How can I tell my sister to stop acting this way? Am I right to cut her off?

This might make me sound like a bit of an arsenal but there's no other way to put it. My sister loves to act autistic.

We have a history of autism in the family. These family members do get a bit more attention than everyone else because hey! They're autistic and they're doing a good job living by themselves. But my sister who spends a lot of time online is obsessed with being perceived as autistic.

She stims, she does sort of a baby voice, she constantly refers to things she has as 'autistic ____' (for example I had a slightlt more complex meal than her, she said 'I love how you've got the normal meal and I've got the autism meal'.

On top of that, she seems to just expect friendship to happen based on this. She doesn't interact with the family, she makes no effort to make friends, she sits at her computer all day and then talks about how she has no irl friends. On my results day she bawled her eyes out because we went to mcdonalds and she wasn't there. She didn't say congratulations. She didn't give a ****

On top of that, she talks about wanting a diagnosis a lot but she is at university and had access to the help she claims she needs, but she makes no effort. I feel like his is because she knows she'll be told no, she doesn't have autism. Personally I feel I have something up with me and I'm currently taking more action than she ever has to looking into it.

It's exhausting. Every minute of every day is her trying to 'prove' it indirectly. How can I tell her to shut the **** up and just live life, and stop expecting things to comr to her? Not everything can revolve around you and whatever is going on in your head. I'm planning on limiting talking to her when she goes back to university because while I really love her and enjoy her company, she's a VERY draining presence to be around it is ******* insane.

Reply 1

Apollo07

As someone that's one of three siblings with autism, I understand how draining and complicated it can be to deal with someone who's autistic. My older sister acts similar to your one, despairing about only having two friends while staying shut inside and depending on my parents for basic living and health advice (such as needing to eat fruit even though she doesn't like them). I also get how annoying it can be for someone to attribute everything they do to being autistic.

However, I think, as a matter of respect, you can't force her to change her ways. Most ways of approaching the topic would come off as offensive and dismissive of her struggles, and would only damage your relationship. It is likely she will eventually realise she can't live like this on her own. Additionally, it is completely fine for you to see her less if you feel like her presence negatively affects you, although I don't think you should cut her off completely.

This is assuming she does actually have autism. I think recommending seeing someone who can test her is a very good idea; if she does actually have autism, she can use it for a basis for help that most schools/universities and employers wouldn't refuse, and if she doesn't, then she might realise her delusions are simply that.