Second year blues/regret
Hi,
I’m a week away from starting second year and worrying I’m making the wrong decision regarding my accommodation. I commuted first year with the intention of moving out second, but due to my financial situation I didn’t feel it was possible, plus I have a term abroad this year with a year abroad the following year.
I thought continuing to commute would make second year easier as I know what to expect and have gotten used to it, but I just spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in halls and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Whether I would enjoy it long term I’m unsure as I like my own space without the pressure of socialisation. I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision and now can’t change it since I don’t really have the funds to stay in halls if I wanted to. I didn’t feel like I missed out on “student life” but after getting home today I realised I definitely have. I wished I followed my initial plan and organised my finances to be able to move out.
I had these same feelings starting out last year but they quickly subsided after hearing other people’s halls stories - I definitely would not have enjoyed it. It worked really well for me. I’m also much more anxious for this year as there’s so much more change, which is why I realise I should’ve just bitten the moving-out bullet to make this years changes easier and less stressful. In April I will have to navigate moving out, moving to a new country, and all the baggage that comes with all at once.
To top it all off I’m terrified about restarting studying next week. I’ve let myself get behind over summer and I’m scared I’m going to look stupid, like I don’t know anything. My train companies are striking all week for my first week so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to run out of time for revising/studying due to a change of commute timetable that I found out about today, and I’m just drowning in anxiety because of it.
Are these feelings temporary, and is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? My brain is going around in loops and I can’t stop thinking about navigating changes/starting uni/moving out/making the wrong choice/messed up trains.
I’m a week away from starting second year and worrying I’m making the wrong decision regarding my accommodation. I commuted first year with the intention of moving out second, but due to my financial situation I didn’t feel it was possible, plus I have a term abroad this year with a year abroad the following year.
I thought continuing to commute would make second year easier as I know what to expect and have gotten used to it, but I just spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in halls and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Whether I would enjoy it long term I’m unsure as I like my own space without the pressure of socialisation. I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision and now can’t change it since I don’t really have the funds to stay in halls if I wanted to. I didn’t feel like I missed out on “student life” but after getting home today I realised I definitely have. I wished I followed my initial plan and organised my finances to be able to move out.
I had these same feelings starting out last year but they quickly subsided after hearing other people’s halls stories - I definitely would not have enjoyed it. It worked really well for me. I’m also much more anxious for this year as there’s so much more change, which is why I realise I should’ve just bitten the moving-out bullet to make this years changes easier and less stressful. In April I will have to navigate moving out, moving to a new country, and all the baggage that comes with all at once.
To top it all off I’m terrified about restarting studying next week. I’ve let myself get behind over summer and I’m scared I’m going to look stupid, like I don’t know anything. My train companies are striking all week for my first week so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to run out of time for revising/studying due to a change of commute timetable that I found out about today, and I’m just drowning in anxiety because of it.
Are these feelings temporary, and is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? My brain is going around in loops and I can’t stop thinking about navigating changes/starting uni/moving out/making the wrong choice/messed up trains.
Hey,
My heart goes out to you on this. It sounds like your living situation is causing you a great deal of anxiety and regret, which is really hard to shake. I've had similar feelings before (actually when I did my year abroad) and in all honesty I know how consuming the worry can be when it feels like you've made the wrong decision.
The short answer is yes, these feelings are temporary and will go away, especially those you have regarding starting studying and getting the trains in. It's completely normal to feel like that at the beginning of a new year and in a couple of weeks you'll feel much more settled. You won't be the only one who hasn't done much work over summer and I'm really sure you won't be behind.
It sounds like you have some regret around deciding to live at home. What I'd say to this is wait until you're a few weeks into term before you let this regret develop too much - you haven't even started the year yet! If you still feel like you've made the wrong decision, try not to let it consume you. Turn this regret into excitement to move out and use it to fuel your anticipation for your year term/year abroad! You've still got literally years of your student experience ahead of you, so you haven't missed out on your chance at student life at all.
In the short term there isn't much you can do to change your living situation, so try some strategies to cope with your anxious feelings. I find journaling helps - it sounds like you've got lots of really valid and thoughtful reasons why you made these decisions, and writing them down may reiterate to you why this was the best decision for you right now. Also just trying to do something distracting can help break that chain of negative thoughts, like watching Netflix or exercising (I hate exercising but unfortunately it helps me so much).
