He made me cry he called me fat

Original post by Anonymous

My boyfriend just called me fat as a joke. we always joke around and are rude but not to this extent. is it normal to cry to this?

I don’t think calling someone fat can be considered a joke. Isn’t he just making jokes at your own expense? I’d find it humiliating to be called fat by my loved one

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 2

black tea

19

It is not unusual to be upset about having your flaws pointed out to you, no

Reply 3

OP

Original post by PDamBi

I don’t think calling someone fat can be considered a joke. Isn’t he just making jokes at your own expense? I’d find it humiliating to be called fat by my loved one

He knows Im not fat but it's triggered my bullying from the past when i was acc overweight and he said "why are u upset its a joke i said that already" like do i act mad at him ??

Reply 4

OP

Original post by black tea

It is not unusual to be upset about having your flaws pointed out to you, no

I know

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by PDamBi

I don’t think calling someone fat can be considered a joke. Isn’t he just making jokes at your own expense? I’d find it humiliating to be called fat by my loved one

I disagree because it depends on how far you go with each other. If you weren't comfortable with him calling you that is it because you think you are fat even though you might not be. Please at least tell me you told him in the moment that it lowkey hurt your feels so he could say sorry rather than bottle it up.

Reply 6

Original post by Anonymous

He knows Im not fat but it's triggered my bullying from the past when i was acc overweight and he said "why are u upset its a joke i said that already" like do i act mad at him ??

I looked at it from your point of view, and his words make me really mad. I’d say to tell him he has no right to comment about your weight even if he considers it a “joke”, and that you’d prefer it if he refrains from making comments like that in the future.
Or…
You can act “dumb” and say “huh? Why would you call me fat? I don’t understand the joke” (I call this the bimbo personality) so basically act all confused and dumb, he’ll get flustered and on his own he’ll realise what he said was wrong. This is evil lol

Reply 7

londonmyst

19

No, it is not normal for the average adult to cry when they either have negative elements of their appearance & lifestyle preferences pointed out or hear a poor taste joke that they dislike revolving around petty playground insults like fat/ugly/stupid/smelly/loser/everybody hates you.

Reply 8

OP

Original post by PDamBi

I looked at it from your point of view, and his words make me really mad. I’d say to tell him he has no right to comment about your weight even if he considers it a “joke”, and that you’d prefer it if he refrains from making comments like that in the future.
Or…
You can act “dumb” and say “huh? Why would you call me fat? I don’t understand the joke” (I call this the bimbo personality) so basically act all confused and dumb, he’ll get flustered and on his own he’ll realise what he said was wrong. This is evil lol

its because i wanted ice cream and he said "i will give u lots of ice cream all the time" so i said "i would become fat if i ate too much so ye " and he said "you're already fat as it is"
so i kind of started it but he's acting like nothing happened.i'll still try and use ur example tho lol and make him feel bad

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous

its because i wanted ice cream and he said "i will give u lots of ice cream all the time" so i said "i would become fat if i ate too much so ye " and he said "you're already fat as it is"
so i kind of started it but he's acting like nothing happened.i'll still try and use ur example tho lol and make him feel bad

Even in that context it makes me mad that he said that

Reply 10

Reality Check

22

Original post by Anonymous

its because i wanted ice cream and he said "i will give u lots of ice cream all the time" so i said "i would become fat if i ate too much so ye " and he said "you're already fat as it is"
so i kind of started it but he's acting like nothing happened.i'll still try and use ur example tho lol and make him feel bad

So the takeout here is that your bf thinks you're fat and you cried? Are you fat?

Reply 11

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Maybe you and your boyfriend should make the difficult decision to shift your jokes away from being rude. If you don't dump him, that is.

Reply 12

Original post by Son of the Sea

Maybe you and your boyfriend should make the difficult decision to shift your jokes away from being rude. If you don't dump him, that is.

I agree. There’s a fine line between joking and jokes being made at your own expense which is considered rude. It’s best to let him know you don’t appreciate “jokes” or comments like that.

Reply 13

OP

Original post by PDamBi

Even in that context it makes me mad that he said that

I mean he’s never said anything bad like this before altho i said once “omg my boobs look really small today” bc yk hormones fluctuate and they can look bigger or smaller and he said “well you’re boobs are small anyway they’re not big are they?” Like how rude. ik that’s not a big deal of an example but he could have been supportive instead

Reply 14

OP

Original post by PDamBi

Even in that context it makes me mad that he said that

I meant to say i once said before *

Reply 15

OP

Original post by Reality Check

So the takeout here is that your bf thinks you're fat and you cried? Are you fat?

Yes i cried and I’m not fat no maybe slightly overweight and that’s it but you can’t notice it unless I wear revealing clothes

Reply 16

OP

Original post by Son of the Sea

Maybe you and your boyfriend should make the difficult decision to shift your jokes away from being rude. If you don't dump him, that is.

Oh ok. Thanks

Reply 17