The Student Room Group

Advice for living situation in final year

I have never lived 'alone' or 'independently' as a student since I have always had the opportunity to share a room with my girlfriend + live with friends. I have this feeling for my final year of university now that I want to live alone in a studio or a 2 or 3 bed flat at most to experience living by myself and meeting new people since I also feel like I have never gotten out of my comfort zone.
My girlfriend and I do the same course and would go to the same lectures for our final year however I've communicated my feeling that I want to live apart on my own for my personal development and to actually not be co-dependent on her for my emotions. She is really caring and re-assures me whenever I need it however I feel I've realised I need to learn how to be happy by myself and not always be lost or not in control of my feelings.
She's told me however that it'll make no difference and I can work on myself whilst living with her however I've tried to do this for the past 3 years and I don't think i've had much success since I've felt like this for a long time.
Any advice regarding this would be great.
Reply 1
I agree that there is something developmental and therapeutic about living alone. Having your own space, making your own minute to minute choices and the pleasure of inviting someone to your home. This is why not rushing in to living with someone is a good idea and why weekend relationships are good half-way houses. You’ll need to find a way of selling this to your gf though
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 2
Original post by Zarek
I agree that there is something developmental and therapeutic about living alone. Having you own space, making your own minute to minute choices and the pleasure of inviting someone to your home. This is why not rushing in to living with someone is a good idea and why weekend relationships are good half-way houses. You’ll need to find a way of selling this to your gf though


Yeah she's not very happy with my perspective because she's saying that it's my mindset that I need to change and I should then be able to develop normally as an individual whilst living with her. Is my perspective showing black and white thinking with the fact that I believe I need to live by myself to actually develop as a person?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah she's not very happy with my perspective because she's saying that it's my mindset that I need to change and I should then be able to develop normally as an individual whilst living with her. Is my perspective showing black and white thinking with the fact that I believe I need to live by myself to actually develop as a person?


Tell her this is something you want to experience, it doesn’t jeopardise your commitment to the relationship, rather it enhances it. I had a female friend who was very successful with relationships that said she would never live with someone, because she wanted to reserve something special for when she got married. I didn’t fully agree but it was an interesting concept

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