The Student Room Group

a guy with high bodycount

Hello. I started dating a cool guy. I really like him. The conversation is always great he’s caring and nice. We had couple of dates, he hasnt tried anything on me more then a kiss. He said he is willing to wait as much as I want. We were talking about our pasts. He opened up to me and said he had intimacy with 32 girls😅 I know it’s a bit too much and my friends keep telling me to stop dating him and cut the contact bcs it’s disgusting.. I know it’s too much but I feel like idc, it’s past.. he has changed and is looking for a serious relationship. I told him I am virgin. He couldnt believe at first but then his eyes were shining literally.. I feel like after that information he fell in love with me😂 But i feel he is more attached to me then I am to him. I really want to sleep with him, because I want it finally and plus is that he’s experienced. This relationship wont last fot long. In two months I’m moving to another country. So i take it as summer romance.. Even after this information I still want it.. I know the clische “wait for the right guy and bla bla” Ok that’s nice but I know I have this feeling that I will have more guys in my life. I want to enjoy my life be wild and crazy.. When I find the right guy it’s fine I’ll be loyal and trying to be the best partner ever.. So my question for u is: Would you keep the virginity or have the best summer time with this guy?
Reply 1
if it was me i’d keep my virginity, kinda sounds like he got attached after u told him ur a virgin which is creepy
Reply 2
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:
Some guys have a virgin fetish.
Often these types will tell any lie that they can think of trying to get consent for a ons or hookup arrangement.
Reply 3
Losing your virginity isnt living on the edge, crazy wild and free in a good way. When you're in a relationship with someone who cares about you they tend to care about how you feel during intimacy, why would you give it to a random who most likey wont care. Live spontaneous and free but have standards with your body.
Reply 4
Original post by xox416
Losing your virginity isnt living on the edge, crazy wild and free in a good way. When you're in a relationship with someone who cares about you they tend to care about how you feel during intimacy, why would you give it to a random who most likey wont care. Live spontaneous and free but have standards with your body.

he is caring. I’d say sometimes too much
Reply 5
Sounds like he sees taking your virginity as a prize after that he will probably dump you. A guy who has had 32 girls kind of has geared his mind to a certain way of thinking as a result namely he sees girls just as opportunities for sex once he has done that probably just once there is no longer any allure with that girl and he'll move into the next. The usual line is telling the girl she is special not like all those other unworthy girls he had. After sex though the girl will find out he regards her just like all the other girls when he moves on it's just a line they come out with to get their leg over for a one nighter.

So once a douche always a douche. No doubt this guy is attractive looking which is why he gets the girls. Unfortunately being so pretty much spoils all those men. If a man can get sex with so many women nearly all if not all will do so. It's only less popular guys that are way less likely to stray as they don't have that opportunity with women so value a relationship far more when one comes up and less likely to risk it as they may not get another relationship. The attractive guys are basically spoilt with so many women and that changes their mindset forever that makes them basically no good for a long term relationship no matter what they say. Once a guy decides to go banging multiple women he loses respect for women and that respect cannot be retrieved back so no return for him. Be careful about just getting with him for a one nighter it could end up in you being hooked on them with attractive guys and never ending up in a proper long term relationship until you get too old where men no longer want to bother with you.
Original post by Anonymous
Sounds like he sees taking your virginity as a prize after that he will probably dump you. A guy who has had 32 girls kind of has geared his mind to a certain way of thinking as a result namely he sees girls just as opportunities for sex once he has done that probably just once there is no longer any allure with that girl and he'll move into the next. The usual line is telling the girl she is special not like all those other unworthy girls he had. After sex though the girl will find out he regards her just like all the other girls when he moves on it's just a line they come out with to get their leg over for a one nighter.