Take it from someone who's been through similar - it will get better, it might just take a couple of weeks. Try not to let the regret consume you - it will most likely be a really great second year, and if not, take comfort in the fact that it's not forever.
My heart goes out to you on this. It sounds like your living situation is causing you a great deal of anxiety and regret, which is really hard to shake. I've had similar feelings before (actually when I did my year abroad) and in all honesty I know how consuming the worry can be when it feels like you've made the wrong decision.
The short answer is yes, these feelings are temporary and will go away, especially those you have regarding starting studying and getting the trains in. It's completely normal to feel like that at the beginning of a new year and in a couple of weeks you'll feel much more settled. You won't be the only one who hasn't done much work over summer and I'm really sure you won't be behind.
It sounds like you have some regret around deciding to live at home. What I'd say to this is wait until you're a few weeks into term before you let this regret develop too much - you haven't even started the year yet! If you still feel like you've made the wrong decision, try not to let it consume you. Turn this regret into excitement to move out and use it to fuel your anticipation for your year term/year abroad! You've still got literally years of your student experience ahead of you, so you haven't missed out on your chance at student life at all.
In the short term there isn't much you can do to change your living situation, so try some strategies to cope with your anxious feelings. I find journaling helps - it sounds like you've got lots of really valid and thoughtful reasons why you made these decisions, and writing them down may reiterate to you why this was the best decision for you right now. Also just trying to do something distracting can help break that chain of negative thoughts, like watching Netflix or exercising (I hate exercising but unfortunately it helps me so much).
Take it from someone who's been through similar - it will get better, it might just take a couple of weeks. Try not to let the regret consume you - it will most likely be a really great second year, and if not, take comfort in the fact that it's not forever.
Original post by ellenfasham
Hey,
My heart goes out to you on this. It sounds like your living situation is causing you a great deal of anxiety and regret, which is really hard to shake. I've had similar feelings before (actually when I did my year abroad) and in all honesty I know how consuming the worry can be when it feels like you've made the wrong decision.
The short answer is yes, these feelings are temporary and will go away, especially those you have regarding starting studying and getting the trains in. It's completely normal to feel like that at the beginning of a new year and in a couple of weeks you'll feel much more settled. You won't be the only one who hasn't done much work over summer and I'm really sure you won't be behind.
It sounds like you have some regret around deciding to live at home. What I'd say to this is wait until you're a few weeks into term before you let this regret develop too much - you haven't even started the year yet! If you still feel like you've made the wrong decision, try not to let it consume you. Turn this regret into excitement to move out and use it to fuel your anticipation for your year term/year abroad! You've still got literally years of your student experience ahead of you, so you haven't missed out on your chance at student life at all.
In the short term there isn't much you can do to change your living situation, so try some strategies to cope with your anxious feelings. I find journaling helps - it sounds like you've got lots of really valid and thoughtful reasons why you made these decisions, and writing them down may reiterate to you why this was the best decision for you right now. Also just trying to do something distracting can help break that chain of negative thoughts, like watching Netflix or exercising (I hate exercising but unfortunately it helps me so much).
Take it from someone who's been through similar - it will get better, it might just take a couple of weeks. Try not to let the regret consume you - it will most likely be a really great second year, and if not, take comfort in the fact that it's not forever.
My heart goes out to you on this. It sounds like your living situation is causing you a great deal of anxiety and regret, which is really hard to shake. I've had similar feelings before (actually when I did my year abroad) and in all honesty I know how consuming the worry can be when it feels like you've made the wrong decision.
The short answer is yes, these feelings are temporary and will go away, especially those you have regarding starting studying and getting the trains in. It's completely normal to feel like that at the beginning of a new year and in a couple of weeks you'll feel much more settled. You won't be the only one who hasn't done much work over summer and I'm really sure you won't be behind.
It sounds like you have some regret around deciding to live at home. What I'd say to this is wait until you're a few weeks into term before you let this regret develop too much - you haven't even started the year yet! If you still feel like you've made the wrong decision, try not to let it consume you. Turn this regret into excitement to move out and use it to fuel your anticipation for your year term/year abroad! You've still got literally years of your student experience ahead of you, so you haven't missed out on your chance at student life at all.
In the short term there isn't much you can do to change your living situation, so try some strategies to cope with your anxious feelings. I find journaling helps - it sounds like you've got lots of really valid and thoughtful reasons why you made these decisions, and writing them down may reiterate to you why this was the best decision for you right now. Also just trying to do something distracting can help break that chain of negative thoughts, like watching Netflix or exercising (I hate exercising but unfortunately it helps me so much).
