Need advice (I think i might have autism)

I'm just looking for advice here, not a diagnosis or anything. But basically I'm worried that I might have autism. I'm 19F and I've always struggled with social situations, I struggle to initiate conversations and do small talk, and I've always felt like I was an outsider when it came to those things. When I was 15/16 I realized how socially useless I was and decided that I wanted to get better and so started putting myself in situations outside my comfort zone to try to improve my social skills, and it really did help. But now I'm starting as a medical student and I'm worried that if I am autistic and I don't get support that I might struggle with the communication side of the role more than other people. The thing is I'm so scared of going to the doctor and them telling me that that's not what it is and that I am just socially useless and I guess I've always been a high achiever in school and people generally just think I'm a bit weird/ a nerd rather than there being anything more behind it. And it's not just the social side, I also struggled with sensory stuff as a kid i.e. hating wearing jeans and things with labels in, I can't deal with makeup or facepaint on my face, I hate loud environments. But then when I read diagnostic criteria things like special interests or repetitive behaviours it makes me doubt everything again. Because though I guess I don't have many hobbies and those that I do have I get very into, but not in a research heavy/ categorical way. Always more of a performative way i.e. playing piano, reading a lot etc.
So basically whenever I feel like maybe I should go to the GP about it I start to doubt myself again and think I may just be hoping that it's autism when it might just be me making links where there are none. But anyway anyone with advice or any experiences of a diagnosis would be really helpful

(edited 7 months ago)

Reply 1

clozapine

Hi!! I'm kind of in the same position as you I'm 18 and afab and I can relate to a lot of the things you've mentioned and I'm going into veterinary medicine!! I was referred for an autism diagnosis by my GP when I was 16 but due to a whole host of reasons still haven't been seen by anyone grr and now that I've moved I'll have to speak to a GP all over again to be referred and I can relate to doubting that you're autistic or that you're autistic 'enough' to need a diagnosis especially since I've done things to put myself out of my comfort zone and am seen as a high achiever too though I did struggle in sixth form.

I think it would absolutely be in your best interests to seek an autism diagnosis and at least get yourself onto a waitlist if you're going through the NHS (if youre going private you can self refer and skip the talking to a GP! But it might be worth getting NHS diagnosed as well for various reasons that I can't list off the top of my head). I am yet to be diagnosed which is so so frustrating but after the GP appointment where my GP had agreed that I was likely autistic and would benefit from being properly assessed I remember crying and feeling so so relieved and understood and like there was an explanation for all these things that I struggle with and the persistent feeling of being on the outside looking in so I can only imagine that actually being diagnosed would feel like this but even more euphoric.

From the sounds of it (correct me if I'm wrong!!) you seem to be the kind of person who wouldn't be comfortable self diagnosing and asking for accessibility accommodations without a formal diagnosis (I'm the same) and having those will change your life especially at med school which is a challenging enough environment for neurotypical people- having a diagnosis will also help you in the workplace in the future so its absolutely worth it!! When I spoke to my GP about getting diagnosed I just listed off all the reasons I'd compiled that I and other people thought that I might be autistic and he asked me a few questions that i can't remember and also why I was seeking a diagnosis- then he sent me a short test to complete and that was it!! Having a look on social media could help you find more things from autistic creators that you might possibly relate to which can be very affirming and boost your confidence in making that first scary step in getting diagnosed!! Here if you want to chat or know anything else!!

You've got this and whether you're autistic or not- its just better to know than spend the rest of your life guessing

Reply 2

shinybutton

Hey! Im 17F and I'm in pretty much the exact same boat. I recently went to the GP and asked about getting tested, if I were you I'd go for it, getting tested takes a while and it's better just to check incase you do need extra support. Even if they get back to you and you aren't autistic there's still help available.
Please don't wait until it's too late for you to get support, I'm crumbling socially because I couldn't suck it up and ask to get tested sooner. Also a reminder that you don't have to have every single thing on the diagnostic criteria, you might only check a few boxes on it but it's still a possibility.
If you haven't already I recommend looking on websites such as 'The Spectrum' on specifically autism in women/teenage girls, it helped me a bit

(edited 7 months ago)

Reply 3

Jess_Lomas

Hi,
I was referred for an assessment when I was 15 and had it and diagnoised at 18
I would the social things could be general challenges or anxiety or could be autism it isn't clear by what you have said
There is no harm in asking the doctor for a referal as if its a yes then it would provide a lot of answers for you and if its a no then at least you have an answer
A couple of questions to ask yourself
- do you understand non verbal communications
- do you use non verbal communications such as eye contact and gestures (if so is it forced or natural)
- do you have any problems with imagitive play or making friends

- do you have any repetitive movements
- how to do react to change, do you have any ritualistic patterns
- do you have a strong hyperfixation that consumes a lot of time and prevents other activities
- do you have problems with all the senses either hypo or hyper sensitive

So for a formal diagnosis you have to meet the criteria points in the top three and then two out of four of the bottom four points but they ask more specific questions to see how it might impact you and other things. They will also do the ADOS which isn't as scary as it sounds they ask you to read a story and brush your teeth sort of thing and they see how you describe things to help with the social communication section as people don't always know if they have atypical speech patterns etc.

If you want to DM me feel able to I have the more complex list of questions that might help you get a better idea but these are the basic ones from the criteria but there are other things like did you have sleep overs ect that also determine the diagnosis

Let me know if you would like any more of the questions

(edited 7 months ago)

Reply 4

Sorcerer's Storm

A lot of what you said just sounds like someone who's naturally shy, lots of people struggle in social situations without being autistic. The only way to know for sure is to see your GP and maybe get referred for a specialist assessment to determine whether you genuinely have autism.