So once a douche always a douche. No doubt this guy is attractive looking which is why he gets the girls. Unfortunately being so pretty much spoils all those men. If a man can get sex with so many women nearly all if not all will do so. It's only less popular guys that are way less likely to stray as they don't have that opportunity with women so value a relationship far more when one comes up and less likely to risk it as they may not get another relationship. The attractive guys are basically spoilt with so many women and that changes their mindset forever that makes them basically no good for a long term relationship no matter what they say. Once a guy decides to go banging multiple women he loses respect for women and that respect cannot be retrieved back so no return for him. Be careful about just getting with him for a one nighter it could end up in you being hooked on them with attractive guys and never ending up in a proper long term relationship until you get too old where men no longer want to bother with you.

Does what you are saying also applies to women who had multiple sexual partners?
do you agree with men who say that a woman who multiple sexual partners in the past is a douche, and not worthy to be in relationship, since it is what you are saying about that guy?
Or is itthat you believe that women can dothe same and there is no problem because women are saints?
Original post by Anonymous
he is caring. I’d say sometimes too much

HHe there op.
the people in this thread did not read your post. They just read the part where you said the guy's eyes started to shine when you told him you were a virgin, and are making assumptions about the poor guy.
also, you should ask your girl friends who told you that that guy is disgusting for having multiple sexual partners, if they also believe that a woman who has multiple sexual partners is disgusting. I am sure they will tell you that a woman who has multiple sexual partners is a queen...

the end of Your post is a bit confusing though. What are you looking for? Just having sex with people as much as possible or a serious relationship?
Reply 8
Regardless of whether it's a guy or a girl with a high body count, I wouldn't be taking them seriously in the first place because to me it just screams issues. At the end of the day, you can do as you please but in this scenario it doesn't seem worth it - especially with his reaction. It feels weird and uncomfortable, especially since you mentioned that his behaviour changed afterwards along with the fact that you don't really seem to like him back as much; if your friends don't think it's right either then that's definitely a sign you shouldn't. It's totally fine to enjoy life and be wild but that doesn't necessarily mean you need to be intimate with so many people - you should value yourself more OP I hope you meet someone that's perfect for you
Reply 9
Original post by Ackhnologia
Does what you are saying also applies to women who had multiple sexual partners?
do you agree with men who say that a woman who multiple sexual partners in the past is a douche, and not worthy to be in relationship, since it is what you are saying about that guy?
Or is itthat you believe that women can dothe same and there is no problem because women are saints?


I agree the woman is often just as much a douche or at least becomes one same as the guy.

I get what you are saying and sure there has been views taken of men & women in the past that inaccurately reflects who they truly are. For example in the past a guy could be seen as a stud, etc if he had done a lot of woman and the woman dissed for it. I think in more recent times people are coming to recognise that it's admirable for neither to have a high body count as it tends to signify relationship issues as a result.

Basically no matter man or woman if either have a high body count then either are unlikely to be able to hold down a serious relationship for long. Both are likely hooked on one nighters or similarly short intimate liaisons. The woman getting off on doing it with an attractive man and the man getting off on doing it with attractive enough women. Even if either felt any inclination to try and settle down it's likely an uphill struggle both with their attitudes shaped by their carry on towards more of that and that the other gender are going to be throwing themselves at them. Even if they are not having the other gender throwing themselves at them then the constant thought of them getting a quick sneaky fling off Tinder or similar on the quiet which of course doesn't tend to end there.

So it's kind of what I'm trying to get across to OP that the risk is that it risks her ending up on that bandwagon. If she's not looking for a long term relationship with the guy but still wanting to do it then it could lower all future encounters down to the similar value. As the men & women I described here it lowers the bar down to that one night stand value of short term flings. Once that is done it can be very difficult if not near impossible to raise that bar back up again. A bit like if someone decides to scam someone and never has done before it reduces their morals down to that level as they have then done it once so their is nothing then toying in their mind from stopping them from doing it again, it breaks through that mental barrier and once that barrier is broken it can't be resurrected.

