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How to not get attached to a boy

I can't think of anything worse than being attached to a boy. I hate the feeling of liking someone and them giving you no attention back. There is a boy at school who gives me attention, I've kissed him before and we text all the time. Everytime he sends a message I find myself smiling, I think about him all day and everytime he texts me, I think about how long I should leave it before I open it, when all I want to do is reply immeditedly. But I hate the feeling of slowly becoming attached to the feeling of wanting him. If one day he stops liking me or texting me, or something goes wrong, I will be so heartbroken, and I want to put a guard up. How do I do this?

Reply 1

username5613084

U just gotta keep ur distance slightly

Reply 2

username5794123

Original post by Ax Sleepy

U just gotta keep ur distance slightly

2 meters?

Reply 3

username5613084

Ax: tries to be serious
Optics:

Original post by 0ptics

2 meters?

Reply 4

username5613084

Guys this ain’t helpful 😭🤣🙄

Reply 5

username5613084

Original post by Anonymous

Just guard ur heart well, love is a precious thing, so keep it safe, and try not to give it away to anyone who is just being nice, 💯
But, if u going well then carry on w it,
But if u do break up, well ofc u will be sad, who won’t?
Don’t think abt tha tho

Reply 6

username5585736

You realise heartbreak heals?

If anything goes wrong, you’ll heal. If anything goes well.. Well… Idk. What do you think? Seems pretty risk averse to me

Reply 7

username4500092

I mean maybe you aren't really ready for a relationship. Relationship is literally unknown, you don't know whether it will be long - term or short term. Putting a guard up is not healthy behaviour, it prevents you showing you the real "you" to the other person, and tbh that will be straining for you in the long run. I feel like everyone goes through this, I mean one day that might happen, but you just have to pick yourself up and move on. There will be other guys, this guy won't be the last guy you will ever get to know. You have all life to meet amazing and not so amazing people.

So, if you are ready to be in a relationship, you have to understand it is important to communicate how you are feeling, and keeping a guard up, will only give the other person mixed feelings.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

The easiest way for me to not get attached to a guy (Well, my boyfriend) is to focus on other things when he comes to mind (Not every time). I personally wouldn’t like to find myself constantly thinking about a guy I like because I dislike the feeling of attachment (I’m scared that one day he’ll not like me anymore). I’ve started to get less attached to him by distracting myself and keeping myself busy (I do still love him dearly). Perhaps, when he comes to mind, try to think of something else that doesn’t involve him. Maybe try to think about a game you enjoy playing, or a subject you like to study.

***BELOW is a MAYBE and may not work! Perhaps don’t do this unless if you really want to***
If that doesn’t work then maybe try to set a goal for yourself. If you guys aren’t in a real relationship, or if you aren’t serious (I don’t know your situation with this guy so I cannot assume), then I believe you should set a goal for when he messages. It may sound lame and mean, but perhaps whenever he messages you and you get excited, try to wait one minute before texting. Then, if you’re able to do that, bump it up to five minutes. I don’t know the psychology of this, but it helps train me to stop feeling like I neeeeeed to message him as soon as he messages me. (Of course, this may not work and it might make you feel bad)
***ABOVE is a MAYBE and may not work! Perhaps don’t do this unless if you really want to***

If you don’t want to do that, which is understandable, then create a hobby or something fun to do when you find your mind stuck on him. But, don’t do this every time, you wouldn’t want to loose feelings for him. It’s good that you think of him, that you care for him and he makes you happy. But if you fear that you may get emotionally attached to him then its probably best that you distract yourself as much as you can to prevent that.

Of course you will still like him, and of course you will still think of him. That is completely normal! I wouldn’t stress too hard over attachment, because if he’s a good guy then he most likely won’t leave you anyways.

But best advice, maybe give yourself some space away from him and try to take up some time doing things you enjoy. May it be drawing, writing, reading, playing games or going outside to exercise. But don’t stop talking to him, you can start replying a little slower so your mind can learn to not be so “attached” but I wouldn’t recommend waiting too long because he might feel a little upset. But just try to focus on yourself whenever you can! :smile:

Do things you enjoy and make time for yourself so you can just focus on something other than him!

(((Once again, I do not know your relationship with this boy. If you guys are friends then yeah, focus on yourself and things you enjoy a little more and try to respond a little later. But if he is your boyfriend or lover, maybe don’t take too long to respond because I wouldn’t want you to loose feelings for him! :smile:

)))

I’m not a psychologist and I don’t know much, but this advice helps prevent me from attachment. I‘m not too sure if it’ll help out, but I hope it does. :smile: