Feedback on my English lit essay

Basically I want to improve on my English Lit essays to get better grade so it would be nice if someone could give me feedback on it. However this answer is still incomplete but it would be nice to know at what point I am at.

The question is:
starting with this extract, how does Shakespeare present Macbeth as a powerful character?

Answer:
In this extract, Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a powerful character as a warrior with loyalty, bravery and integrity when being praised but after the Witches prophecies, Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a powerful character through his hamartia of his ambition and his attitude to the supernatural. In Act 1 Scene 2 in the extract, Macbeth is powerful by positively praised and describing his loyalty by Shakespeare as he writes Macbeth as “brave" which creates a sense of imagery and this adjective is seen as fearless, heroic and lionhearted to others like Duncan and Sergeant which portrays him as all-mighty and loyalty. On closer inspection, Shakespeare uses the theme of loyalty to show how men behave and this adjective could further emphasise Macbeth as a powerful character because to the audience as they think of him as lionhearted, it shows determination, honour and an oath to Duncan and his country. Thus Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a powerful character by how others see him and their attitudes by branding him metaphorically like a lion to show his strength and loyalty.

Reply 1

s140805

You have a really great writing style, and use a lot of great language, one thing I would say to improve on is using more quotations to support your argument, and making sure they are embedded in your paragraph. Also make sure your point is the same at beginning and end - as the first sentence says Macbeth is he is powerful through his hamartia and attitude towards the supernatural, but at the end it's slightly different. You only really need one simple great point for a good paragraph, and you clearly have a lot of ideas and know the text very well! For example, Macbeth is powerful because of his ambition, which enables him to act freely, and so on. And then for another paragraph, why Macbeth is powerful due to his loyalty, rather than putting it all in one paragraph. Hope this helped :smile: