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Prefect Application Letter - Help!!!

Hi guys, I'm applying for the role of a prefect at my school and they asked us to write an expression of interest of max 300 words. Problem is mine is too long. Any advise on what to cut?

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To whom it may concern,

Please accept this letter as my expression of interest for a prefect role, with a particular interest in the role of a Lower School Prefect.
In organising my response, there was one overruling question that needed to be answered: what defines a prefect?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as "an older student who is given some authority and helps to control the younger students". Although this definition is technically correct, I can’t help but feel it is missing an important element of what a prefect is. Over the years at _____, I've pieced together this vision of what it means to be prefect. From watching virtual strangers earn the role when I was a young Yr 7 to seeing girls I know and respect gain the position in recent years I've learnt it has nothing to do with the girls’ interests, whether those be arts, sciences, or sports. And disregarding the ____ uniform, it has nothing to do with any external factors. What unites each girl who receives a prefect tie is her determination to have a lasting positive impact on the individuals that make up ____.

A prefect is someone who inspires every girl at _____ to be the best version of themselves, who takes responsibility for their mistakes but refuses to let a mistake define them, and who isn’t afraid of using their voice to advocate for those who feel unheard. What the Cambridge Dictionary’s definition of a prefect omitted is that a prefect is someone who listens and acts on what they’ve heard when appropriate. A prefect is a leader.
Do I fit this definition of a prefect? I’d say yes. I’d tell you I’m passionate, approachable, and, above all, determined. But then, that’s what anybody applying would say. So instead, I’ll tell you what being a prefect would mean to me: Coming to a school like _____has meant I've been able to try things I otherwise would never have gotten the chance to do, and every day I am beyond grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given, the challenges I’ve overcome, and the lifelong friendships I’ve gained. The ______ Community plays such a massive role in my life, both in academic and co-curricular aspects. The staff and older pupils have all gone the extra mile to support me, and I’ve tried to replicate this for younger girls where I can. From ensuring I set aside time at least twice a half term to check in on my house daughter and younger girls in my dorm individually to encouraging dorm bonding and continuing those friendships past (the time we’ve been in a dorm together), being part of a support system for younger girls at ______ has been essential to me. And when a girl reaches out to me for support of their own accord, it brings a smile to my face to think that they could confide in me and receive the support they needed. Being a prefect would allow me to extend my reach, going the extra mile to support a wider range of girls.
______ has given me so much; I only want the chance to give back.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Sincerely,

Reply 1

Ariichu

300 words is very little, so you might have to remove all of the things that would definitely be good for a speech, like the definition of a prefect, the do I fit this definition of a prefect, and just focus on actual tangible things you can talk about. Id keep stuff like "prefect is someone who inspires every girl at _____ to be the best version of themselves, who takes responsibility for their mistakes but refuses to let a mistake define them, and who isn’t afraid of using their voice to advocate for those who feel unheard" because you would be abl to link it to actual times where u havent let a msitake define u or whatever, but id remove the stuuff like "Do I fit this definition of a prefect? I’d say yes. I’d tell you I’m passionate, approachable, and, above all, determined. But then, that’s what anybody applying would say. So instead, I’ll tell you what being a prefect would mean to me:" and "The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as "an older student who is given some authority and helps to control the younger students". Although this definition is technically correct, I can’t help but feel it is missing an important element of what a prefect is. Over the years at _____, I've pieced together this vision of what it means to be prefect."

hopefully that helps, and its obviously all just my opinion

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