Should i breakup
I'm a 20-year-old guy who's really into sports and happens to be 6 feet 3 inches tall, which naturally draws the attention of many girls. I want to make it clear that I'm fully committed to my current relationship, and I have no intentions of being unfaithful.
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted for a year. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and has put a lot of effort into planning special birthday surprises for me in just 10 days. However, it's important for me to be honest and admit that my emotional investment in this relationship has changed over time. The initial intensity of love seems to have lessened.
She's made a significant effort to plan these birthday surprises, including the possibility of a holiday. I genuinely value her as a friend and will always care about her. However, I'm not ready to fully commit to a long-term romantic relationship at this point. My primary focus is on my academic pursuits and maintaining my physical fitness. I'm also curious about exploring life and experiencing relationships with other individuals, rather than rushing into a long-term commitment, especially since my body count is 1 and i want to have some "fun" before i settle down.
I've made attempts to end the relationship a few times over the past month, but I've struggled to follow through, which has caused confusion and emotional turmoil for both of us. She refused to leave my room and pretended to be asleep, making it challenging for me to figure out the next steps. Eventually, I had to ask her to leave, and things became quite intense. She's aware that I've changed, and I'm not the same person I once was in this relationship. I'm at a point where I'm uncertain about whether to end it or not. I don't have any other potential romantic interests lined up; I just want to regain my personal freedom. Additionally, this relationship has become demanding, and I'm unsure about my feelings.
I want to end it, but I'm torn between two choices, which suggests that I probably should end it. However, I'm afraid of regretting the decision. I'm a naturally indecisive person, and it's difficult for me to be 100% sure. I could really use some advice, please.
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted for a year. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and has put a lot of effort into planning special birthday surprises for me in just 10 days. However, it's important for me to be honest and admit that my emotional investment in this relationship has changed over time. The initial intensity of love seems to have lessened.
She's made a significant effort to plan these birthday surprises, including the possibility of a holiday. I genuinely value her as a friend and will always care about her. However, I'm not ready to fully commit to a long-term romantic relationship at this point. My primary focus is on my academic pursuits and maintaining my physical fitness. I'm also curious about exploring life and experiencing relationships with other individuals, rather than rushing into a long-term commitment, especially since my body count is 1 and i want to have some "fun" before i settle down.
I've made attempts to end the relationship a few times over the past month, but I've struggled to follow through, which has caused confusion and emotional turmoil for both of us. She refused to leave my room and pretended to be asleep, making it challenging for me to figure out the next steps. Eventually, I had to ask her to leave, and things became quite intense. She's aware that I've changed, and I'm not the same person I once was in this relationship. I'm at a point where I'm uncertain about whether to end it or not. I don't have any other potential romantic interests lined up; I just want to regain my personal freedom. Additionally, this relationship has become demanding, and I'm unsure about my feelings.
I want to end it, but I'm torn between two choices, which suggests that I probably should end it. However, I'm afraid of regretting the decision. I'm a naturally indecisive person, and it's difficult for me to be 100% sure. I could really use some advice, please.
As your torn between what to choose, you should choose what is best for her. As you seem to be having doubts want to have fun in your life. It's best to break up with her and let her move on to someone who is willing to give her commitment and time.
She can sense something wrong and she doesn't know what to do to make you happy, but you don't want to commit to one person.
You could go on a break but doesn't mean she will be there for you in the future.
She can sense something wrong and she doesn't know what to do to make you happy, but you don't want to commit to one person.
You could go on a break but doesn't mean she will be there for you in the future.
Original post by jagermeisterrr
I'm a 20-year-old guy who's really into sports and happens to be 6 feet 3 inches tall, which naturally draws the attention of many girls. I want to make it clear that I'm fully committed to my current relationship, and I have no intentions of being unfaithful.
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted for a year. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and has put a lot of effort into planning special birthday surprises for me in just 10 days. However, it's important for me to be honest and admit that my emotional investment in this relationship has changed over time. The initial intensity of love seems to have lessened.
She's made a significant effort to plan these birthday surprises, including the possibility of a holiday. I genuinely value her as a friend and will always care about her. However, I'm not ready to fully commit to a long-term romantic relationship at this point. My primary focus is on my academic pursuits and maintaining my physical fitness. I'm also curious about exploring life and experiencing relationships with other individuals, rather than rushing into a long-term commitment, especially since my body count is 1 and i want to have some "fun" before i settle down.