So loose morals is what one nighters tend to signify. Once you do one nighters then you have accepted loose morals. I'm not the religious type at all but it's what they recognised there I think. That in order to hold society together, for society to work fulfilling relationships were required. They needed that back in the day as they relied on people being fully functional as far as possible. Can you imagine it if the all the workers back a hundred years or so ago were all not able to do their work properly, have children, families that stayed together because no one could hold down a relationship and people were going around having flings with each other? The occasional person did but they were often outcast as a result as people knew then that they were bad news as they would have nothing but bad morals which would mess up whoever they got with in terms of having a happy family situation.

So yeah it's all playing out it front of everyone's eyes now for all to see these days. I myself would be turned on by the thought of getting with loads of hot partners so it's difficult to resist for those propositioned from it I get it. It would be difficult for me to resist but I think the question needs to be asked:

'Should I be doing it with this person if I am not willing to get into a long term relationship with this person?'

If you do it with that person with the intention of a long term relationship and believe they do but they break it off then not necessarily so bad as you intended to genuinely not to do it as a fling. However, if you did it knowing that you didn't want a long term relationship then I would say the line has been crossed in your mind that it's perfectly ok and so short term flings as a reoccurring theme are probably likely with anything long term then likely virtually impossible.

It's the sad state of affairs that we are in, in society that short term flings have been adopted by so many making low morals and inability to hold down long term relationships prevalent.
Original post by Anonymous
I agree the woman is often just as much a douche or at least becomes one same as the guy.

I get what you are saying and sure there has been views taken of men & women in the past that inaccurately reflects who they truly are. For example in the past a guy could be seen as a stud, etc if he had done a lot of woman and the woman dissed for it. I think in more recent times people are coming to recognise that it's admirable for neither to have a high body count as it tends to signify relationship issues as a result.

Basically no matter man or woman if either have a high body count then either are unlikely to be able to hold down a serious relationship for long. Both are likely hooked on one nighters or similarly short intimate liaisons. The woman getting off on doing it with an attractive man and the man getting off on doing it with attractive enough women. Even if either felt any inclination to try and settle down it's likely an uphill struggle both with their attitudes shaped by their carry on towards more of that and that the other gender are going to be throwing themselves at them. Even if they are not having the other gender throwing themselves at them then the constant thought of them getting a quick sneaky fling off Tinder or similar on the quiet which of course doesn't tend to end there.

So it's kind of what I'm trying to get across to OP that the risk is that it risks her ending up on that bandwagon. If she's not looking for a long term relationship with the guy but still wanting to do it then it could lower all future encounters down to the similar value. As the men & women I described here it lowers the bar down to that one night stand value of short term flings. Once that is done it can be very difficult if not near impossible to raise that bar back up again. A bit like if someone decides to scam someone and never has done before it reduces their morals down to that level as they have then done it once so their is nothing then toying in their mind from stopping them from doing it again, it breaks through that mental barrier and once that barrier is broken it can't be resurrected.

So loose morals is what one nighters tend to signify. Once you do one nighters then you have accepted loose morals. I'm not the religious type at all but it's what they recognised there I think. That in order to hold society together, for society to work fulfilling relationships were required. They needed that back in the day as they relied on people being fully functional as far as possible. Can you imagine it if the all the workers back a hundred years or so ago were all not able to do their work properly, have children, families that stayed together because no one could hold down a relationship and people were going around having flings with each other? The occasional person did but they were often outcast as a result as people knew then that they were bad news as they would have nothing but bad morals which would mess up whoever they got with in terms of having a happy family situation.

So yeah it's all playing out it front of everyone's eyes now for all to see these days. I myself would be turned on by the thought of getting with loads of hot partners so it's difficult to resist for those propositioned from it I get it. It would be difficult for me to resist but I think the question needs to be asked:

'Should I be doing it with this person if I am not willing to get into a long term relationship with this person?'

If you do it with that person with the intention of a long term relationship and believe they do but they break it off then not necessarily so bad as you intended to genuinely not to do it as a fling. However, if you did it knowing that you didn't want a long term relationship then I would say the line has been crossed in your mind that it's perfectly ok and so short term flings as a reoccurring theme are probably likely with anything long term then likely virtually impossible.