Take it from someone who's been through similar - it will get better, it might just take a couple of weeks. Try not to let the regret consume you - it will most likely be a really great second year, and if not, take comfort in the fact that it's not forever.
Thank you. This is reassuring. I have emailed my unis accommodation team to see if anything is still available so that I can weigh up all my options. I feel it will give me some more clarity too.
Can I ask you a little more about journaling? I’ve always been interested in it and made some attempts to do so but I never stick to it. How do you do it? Do you use a book, an app etc.?
Original post by pinkkxx
Hi,
I’m a week away from starting second year and worrying I’m making the wrong decision regarding my accommodation. I commuted first year with the intention of moving out second, but due to my financial situation I didn’t feel it was possible, plus I have a term abroad this year with a year abroad the following year.
I thought continuing to commute would make second year easier as I know what to expect and have gotten used to it, but I just spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in halls and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Whether I would enjoy it long term I’m unsure as I like my own space without the pressure of socialisation. I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision and now can’t change it since I don’t really have the funds to stay in halls if I wanted to. I didn’t feel like I missed out on “student life” but after getting home today I realised I definitely have. I wished I followed my initial plan and organised my finances to be able to move out.
I had these same feelings starting out last year but they quickly subsided after hearing other people’s halls stories - I definitely would not have enjoyed it. It worked really well for me. I’m also much more anxious for this year as there’s so much more change, which is why I realise I should’ve just bitten the moving-out bullet to make this years changes easier and less stressful. In April I will have to navigate moving out, moving to a new country, and all the baggage that comes with all at once.
To top it all off I’m terrified about restarting studying next week. I’ve let myself get behind over summer and I’m scared I’m going to look stupid, like I don’t know anything. My train companies are striking all week for my first week so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to run out of time for revising/studying due to a change of commute timetable that I found out about today, and I’m just drowning in anxiety because of it.
Are these feelings temporary, and is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? My brain is going around in loops and I can’t stop thinking about navigating changes/starting uni/moving out/making the wrong choice/messed up trains.
I’m a week away from starting second year and worrying I’m making the wrong decision regarding my accommodation. I commuted first year with the intention of moving out second, but due to my financial situation I didn’t feel it was possible, plus I have a term abroad this year with a year abroad the following year.
I thought continuing to commute would make second year easier as I know what to expect and have gotten used to it, but I just spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in halls and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Whether I would enjoy it long term I’m unsure as I like my own space without the pressure of socialisation. I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision and now can’t change it since I don’t really have the funds to stay in halls if I wanted to. I didn’t feel like I missed out on “student life” but after getting home today I realised I definitely have. I wished I followed my initial plan and organised my finances to be able to move out.
I had these same feelings starting out last year but they quickly subsided after hearing other people’s halls stories - I definitely would not have enjoyed it. It worked really well for me. I’m also much more anxious for this year as there’s so much more change, which is why I realise I should’ve just bitten the moving-out bullet to make this years changes easier and less stressful. In April I will have to navigate moving out, moving to a new country, and all the baggage that comes with all at once.
To top it all off I’m terrified about restarting studying next week. I’ve let myself get behind over summer and I’m scared I’m going to look stupid, like I don’t know anything. My train companies are striking all week for my first week so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to run out of time for revising/studying due to a change of commute timetable that I found out about today, and I’m just drowning in anxiety because of it.
Are these feelings temporary, and is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? My brain is going around in loops and I can’t stop thinking about navigating changes/starting uni/moving out/making the wrong choice/messed up trains.
I think even though you know what to expect the start of term is a high pressure time and its expected to be feeling slightly negative. Or like you've not made the right decision etc.
I was just booking my train tickets for next week when uni starts and realised there's a strike on my first day of term. I'm part time and only taking two modules so I'll entirely miss my first class of that module. I've concerns on how it may impact my student loan etc. I also commute in. But I really can't be driving into central London on a strike day. So I guess I'll miss the first day of term. Its now got me super stressed for starting uni but not much I can do about it.
Original post by pinkkxx
Hi,
I’m a week away from starting second year and worrying I’m making the wrong decision regarding my accommodation. I commuted first year with the intention of moving out second, but due to my financial situation I didn’t feel it was possible, plus I have a term abroad this year with a year abroad the following year.