I've made attempts to end the relationship a few times over the past month, but I've struggled to follow through, which has caused confusion and emotional turmoil for both of us. She refused to leave my room and pretended to be asleep, making it challenging for me to figure out the next steps. Eventually, I had to ask her to leave, and things became quite intense. She's aware that I've changed, and I'm not the same person I once was in this relationship. I'm at a point where I'm uncertain about whether to end it or not. I don't have any other potential romantic interests lined up; I just want to regain my personal freedom. Additionally, this relationship has become demanding, and I'm unsure about my feelings.
I want to end it, but I'm torn between two choices, which suggests that I probably should end it. However, I'm afraid of regretting the decision. I'm a naturally indecisive person, and it's difficult for me to be 100% sure. I could really use some advice, please.
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted for a year. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and has put a lot of effort into planning special birthday surprises for me in just 10 days. However, it's important for me to be honest and admit that my emotional investment in this relationship has changed over time. The initial intensity of love seems to have lessened.
She's made a significant effort to plan these birthday surprises, including the possibility of a holiday. I genuinely value her as a friend and will always care about her. However, I'm not ready to fully commit to a long-term romantic relationship at this point. My primary focus is on my academic pursuits and maintaining my physical fitness. I'm also curious about exploring life and experiencing relationships with other individuals, rather than rushing into a long-term commitment, especially since my body count is 1 and i want to have some "fun" before i settle down.
I've made attempts to end the relationship a few times over the past month, but I've struggled to follow through, which has caused confusion and emotional turmoil for both of us. She refused to leave my room and pretended to be asleep, making it challenging for me to figure out the next steps. Eventually, I had to ask her to leave, and things became quite intense. She's aware that I've changed, and I'm not the same person I once was in this relationship. I'm at a point where I'm uncertain about whether to end it or not. I don't have any other potential romantic interests lined up; I just want to regain my personal freedom. Additionally, this relationship has become demanding, and I'm unsure about my feelings.
I want to end it, but I'm torn between two choices, which suggests that I probably should end it. However, I'm afraid of regretting the decision. I'm a naturally indecisive person, and it's difficult for me to be 100% sure. I could really use some advice, please.
I've kind of been where you are and honestly I think you should follow through and end the relationship because your mind and heart isn't in it anymore. You might regret it in the future but you might not and that is something for you to discover and realise, but it is unfair on your partner and you to stay in this relationship when you do not have the same level of commitment and extent of feelings you used to have. My longest relationship was about 2 years and I had similar issues where I knew he loved me and he took good care of me and I valued him and our relationship but I noticed that over time it felt like we were more friends/roommates rather than romantic partners when he stopped actively dating me. I did try to reignite that spark in the relationship because the honeymoon phase fades over time, but it is important to be investing that time and effort into the relationship to stop it from feeling one sided. We went back and forth discussing topics of breaking up when I brought up my concerns but being unsure about my feelings and afraid of possible regret we stayed together. After a couple months it became clearer that there was a lot I had to work on myself before committing to a long term relationship and dragging him along my self-discovery would be painful and unfair on him. Its been about two months since we've broken up now and I don't regret the decision. I still do love him but love isn't enough for two people to be compatible dating each other, and we're still good friends. He understands why we broke up even though it hurt his feelings which is valid considering the length of our relationship. If you think this is what's best for you and you clearly have put significant thought into it then its time to break up with her. Pretending to be asleep and not leaving the room and avoiding the breakup isnt the answer and yes the confusion is hurtful because it is dragging along this process which is slowly breaking down the relationship, I think maybe be firm with her in telling her what you want and why and cut things off - if space helps then some time apart would be good for both of you and then after making it clear that you would want to be friends still even if its not an invitation to get back together. I hope that helps x
Original post by jagermeisterrr
I'm a 20-year-old guy who's really into sports and happens to be 6 feet 3 inches tall, which naturally draws the attention of many girls. I want to make it clear that I'm fully committed to my current relationship, and I have no intentions of being unfaithful.
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted for a year. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and has put a lot of effort into planning special birthday surprises for me in just 10 days. However, it's important for me to be honest and admit that my emotional investment in this relationship has changed over time. The initial intensity of love seems to have lessened.
She's made a significant effort to plan these birthday surprises, including the possibility of a holiday. I genuinely value her as a friend and will always care about her. However, I'm not ready to fully commit to a long-term romantic relationship at this point. My primary focus is on my academic pursuits and maintaining my physical fitness. I'm also curious about exploring life and experiencing relationships with other individuals, rather than rushing into a long-term commitment, especially since my body count is 1 and i want to have some "fun" before i settle down.
I've made attempts to end the relationship a few times over the past month, but I've struggled to follow through, which has caused confusion and emotional turmoil for both of us. She refused to leave my room and pretended to be asleep, making it challenging for me to figure out the next steps. Eventually, I had to ask her to leave, and things became quite intense. She's aware that I've changed, and I'm not the same person I once was in this relationship. I'm at a point where I'm uncertain about whether to end it or not. I don't have any other potential romantic interests lined up; I just want to regain my personal freedom. Additionally, this relationship has become demanding, and I'm unsure about my feelings.
I want to end it, but I'm torn between two choices, which suggests that I probably should end it. However, I'm afraid of regretting the decision. I'm a naturally indecisive person, and it's difficult for me to be 100% sure. I could really use some advice, please.
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted for a year. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and has put a lot of effort into planning special birthday surprises for me in just 10 days. However, it's important for me to be honest and admit that my emotional investment in this relationship has changed over time. The initial intensity of love seems to have lessened.
She's made a significant effort to plan these birthday surprises, including the possibility of a holiday. I genuinely value her as a friend and will always care about her. However, I'm not ready to fully commit to a long-term romantic relationship at this point. My primary focus is on my academic pursuits and maintaining my physical fitness. I'm also curious about exploring life and experiencing relationships with other individuals, rather than rushing into a long-term commitment, especially since my body count is 1 and i want to have some "fun" before i settle down.
I've made attempts to end the relationship a few times over the past month, but I've struggled to follow through, which has caused confusion and emotional turmoil for both of us. She refused to leave my room and pretended to be asleep, making it challenging for me to figure out the next steps. Eventually, I had to ask her to leave, and things became quite intense. She's aware that I've changed, and I'm not the same person I once was in this relationship. I'm at a point where I'm uncertain about whether to end it or not. I don't have any other potential romantic interests lined up; I just want to regain my personal freedom. Additionally, this relationship has become demanding, and I'm unsure about my feelings.
I want to end it, but I'm torn between two choices, which suggests that I probably should end it. However, I'm afraid of regretting the decision. I'm a naturally indecisive person, and it's difficult for me to be 100% sure. I could really use some advice, please.
Don't end it. It’s really hard to find a gem in this modern world. Don't lose out on a great woman for frivolous fun that would be meaningless afterwards.
If you don't love her anymore, then move on. However, make sure that you are clear on your plan. The streets are cold and ruthless. Good luck.
Original post by Faultybot
As your torn between what to choose, you should choose what is best for her. As you seem to be having doubts want to have fun in your life. It's best to break up with her and let her move on to someone who is willing to give her commitment and time.
She can sense something wrong and she doesn't know what to do to make you happy, but you don't want to commit to one person.
You could go on a break but doesn't mean she will be there for you in the future.
She can sense something wrong and she doesn't know what to do to make you happy, but you don't want to commit to one person.
You could go on a break but doesn't mean she will be there for you in the future.
Her body count is like 30 and she knows I am the one for her . Not to be big headed but in easy words. She literally "worships me". I know she'll still be there.
Original post by Anonymous
I've kind of been where you are and honestly I think you should follow through and end the relationship because your mind and heart isn't in it anymore. You might regret it in the future but you might not and that is something for you to discover and realise, but it is unfair on your partner and you to stay in this relationship when you do not have the same level of commitment and extent of feelings you used to have. My longest relationship was about 2 years and I had similar issues where I knew he loved me and he took good care of me and I valued him and our relationship but I noticed that over time it felt like we were more friends/roommates rather than romantic partners when he stopped actively dating me. I did try to reignite that spark in the relationship because the honeymoon phase fades over time, but it is important to be investing that time and effort into the relationship to stop it from feeling one sided. We went back and forth discussing topics of breaking up when I brought up my concerns but being unsure about my feelings and afraid of possible regret we stayed together. After a couple months it became clearer that there was a lot I had to work on myself before committing to a long term relationship and dragging him along my self-discovery would be painful and unfair on him. Its been about two months since we've broken up now and I don't regret the decision. I still do love him but love isn't enough for two people to be compatible dating each other, and we're still good friends. He understands why we broke up even though it hurt his feelings which is valid considering the length of our relationship. If you think this is what's best for you and you clearly have put significant thought into it then its time to break up with her. Pretending to be asleep and not leaving the room and avoiding the breakup isnt the answer and yes the confusion is hurtful because it is dragging along this process which is slowly breaking down the relationship, I think maybe be firm with her in telling her what you want and why and cut things off - if space helps then some time apart would be good for both of you and then after making it clear that you would want to be friends still even if its not an invitation to get back together. I hope that helps x
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by jagermeisterrr
Her body count is like 30 and she knows I am the one for her . Not to be big headed but in easy words. She literally "worships me". I know she'll still be there.