It's the sad state of affairs that we are in, in society that short term flings have been adopted by so many making low morals and inability to hold down long term relationships prevalent.

i see.
thanks for being fair at least.
i share a lot of your viewpoints.
Original post by Anonymous
Hello. I started dating a cool guy. I really like him. The conversation is always great he’s caring and nice. We had couple of dates, he hasnt tried anything on me more then a kiss. He said he is willing to wait as much as I want. We were talking about our pasts. He opened up to me and said he had intimacy with 32 girls😅 I know it’s a bit too much and my friends keep telling me to stop dating him and cut the contact bcs it’s disgusting.. I know it’s too much but I feel like idc, it’s past.. he has changed and is looking for a serious relationship. I told him I am virgin. He couldnt believe at first but then his eyes were shining literally.. I feel like after that information he fell in love with me😂 But i feel he is more attached to me then I am to him. I really want to sleep with him, because I want it finally and plus is that he’s experienced. This relationship wont last fot long. In two months I’m moving to another country. So i take it as summer romance.. Even after this information I still want it.. I know the clische “wait for the right guy and bla bla” Ok that’s nice but I know I have this feeling that I will have more guys in my life. I want to enjoy my life be wild and crazy.. When I find the right guy it’s fine I’ll be loyal and trying to be the best partner ever.. So my question for u is: Would you keep the virginity or have the best summer time with this guy?

Keep it for your husband
Original post by Anonymous
I told him I am virgin. He couldnt believe at first but then his eyes were shining literally.. I feel like after that information he fell in love with me😂


That look wasn't him falling in love with you; that is the moment that getting you into bed became a challenge.

I personally would not recommend it, but if you really want to then go for it. You clearly understand that this situation is only temporary rather than him having filled your head with lies to get here.
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 13
So guys sorry to disappoint you, but We had sex yesterday. It wasnt a big deal for me. He was good I enjoyed it. The thing is I’m not really attached to him as he is to me. He keeps asking me on dates again. He sees that I’m not obsessed with him and that what drives him crazy.. Even if he dumped me after sex I wouldnt care bcs I’m not in love
Original post by Anonymous
So guys sorry to disappoint you, but We had sex yesterday. It wasnt a big deal for me. He was good I enjoyed it. The thing is I’m not really attached to him as he is to me. He keeps asking me on dates again. He sees that I’m not obsessed with him and that what drives him crazy.. Even if he dumped me after sex I wouldnt care bcs I’m not in love


I am not disappointed and I doubt many if any others here are. It's your choice we told you what we thought. It matters little to us as it's your choice. I still stand by my comments though, I think this likely won't be good for you long term. You've got off with a guy you feel little if any love for. So that sets the bar pretty low, plenty of other guys out there you could do it with that you barely have any attraction for if any. So what's the chances you'll get hooked on just doing it with loads of different guys and it becomes meaningless for you? That one man becomes much like another of no great value to be worth staying with over any other. If you're lucky you might avoid all that as like said when you get older the fun will stop, leaving you???
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
So guys sorry to disappoint you, but We had sex yesterday. It wasnt a big deal for me. He was good I enjoyed it. The thing is I’m not really attached to him as he is to me. He keeps asking me on dates again. He sees that I’m not obsessed with him and that what drives him crazy.. Even if he dumped me after sex I wouldnt care bcs I’m not in love

So you've had sex and are getting irritated with the guy. So much for romance and the best summer time! Hey ho, can't put the genie back in the bottle...
Glad you're not in love with guy but I would hit and run before he does and may be get checked he's slept with more girls than most guys would in a life time ....
Original post by Anonymous
So guys sorry to disappoint you, but We had sex yesterday. It wasnt a big deal for me. He was good I enjoyed it. The thing is I’m not really attached to him as he is to me. He keeps asking me on dates again. He sees that I’m not obsessed with him and that what drives him crazy.. Even if he dumped me after sex I wouldnt care bcs I’m not in love


It is what it is. He has to charge it to the game and move on.

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