parents expecting share of my maintenance loan

i just wanted to know if i’m being unreasonable here
idk much about how student finance works since im the oldest child so first to go to uni, and idk if people usually give parents money from their maintenance loan.
but basically today i found out that my sfe loan got approved and my parents said since im living at home they are expecting me to pay them 25% of MY maintenance loan?! im sorry but wtf. the letter literally says that the maintenance loan may not cover all costs so idk what they are expecting me to do. THEN my mum had the audacity to tell me that the amount i’ve been given is too low and i will need to get a part time job. i don’t have an issue with that at all but i find it totally unreasonable that my parents expect me to give them a share of my loan whilst saying it is too low. like they surely need to be providing additional financial support?
can anyone please give me some insight/share their own experiences i would be rly grateful x

i just wanted to know if i’m being unreasonable here
idk much about how student finance works since im the oldest child so first to go to uni, and idk if people usually give parents money from their maintenance loan.
but basically today i found out that my sfe loan got approved and my parents said since im living at home they are expecting me to pay them 25% of MY maintenance loan?! im sorry but wtf. the letter literally says that the maintenance loan may not cover all costs so idk what they are expecting me to do. THEN my mum had the audacity to tell me that the amount i’ve been given is too low and i will need to get a part time job. i don’t have an issue with that at all but i find it totally unreasonable that my parents expect me to give them a share of my loan whilst saying it is too low. like they surely need to be providing additional financial support?
can anyone please give me some insight/share their own experiences i would be rly grateful x

You are an adult now , name one other place where you could live rent , food , utilities totally free ?

You can’t . It’s time to grow up . We all paid rent to our parents growing up . It’s called learning the value of money .

Your maintenance loan pays for living costs, and somewhere to live is a living cost, what's the issue?

The idea that your parents 'surely need to be providing additional financial support' is amusing, they aren't he ones with 'needs' here are they?

Maintenance loans are means tested and the difference between the maximum that you could receive whilst staying at home and what you actually receive is supposed to be made up by your parents. So maybe this is where you should start looking. If there is a big difference and they are not making up the shortfall then you could maybe point this out. But if you are getting the maximum loan possible for your region and your stay at home status, it isn’t really unreasonable that they ask you to contribute a small amount towards bills etc as long as you can cover your transport costs, any material costs associated with your course and the minimum necessary to participate in clubs and societies and a social life. Once your course has started make a budget covering all your unavoidable costs and see what is left afterwards. Be honest with your parents and explain exactly what you will have left to play with. At the end of the day they want you to succeed and I can’t believe that they’d take a big enough portion of your loan that you would be forced to get a job and maybe jeopardise your chances of success. That being said, a part time job is doable even for some of the most content heavy courses as long as you don’t over do it and set limits, and your parents are providing you with a roof over your head, a laundry service and food in the fridge!

not sure if this helps but my estimated maintenance loan is around 5k, so 25% would be about 1250£ ? not sure if you think that’s reasonable

She's not totally wrong for that but she's definitely not right either I don't know how much you're getting in the loan but it't not too weird for her to want some of the loan to help cover some of the rent or for food (if you're going to rely on her to do all the shopping that is) and utilities considering that you'll be living there anyway during uni. For her to ask you to work on top of that though is a bit greedy however since im assuming she never asked you to do this during college/6th form. Most of the money in a maintainance loan would usually go to living costs anyway if you lived on your own. Unless your family struggles with money, I don't see why she would need to take a lot of money from you. It's also important to remember that your loan is going to gather up interest that you'll have to pay back later while for your mum, it's basically free money so consider making a compromise with her and hopefully convince her to not take as much of the money.

maybe establish a rent payment, and then pay your own groceries and chip in on the bills. It should be about 100 a month for everything to be cheaper than just giving her the 25%. But this is complex. I recommend talking to sfe

Whether £5K is a lot or little really does depend on what you have to pay out of it. Is your uni on the doorstep or do you have transport to cover. Train tickets can cost a fortune. The max student loan outside of London for living away is around £9.5K but often at least £7K is taken up with rent and bills leaving only £2.5K for food and anything else. If you take off your transport costs how much would you have left? If it’s substantially more than the £2.5K then maybe you could pay a bit, but as you say you will have to pay this loan back with interest. It is not free money!!
Alternatively you could try and work out how much money you would realistically need and then ask to borrow only this amount. In this way you wouldn’t have anything left over for your mother. BUT one thing that you haven’t actually mentioned is whether your mother actually needs this money. Will she be losing child benefit even though you are at home, and is she sufficiently well off that she can continue to pay the household bills etc if you don’t contribute?
Growing up implies taking responsibility for yourself but also respecting certain obligations. If your mother will be losing out on some benefits she might actually need that money. Have you asked?

so the commute time would be around 45 min (per day) and i will be taking the train. i’ve done a rough estimate and i believe but i’m not 100% sure but i think the commute will cost around 1800£ per year but that could be wrong. i will def make sure to work out how much money i really need just so i can make more reasonable choices generally when it comes to spending as i don’t want to be responsable. and she won’t be losing child benefit as my siblings are still eligible for it so i guess it doesn’t matter too much in a way? i didn’t mention it in my original post but my dad works in a reasonably well paid job so he covers all bills which is why i don’t get why my mum needs this money considering she’s more or less relying on my dad for everything anyway

see that’s the thing that annoys me the most, i feel like she doesn’t realise i’m going to have to pay this back myself so there’s honestly no point of me giving it to her. she hasn’t worked for about 18 years so i honestly don’t think it’s fair.

In that case I would try and have an honest conversation with her and ask what her motivation is. Maybe she thinks she’s teaching you what real life as an adult will be, but in that case point out the heavy interest rate and explain that rather than incur the extra debt which is of no immediate “ need or benefit “ to you, you’d prefer to take out a lower loan. Or maybe it’s precisely because your father pays for everything but doesn’t leave her any liberty with the budget that she is trying to obtain her own mini budget, but off your back.
Until you know the real reason behind her demands and the amount you will have available after transport etc, it’ll be difficult to know if her request is reasonable or not. But with the £3200 you think you’ll have less the£1250 your Mum’s asking for, it’s certain that you are not going to be rich and more than likely will need to find employment at least during the holidays.

Move out - then apply for that loan.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/students/university-living-costs-calculator/

I stayed at home and 50% of my loan went to parents for upkeep.