I game a lot and it makes my boyfriend upset

How can I balance my time with gaming with my friends and talking to my boyfriend when he starts to be stubborn?

I currently have 2 jobs and am quite a big gamer. I enter tournaments and play the game alot with my online friends. I mainly play with my girl-friends but in pubs, tournaments and challs there are sometimes boys there but never anything weird and nothing is hidden from my boyfriend either. I don’t go out alot because I just don’t enjoy anything in my area so I do pretty much have no life but I love having my online girl-friends - were all quite close and have known each other a while.

So my issue is, my boyfriend and I are long distance and met on Fortnite around 5/6 years ago. We have been together for 3 years but in the past year or so my boyfriend grew out of gaming and that’s how we would usually spend our time together - Gaming on video call. Since he’s started to grow out of it and I’ve stayed attached I guesss we’re finding it hard to balance. He goes to sleep pretty early too so I said to him I’ll game with my friends and come off at this time and then we can watch something on call together before bed. I even said id like to be on call whilst we’re doing different things but he doesn’t see the point in that. I had some PC issues yesterday and I’d promised my little sister I’d play a game with her and I also said to my boyfriend I’d come off to watch something around 11. Due to the PC issues I didn’t get off the game till around 11:25 and straight away called my boyfriend. He didn’t answer so I text him and he said he just wanted to chill and will call me later because I didn’t come off when I said I would. just the week before he was upset that I wasn’t splitting my time with him and my friends at all. He felt like he was bottom of the list and my heart did break for him and I tried to improve this. He never called me when he said he would so how am I supposed to balance when he becomes stubborn and doesn’t call just because I was off 25 minutes after I said I’d originally said. I just don’t know how to balance it. I want to grind a game as I’m quite a competitive player. I get bored sitting there doing nothing but also want to spend time with my boyfriend due to the distance

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 1

Grim_Squeaker

Maybe negotiate a few "My Gaming Night" days per week where thats you time. and fit in a few "Date Night" type days for you and him. As a starter. Might help stabilise things for you both.

Main advice I can give is that you both should talk, properly talk and listen to eachother. Then see where each of you can make compormises and perhaps even lean into enjoying eachothers preferred pasttimes together.

Reply 2

Zarek

I’d say it’s about discussing and agreeing what time works for you each to have your own hobbies. I have agreed one evening a week and a weekend a month with my partner. In reality I do a bit more but because we respect a principle of ring fencing time for the relationship it works. Long distance relationships do put on extra pressure because you have less time together

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