I thought continuing to commute would make second year easier as I know what to expect and have gotten used to it, but I just spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in halls and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Whether I would enjoy it long term I’m unsure as I like my own space without the pressure of socialisation. I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision and now can’t change it since I don’t really have the funds to stay in halls if I wanted to. I didn’t feel like I missed out on “student life” but after getting home today I realised I definitely have. I wished I followed my initial plan and organised my finances to be able to move out.
I had these same feelings starting out last year but they quickly subsided after hearing other people’s halls stories - I definitely would not have enjoyed it. It worked really well for me. I’m also much more anxious for this year as there’s so much more change, which is why I realise I should’ve just bitten the moving-out bullet to make this years changes easier and less stressful. In April I will have to navigate moving out, moving to a new country, and all the baggage that comes with all at once.
To top it all off I’m terrified about restarting studying next week. I’ve let myself get behind over summer and I’m scared I’m going to look stupid, like I don’t know anything. My train companies are striking all week for my first week so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to run out of time for revising/studying due to a change of commute timetable that I found out about today, and I’m just drowning in anxiety because of it.
Are these feelings temporary, and is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? My brain is going around in loops and I can’t stop thinking about navigating changes/starting uni/moving out/making the wrong choice/messed up trains.
I’m a week away from starting second year and worrying I’m making the wrong decision regarding my accommodation. I commuted first year with the intention of moving out second, but due to my financial situation I didn’t feel it was possible, plus I have a term abroad this year with a year abroad the following year.
I thought continuing to commute would make second year easier as I know what to expect and have gotten used to it, but I just spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in halls and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Whether I would enjoy it long term I’m unsure as I like my own space without the pressure of socialisation. I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision and now can’t change it since I don’t really have the funds to stay in halls if I wanted to. I didn’t feel like I missed out on “student life” but after getting home today I realised I definitely have. I wished I followed my initial plan and organised my finances to be able to move out.
I had these same feelings starting out last year but they quickly subsided after hearing other people’s halls stories - I definitely would not have enjoyed it. It worked really well for me. I’m also much more anxious for this year as there’s so much more change, which is why I realise I should’ve just bitten the moving-out bullet to make this years changes easier and less stressful. In April I will have to navigate moving out, moving to a new country, and all the baggage that comes with all at once.
To top it all off I’m terrified about restarting studying next week. I’ve let myself get behind over summer and I’m scared I’m going to look stupid, like I don’t know anything. My train companies are striking all week for my first week so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to run out of time for revising/studying due to a change of commute timetable that I found out about today, and I’m just drowning in anxiety because of it.
Are these feelings temporary, and is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? My brain is going around in loops and I can’t stop thinking about navigating changes/starting uni/moving out/making the wrong choice/messed up trains.
Hey there @pinkkxx !
Sorry you're feeling this way, it really isn't the ideal situation to be in. My advice to people commuting is that unless you live less than an hour away from the uni, there's no reason why you shouldn't try and live in halls for a year at some point during your uni experience. It's such a great way to socialise and really get your first experience of living alone and responsibilities. I know so many people that have said "I'm going to try living away from home for the first year and then see how I go" and then have ended up carrying on living away from home because they enjoyed it so much.
You're definitely not too late. You're only just going into second year so you could always see what was going on with spare spaces in accommodations, have a look at some tenancy takeover options because people may have decided to drop out over the summer that have already got their accommodation sorted. Join some housing Facebook groups for your city and see what's out there. If you can't find something this year, there's nothing to stop you from having a go at it in third year. With the financial situation, I'm pretty sure you get more maintenance for living away from home than commuting so there's always that. You could also get a part-time job to make ends meet or just work solidly over the holidays and save up some cash. Part of living away from home is making financial sacrifices to make a living for yourself because that's part of life.
The workload stress is something we all face during the academic year. So it's important to surround yourself with a good support system of people who know what you're going through (fellow students etc.). It's important not to lose sight of a good work-life balance and prioritise your mental health as well as your academic studies. Don't spend all your spare time just cramming in because you feel like you have to. Find that happy medium of getting things done and socialising with your friends. The train strikes I can understand are very frustrating, the best you can do in this situation is either find other alternatives of getting in, or working from home and using the time you would have spent travelling on catching up with your work. I feel like because these things have been piled on you, you're starting to scare yourself into a hole and it's important to remember that things do get better and stress is only temporary. It can only take a hold of your life if you let it.
Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
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