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Get over someone

What's the best way to get over someone when you live alone....all I do is think about him

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
What's the best way to get over someone when you live alone....all I do is think about him

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this by yourself. Honestly I think the best thing to do is to actually sit and feel sorry for yourself to start with, actually work on healing and you'll come out stronger and healthier. I'm going through a break up currently, even though I'm often surrounded by people I still feel alone and he's always on my mind. But, I'm focused on facing this head on whilst he's already back on the dating apps and distracting himself.
Original post by Anonymous
What's the best way to get over someone when you live alone....all I do is think about him

Think about what you miss about him. Do you miss gifts? Treat yourself. Do you miss doing things together? Try and do something by yourself or with your friends that you've been wanting to do for a while, and make it memorable. Do you miss being close to him? If so, lean on your family and friends by texting them and calling, even if they can't be present with you.

Also, remember why you are no longer together. If it was something he did, remind yourself of that fact and the fact that you were no longer compatible. If it was something you did, reflect on those actions and determine how you are going to work on yourself to be better in the future. If it was nobody's fault (like moving for uni or a career), then understand that you made the best decision for your future selves, even if it may be difficult in the present.

It is okay to be upset, to relish the good times and to miss what you have lost, but only to a certain point. Once it is causing more harm than progress, you have got to take the lessons you have learnt from the relationship and apply them to your life. You were single before and you lived your life, so you will overcome this and return to that. It is just about time and patience.

Hope this helps.
Reply 3
Get a new hobby
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this by yourself. Honestly I think the best thing to do is to actually sit and feel sorry for yourself to start with, actually work on healing and you'll come out stronger and healthier. I'm going through a break up currently, even though I'm often surrounded by people I still feel alone and he's always on my mind. But, I'm focused on facing this head on whilst he's already back on the dating apps and distracting himself.


Do you ever get the urge to text him out of nowhere? I'm currently struggling with that..keeping away from him. I'm also sorry you're going through a heartbreak :/ Maybe we should both go on dating apps in hopes of distracting ourselves :redface:
Reply 5
Original post by SagaciousSag
Think about what you miss about him. Do you miss gifts? Treat yourself. Do you miss doing things together? Try and do something by yourself or with your friends that you've been wanting to do for a while, and make it memorable. Do you miss being close to him? If so, lean on your family and friends by texting them and calling, even if they can't be present with you.

Also, remember why you are no longer together. If it was something he did, remind yourself of that fact and the fact that you were no longer compatible. If it was something you did, reflect on those actions and determine how you are going to work on yourself to be better in the future. If it was nobody's fault (like moving for uni or a career), then understand that you made the best decision for your future selves, even if it may be difficult in the present.

It is okay to be upset, to relish the good times and to miss what you have lost, but only to a certain point. Once it is causing more harm than progress, you have got to take the lessons you have learnt from the relationship and apply them to your life. You were single before and you lived your life, so you will overcome this and return to that. It is just about time and patience.

Hope this helps.

Thing is I don't understand the breakup myself. He used to give me so much attention and it just stopped suddenly. I don't get where it came from. I feel like I'm missing comfort, I need to understand what happened, if maybe it's a new girl that caught his attention.

Also his birthday was coming up and I already knew what I was going to get him, cause he used to tell me how he's never received gifts from his past lovers. And I wanted to give him something special. I never got the chance to do that for him. Although I was the one that ended it, as I'm not willing to stand for someone who won't treat me the way I deserve to be treated. He used to tell me that he's under a lot of stress (he was truly going through something horrible) and everything was going to be fine after the stressful period he was going through.He admitted that he felt guilty for treating me that way but he'd make it up to me He promised we'd be fine...and I'm just hanging on to that. So after his problem got resolved, I told him that I'm not the type of person that gives up easily. And I'm not embarrassed of admitting my feelings even if this looks like I'm coming off as desperate, but I think we should give us another chance. He shut me off then by saying that he thinks we're better off as friends but that doesn't mean he never liked me. He just wants to focus on his career and he doesn't feel like he can also start something serious. Which I don't get, why was he so willing the beginning then? I'm just finding it very hard to move on, because I really don't understand where it's coming from at all....I'm sorry for writing too much 😭 I guess I'm just feeling it right now. I was also about to text him cause I found a picture of him while I was going through my camera, I was gonna send it. I decided against that so I guess I'm ranting about it here..
Reply 6
Any suggestions? :colondollar:
Original post by Zarek
Get a new hobby
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Any suggestions? :colondollar:


Try some voluntary work. Or a hobby where you can envisage meeting lots like minded love interests
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever get the urge to text him out of nowhere? I'm currently struggling with that..keeping away from him. I'm also sorry you're going through a heartbreak :/ Maybe we should both go on dating apps in hopes of distracting ourselves :redface:


How long ago since y'all broke up? I'd suggest not contacting him... and if it hasn't been a long time since the breakup happened, who knows maybe he'll reach out to you at some point. Either way, give him space/distance and see if he comes back around at all. If not, you'll know he's moved on :/
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this by yourself. Honestly I think the best thing to do is to actually sit and feel sorry for yourself to start with, actually work on healing and you'll come out stronger and healthier. I'm going through a break up currently, even though I'm often surrounded by people I still feel alone and he's always on my mind. But, I'm focused on facing this head on whilst he's already back on the dating apps and distracting himself.


That's good advice! I hadn't thought about the first part like that... it's ok (and healthy) to just acknowledge the sh*ttiness of the situation and that it's normal/ok to feel down about it. But at the same time, figure out activities that will help you move forward. I went thru a breakup last year and for me it helped to stay active... running/working out, talking or spending time with friends, stuff like that.

And yeah my ex started doing the dating app thing right after we broke up even though she said she needed space and wanted to be single for a while. She ended up dating someone new basically right away. idk if that's "bad" or whatever but for me I didn't want to rush into anything before I had a chance to process everything and clear my head.
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever get the urge to text him out of nowhere? I'm currently struggling with that..keeping away from him. I'm also sorry you're going through a heartbreak :/ Maybe we should both go on dating apps in hopes of distracting ourselves :redface:

All the time!! I've definitely texted a couple of times too, don't beat yourself up about it if you do text him either as it's completely normal. Especially when you've gone for speaking to someone everyday to absolutely nothing, it's hard. Ahaha I downloaded hinge for about 5 mins the other week and hated every second of it so deleted it. I know I'll see him on them which will just break my heart even more. I am contemplating re-downloading them just as a distraction like you said but I know that's really not healthy.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
All the time!! I've definitely texted a couple of times too, don't beat yourself up about it if you do text him either as it's completely normal. Especially when you've gone for speaking to someone everyday to absolutely nothing, it's hard. Ahaha I downloaded hinge for about 5 mins the other week and hated every second of it so deleted it. I know I'll see him on them which will just break my heart even more. I am contemplating re-downloading them just as a distraction like you said but I know that's really not healthy.

It's been a week, how are you feeling? I hope it's getting easier. I blocked him cause I noticed all I do is post things in hopes of catching his attention, and I don't think that was healthy. I feel like I was constantly hoping he'd come back to me as long as I knew he was available. After blocking him honestly I felt relived, I feel like with that I took the initiative to allow myself to get over him. Knowing that he wasn't available anymore. I also took time for myself just baking, cooking, watching movies :smile: and hopefully will start a new job soon to distract myself. I really hope you're also doing well because I know how hard it can get. I wonder tho how is it so easy for men to move on? Like you mentioned how your ex is probably on Hinge, and I feel like my ex is probably out there getting to know someone new. I feel like he's into the chase, once he got me everything changed. He made up this bullcrap excuse that he cant continue seeing me because he's "focusing on his self" and he doesn't have time for girls atm, and he doesn't see anything serious happening. When he promised me we'd be okay and said things about being serious about me. And how I was the first girl it ever felt right with. I don't get how a person can completely change their ideology after saying stuff like that. Anyway I'm genuinely wishing you the best xx
best way to get over someone is get on someone new , if you get my meaning
Reply 13
Original post by PennyOnTheDollar
best way to get over someone is get on someone new , if you get my meaning


not many options here :s-smilie:
Original post by Anonymous
It's been a week, how are you feeling? I hope it's getting easier. I blocked him cause I noticed all I do is post things in hopes of catching his attention, and I don't think that was healthy. I feel like I was constantly hoping he'd come back to me as long as I knew he was available. After blocking him honestly I felt relived, I feel like with that I took the initiative to allow myself to get over him. Knowing that he wasn't available anymore. I also took time for myself just baking, cooking, watching movies :smile: and hopefully will start a new job soon to distract myself. I really hope you're also doing well because I know how hard it can get. I wonder tho how is it so easy for men to move on? Like you mentioned how your ex is probably on Hinge, and I feel like my ex is probably out there getting to know someone new. I feel like he's into the chase, once he got me everything changed. He made up this bullcrap excuse that he cant continue seeing me because he's "focusing on his self" and he doesn't have time for girls atm, and he doesn't see anything serious happening. When he promised me we'd be okay and said things about being serious about me. And how I was the first girl it ever felt right with. I don't get how a person can completely change their ideology after saying stuff like that. Anyway I'm genuinely wishing you the best xx

