Living back home is like a prison

I’m living back with my parents for a year (it’s only been two months so far) and it’s awful. They let me live here for free which I’m grateful for but omg my mum has gone back to her controlling ways like before I left home (I went to uni for a year and dropped out). I don’t know what to do but I have no where else to go and not enough savings to leave. It’s costing me my mental health (I’m gay too and my parents support me but moan about lgbt in general- especially about trans rights which makes me feel so desperately sad because I have trans friends) we argue all the time, they have different political and social views it’s driving me mad honestly. I owe my mum £1500 and I’m aiming to save enough a pay her back soon- but she holds this money that I owe her over me like she owns me and can tell me what to do. I never want to borrow money from her again and have learned how controlling she really is. I’m 20 and feel like I can’t express my own opinions in their household without mum commenting and making absurd comments because she doesn’t understand certain things and isn’t willing to learn/ accept them. I’m hoping to go back to uni next year and never want to live back here again but I’m tempted to save the most I can and just leave here in the new year and live somewhere else for 6 months.

An example of the level of pettiness my mum has is that when I’m awake when she goes to bed I’m not allowed to be downstairs or get a glass of water/ use the toilet in the night without her moaning because she has unrealistic conditions for her sleep. I’ve told her how ridiculous this is and compared it to my flatmates last year saying that I had less fallouts with strangers in a flat than with her- I found people in halls way more considerate and more approachable about household issues than her. The only things I look forward to living here is occasions when I see friends- they’ve said their parents aren’t as strict at all.

I feel like such a loser too and hate borrowing/ owing money to people- my mum did me a massive favour and I realise she’s helping but also I don’t get her attitude towards me when I’ve been grateful and will pay her back.

Reply 1

beautifulworld

are you able to start a job or internship, then return to university? going out to work might reduce your interaction with your mother

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by beautifulworld

are you able to start a job or internship, then return to university? going out to work might reduce your interaction with your mother

Yeah that’s my current plan- unfortunately my parents house is a small village so it’s tough finding internships and there’s only crappy minimum wage jobs :/

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I'm sorry that u are suffering like this, if ur still here illd advice u to make some imaginary friends to cope. This may sound silly but they can lift your self esteem and happiness when your parents are nagging you which will make you feel a lot worse. Make sure they are positive and u can vent to them, make sure they are around a lot to cheer u up when ur sad. Ild make a few mabe about 4 or 5 and make it like a mini family. Also make like a parent figure like another one but insted of being like your parents he/she is a lot nicer and kinder and supports you too. Hopefully this will give u a temporary escape

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