The Student Room Group

Question about family visiting

As a single mom, is it your responsibility to bring your kids to the dads side of the family or for their part of the family or the dad to come to yours to visit?
Original post by Anonymous
As a single mom, is it your responsibility to bring your kids to the dads side of the family or for their part of the family or the dad to come to yours to visit?

I don't see an issue as long as everyone there takes it lightly.
Original post by Meheraj
I don't see an issue as long as everyone there takes it lightly.

I mean to ask who’s responsibility it is to make sure the child has a relationship with them, if the dad’s side of the family wants a relationship with the child, it is the dads and not the mother’s job to bring the child over to theirs. Am I right to thinking this? Or is it the mother who has to make sure the child have relationship with the dads side of family even though the dads side is not making any effort?
Original post by Anonymous
I mean to ask who’s responsibility it is to make sure the child has a relationship with them, if the dad’s side of the family wants a relationship with the child, it is the dads and not the mother’s job to bring the child over to theirs. Am I right to thinking this? Or is it the mother who has to make sure the child have relationship with the dads side of family even though the dads side is not making any effort?

I believe the father and mother are equally responsible for this matter. If the child wants to visit his/her dad's family, the mom needs to give permission, and the dad should do it when it comes to the mom's family. It's better not to let him/her go to his or her dad's family when his/her dad's family doesn't show enough affection for the kid.
Original post by Anonymous
I mean to ask who’s responsibility it is to make sure the child has a relationship with them, if the dad’s side of the family wants a relationship with the child, it is the dads and not the mother’s job to bring the child over to theirs. Am I right to thinking this? Or is it the mother who has to make sure the child have relationship with the dads side of family even though the dads side is not making any effort?


What?

In my opinion, unless either respective side of the family poses a safety risk, then there is no reason for the child to not be able to visit them.

I imagine after separating the mother wouldn’t be in touch with the father’s side of the family, and vice versa. Therefore, it is not your responsibility to make sure the child is seeing the other parent’s side of the family. Though, as said before, unless there is a genuine reason for not being happy about the meet ups, then it’s not right for you to deprive your child of healthy relationships.

Edit: You’ve mentioned that the father’s side of the family isn’t making an effort with your child. How do you know this?
(edited 1 year ago)
Depends on the context and personal circumstances of the mother.
The breakdown of the parental relationship, past experience of the father's relatives, if the father has parental responsibility for the child, mutually agreed custody arrangements, if the child is older what the child wants to do, any relevant criminal records and court orders.

I don't believe that any adult is automatically entitled to a relationship or visitation rights to someone else's child who they have no legal guardianship for.
Personally I'm not a fan of the extended family system nor the 'family means everything' close family type of dynamic.
Steer clear of all close involvement with incompatible guys that are into any of that.
Any future child I have will not see or have any contact with grandparents during childhood.
Nor know any extended family members such as aunts, uncles or cousins.
Original post by Meheraj
I believe the father and mother are equally responsible for this matter. If the child wants to visit his/her dad's family, the mom needs to give permission, and the dad should do it when it comes to the mom's family. It's better not to let him/her go to his or her dad's family when his/her dad's family doesn't show enough affection for the kid.

The child is very young, a toddler and barely knows his/her dads side of family because they only ever visited once.

Original post by 5hyl33n
What?

In my opinion, unless either respective side of the family poses a safety risk, then there is no reason for the child to not be able to visit them.

I imagine after separating the mother wouldn’t be in touch with the father’s side of the family, and vice versa. Therefore, it is not your responsibility to make sure the child is seeing the other parent’s side of the family. Though, as said before, unless there is a genuine reason for not being happy about the meet ups, then it’s not right for you to deprive your child of healthy relationships.

Edit: You’ve mentioned that the father’s side of the family isn’t making an effort with your child. How do you know this?

The dad’s side has said they haven’t seen the child because the mother doesn’t bring him/her around. The mother doesn’t have a great relationship with her child’s dads side but was asked to bring the child around. Shouldn’t it be the dad’s responsibility to make sure the child has relationship with them, why couldn’t they ask the dad to bring the child around, after all he’s also the parent of the child. The father can pick up the child and bring him/her to his family. The mother is not depriving a relationship with the dads side because she does update the father about the child but the father doesn’t visit because apparently he’s too busy, it’s too far, long car journeys, and a lot of other excuses. I don’t know why the dad’s side of the family expect the mother to bring the child around. Is this the norm?

Original post by londonmyst
Depends on the context and personal circumstances of the mother.
The breakdown of the parental relationship, past experience of the father's relatives, if the father has parental responsibility for the child, mutually agreed custody arrangements, if the child is older what the child wants to do, any relevant criminal records and court orders.

I don't believe that any adult is automatically entitled to a relationship or visitation rights to someone else's child who they have no legal guardianship for.
Personally I'm not a fan of the extended family system nor the 'family means everything' close family type of dynamic.
Steer clear of all close involvement with incompatible guys that are into any of that.
Any future child I have will not see or have any contact with grandparents during childhood.
Nor know any extended family members such as aunts, uncles or cousins.
Original post by Anonymous
The dad’s side has said they haven’t seen the child because the mother doesn’t bring him/her around. The mother doesn’t have a great relationship with her child’s dads side but was asked to bring the child around. Shouldn’t it be the dad’s responsibility to make sure the child has relationship with them, why couldn’t they ask the dad to bring the child around, after all he’s also the parent of the child. The father can pick up the child and bring him/her to his family. The mother is not depriving a relationship with the dads side because she does update the father about the child but the father doesn’t visit because apparently he’s too busy, it’s too far, long car journeys, and a lot of other excuses. I don’t know why the dad’s side of the family expect the mother to bring the child around. Is this the norm?

If the father has always held parental responsibility for the child and all his relatives live reasonably close to him or the mother, something sounds very off.

Either the father's side of the family have very unreasonable 'my way or the highway' type of personalities or they are not interested in having much involvement with the child and prefer to blame the mother rather than admit it.
If there is a history of estrangement between the father and most/all of his relatives or someone has a criminal record, those could be very important elements explaining why.
Original post by Anonymous
The child is very young, a toddler and barely knows his/her dads side of family because they only ever visited once.


The dad’s side has said they haven’t seen the child because the mother doesn’t bring him/her around. The mother doesn’t have a great relationship with her child’s dads side but was asked to bring the child around. Shouldn’t it be the dad’s responsibility to make sure the child has relationship with them, why couldn’t they ask the dad to bring the child around, after all he’s also the parent of the child. The father can pick up the child and bring him/her to his family. The mother is not depriving a relationship with the dads side because she does update the father about the child but the father doesn’t visit because apparently he’s too busy, it’s too far, long car journeys, and a lot of other excuses. I don’t know why the dad’s side of the family expect the mother to bring the child around. Is this the norm?

You're absolutely right. Why the mother is always asked to bring him and held accountable? Sometimes the father has to do it too if his family wants to see the kid. Otherwise, it would be better not to take the child over there.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending