I met someone in person from an online dating app

Hey,

I spoke to this guy for two weeks non-stop on a dating app and I loved talking to him and had genuine feelings towards him. He definitely felt the same back.

I met up with him in person and he looked so much older in person that I could not speak to him in the romantic way I spoke to him on the App. I was really shocked and uncomfortable and did not find him attractive. I ended up talking to him like a really good friend and spoke about stuff that you really should not talk about on first date ( e.g. body count, ex's etc..). He messaged me after the date saying he could not see anything romantic and cut me off completely.

A few days have gone by, I really miss talking to him. We had a genuine attraction when we spoke online but it did not reciprocate in person and it is making me cry how we are no longer talking. I know we shouldn't have had those inapproriate first date conversations mentioned above, but i wasn't thinking straight.

What can I do to get him back for a second date?

I think he could not see anything romantic because i was not flirting and spoke like an idiot at the time because I did not feel anything towards him like i did on the App.

Now, I am thinking i wish I had flirted or spoke like how I did on the App.

Men please help me! :frown:

What can I message him to land a second date? He travelled two hours to see me and that's the most genuine thing a man has ever did for me.

Do you think if i date him, I can make him look younger because he is 30 and looks 40. I am 26...?

Is it worth dating someone that you do not find physically attractive but can hold emotional and intelluctual attraction?

Thank you.

(edited 7 months ago)

Reply 1

Surnia

1. A relationship isn't all flirting and romantic words, so if you can't have a normal conversation with someone whilst dating it's not worth pursuing.

2. You shouldn't be trying to change someone to suit your way of thinking. If you can't accept someone for who they are, up to a point, same as above; it's not worth pursuing.

(edited 6 months ago)

Reply 2

chattyandcurious

It takes a long time to get to know people properly, especially if it's initially through an internet date.
I don't think you've done anything wrong and there are so many reasons why that might not even be related to you.

I personally prefer to not message as long but then switch to video chat (not even phone). This is for safety reasons too like age and if they are genuine.

You also don't know if he travelled two hours or not. Maybe he did and he's honest, maybe he didn't.

Keep looking. If he's real and interested, he'll come back.

Reply 3

StriderHort

I dunno, if he's went from really enjoying your conversations to cutting you off at once, I think you prob hurt him a bit with the essential rejection (would be naive to assume he didn't pick up on your opinion of his appearance) so hard to see what grounds you would have to beg for a redate if you aren't attracted to him, you might have better luck if you simply wanted to salvage and develop the friendship.