Unfortunately not great. Don't think it's getting any easier for me. Every time I leave the house I either see him drive past or see his friends & family, there's literally no escape I wish I could just pack up & move but funding doesn't allow. Yay well done you for blocking him, I'm proud of you for doing so, that's such a big step!!! I unfollowed my ex but can't bring myself to block him, I'm definitely still checking to see if he's watching my stories which I know isn't healthy. I always think it's so easy for guys, but I don't know if they really move on or just jump to the next thing and don't actually think about it or allow themselves to feel anything from the previous relationship. It's sounds like the exact same thing happened to you as it did with me. Everything was perfect, he was the first person I was able to trust and connect with in well over a year. He said he's never felt this way about anyone, me too, he was ready to make me his girlfriend then all of a sudden scared himself and decided he couldn't commit. Even though he was the one that inviting me round, telling me he missed me, introducing me to all his friends and family. I was closed off at first, he even said he was scared he caught feelings quicker than I did. I'm still so confused, and don't see myself getting over this one for a long time unfortunately. Even though he's broken my heart, I still have so much time & respect for him.
Reply 15
Do nice things and meet new people. It's honestly not rocket science.
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
Unfortunately not great. Don't think it's getting any easier for me. Every time I leave the house I either see him drive past or see his friends & family, there's literally no escape I wish I could just pack up & move but funding doesn't allow. Yay well done you for blocking him, I'm proud of you for doing so, that's such a big step!!! I unfollowed my ex but can't bring myself to block him, I'm definitely still checking to see if he's watching my stories which I know isn't healthy. I always think it's so easy for guys, but I don't know if they really move on or just jump to the next thing and don't actually think about it or allow themselves to feel anything from the previous relationship. It's sounds like the exact same thing happened to you as it did with me. Everything was perfect, he was the first person I was able to trust and connect with in well over a year. He said he's never felt this way about anyone, me too, he was ready to make me his girlfriend then all of a sudden scared himself and decided he couldn't commit. Even though he was the one that inviting me round, telling me he missed me, introducing me to all his friends and family. I was closed off at first, he even said he was scared he caught feelings quicker than I did. I'm still so confused, and don't see myself getting over this one for a long time unfortunately. Even though he's broken my heart, I still have so much time & respect for him.


I think it's best if we try to occupy ourselves. I recently started getting invested in a good skincare routine. Maybe you could pick up something to improve on yourself. I feel better about myself and think he's missing out. Whenever I start thinking about him I just blast some music and put a face mask. Honestly been working on myself and treating myself. I started reading more and recently joined a belly dancing class :h:. Whenever I feel bad I write on my diary and get it all out. After that I'm putting music to drown my thoughts :biggrin: I think if anything this makes us stronger and more cautious with the next guy. My dad always told me guys are only fully serious about a girl when they're financially stable, and in a good place. Ig we should just take this time to better ourselves and fully allow ourselves to heal. Put yourself out there, initially it'll be hard but you owe it to yourself. Think of other things you should be grateful for, sometimes we get so hung up on the bad things in life we tend to look over the goods :colondollar: Its not bad to still have respect for him, its actually pretty mature of you. I think hopefully we'll both be fine it'll just take time. I really do hope you heal and realise you're precious without him!
Reply 17
Original post by gjd800
Do nice things and meet new people. It's honestly not rocket science.


you clearly haven't been heartbroken before 😅 I wish it were that simple
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
you clearly haven't been heartbroken before 😅 I wish it were that simple

It is that simple. There is no point moping.
Reply 19
Original post by gjd800
It is that simple. There is no point moping.


I'm not moping. I'm dealing with my pain in a healthier way. Might not work for you, but so far being open here about it has helped me connect with people that are going through a similar situation and made me feel less alone. I've also been given healthy advices in a nicer approach, that I'm taking and working on :smile:

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