i don’t have the best relationship with my housemates. i live with 3 other girls who were all best friends before i moved in. i did try to make an effort to get closer with them, but they haven’t really responded to it and constantly excluded me. i’ve stopped trying now and just accepted it.
one issue that i just cannot ignore is my housemate’s boyfriend. for context, when i first moved into the house, one of my housemates told me that she didn’t want my boyfriend to come over that much, as it would make the house ‘busy’. i respected her wishes and limited the amount of times he came over. but then about a month later, she got into a relationship, and now her boyfriend lives with us. he’s in the house more than i am, even when my housemate isn’t there, always using all our facilities without contributing to the house, and changing his address to ours so his packages get sent to our house. on top of this, he has never spoken a single word to me, even though i’ve tried to be polite and at least greet him whenever i see him - sometimes he says nothing, other times he just glares at me.
i did speak to the housemate about this a few months ago and asked her to clarify what she originally meant, seeing as her boyfriend was over a lot, and she rephrased to say that she ‘doesn’t want anyone’s boyfriend living here’, even though hers does. i’m not a fan of confrontation, and considering this housemate is best friends with all the other girls in the house, i’m afraid that mentioning it to her again will put a target on my back. but at the same time, i hate being made to feel uncomfortable in my own home, especially by someone who doesn’t even live here!
i did speak to the landlord about a week ago and mentioned the situation to him (i didn’t say who exactly) since he is also strict about is having people over, but also explained that i’m worried for him to take action because they will know that it was me who told him.
what should i do? i know i need to talk to this girl, but she does have a tendency to pick on me in front of the others and alienates me from the rest. even if i try to be kind about it i know she will take it the wrong way and they’ll all start to hate me by association. i’m in my final year at uni and this situation, on top of everything else happening in the house, has made my mental health plummet and i’m struggling to carry on with uni. i even considered taking intermission. i don’t want to feel this way for the rest of the year. any advice?