaith marriage and have dated guys of a variety of religious backgrounds.

Best to cut contact and move on without any anger or negative feelings.
For the future consider adding a dating dealbreaker to only date non-religious girls who have compatible ambitions, lifestyles and personal values to you.
Good luck!

Reply 4

username4522078

I find that very weird as I have never given a **** about the religion or lackthereof of anyone I've been in a relationship with, but maybe that's because even when I was practicing I was never that involved with it. It's ok, bro, it's 2021, ergo much easier to find a better woman who doesn't give a toss about your religion.

Reply 5

day 481516

Original post by londonmyst

My mother is a very conservative catholic raised in an ultra-traditionalist household who believes in waiting until marriage and opposes all abortion under any circumstances.
My father is a bellowing militant atheist who yells about all religion being an evil plot to scam and control the gullible.

Wow! I hope this question isn't too personal but are your parents still together? I do find it interesting how some couples are able to stay in a relationship despite religious differences.