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
Her body count is 30? I thought it would have been 1 like you. Nah, bro. You know what to do.
Make sure you end it after your birthday. Else, you will be forever hated by her for her efforts.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by jagermeisterrr
Her body count is like 30 and she knows I am the one for her . Not to be big headed but in easy words. She literally "worships me". I know she'll still be there.
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
30 body count is crazzzyyy bro, trust me it aint gonna work out long-term, if you marry her, there's high chances she will eventually lose interest in you in like 5-10 years and go out to explore. Aint attacking her character but then again if you got a body count of 30 that's what will eventually happens.
Original post by jagermeisterrr
Her body count is like 30 and she knows I am the one for her . Not to be big headed but in easy words. She literally "worships me". I know she'll still be there.
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
Do I end it asap or after my birthday idk I don't want to hurt her I just want to be friends.
I'm not sure if this is still relevant since its been 2 months but I would say from my previous advice, she probably understands where you'd be coming from in the wanting to explore side of things. I'm still single and my ex and I are on good terms, the single life is a bit different but I think I'm enjoying the overall experience. Don't get me wrong my ex and I still randomly have disagreements but we resolve it within the day and that comes with trying to be friends with a previous partner when you're exploring the single life I guess.
As a woman I'd say before your birthday just so she doesn't feel like you took the gifts or all her preparation and then broke up with her after, and breakup asap but I hope you're doing good.
Original post by Anonymous #1
I'm not sure if this is still relevant since its been 2 months but I would say from my previous advice, she probably understands where you'd be coming from in the wanting to explore side of things. I'm still single and my ex and I are on good terms, the single life is a bit different but I think I'm enjoying the overall experience. Don't get me wrong my ex and I still randomly have disagreements but we resolve it within the day and that comes with trying to be friends with a previous partner when you're exploring the single life I guess.
As a woman I'd say before your birthday just so she doesn't feel like you took the gifts or all her preparation and then broke up with her after, and breakup asap but I hope you're doing good.
As a woman I'd say before your birthday just so she doesn't feel like you took the gifts or all her preparation and then broke up with her after, and breakup asap but I hope you're doing good.
Haha still with her and I've broke up with her twice since and got back both times. She's a nice girl it's just I think I need to be single for abit and learn the hard way. I'm not sure tho. We get on well 1 on 1 but she's been toxic in the past but she's trying to be better. My family don't like her and my friends don't like her cos of things in the past. She's trying to become better but I wish she actually wasn't so it is easy for me to leave. Idk what to do just got back with her a day ago after a breakup that lasted a day and now I'm thinking of doing it again FFS
Original post by jagermeisterrr
Haha still with her and I've broke up with her twice since and got back both times. She's a nice girl it's just I think I need to be single for abit and learn the hard way. I'm not sure tho. We get on well 1 on 1 but she's been toxic in the past but she's trying to be better. My family don't like her and my friends don't like her cos of things in the past. She's trying to become better but I wish she actually wasn't so it is easy for me to leave. Idk what to do just got back with her a day ago after a breakup that lasted a day and now I'm thinking of doing it again FFS
You need to put a date down and give yourself time if you want to be commited in the relationship after you have had your fun. If you say you give yourself 6 months of being single and she is there waiting for you then good for you, but if not and you still don't have mutual feelings its best to move on. Feelings fade it may come back in the future but it's not right at this time.
I'm quite sure that you will regret it in the future if you end up with her right now. Obviously, the feeling changes over time because the powerful feeling decreases over time and gets more tedious. This is the same for every couple, but it's always whether you can take this change as the chance to show the 'real' yourself to each other and become a stronger couple or break up by misunderstanding the chance as the ending sign. Like scientifically, it is an obvious and natural thing that your feelings change through hormonal changes.
I also get that you want to enjoy more before you settle down, but if the 'fun' you meant is only 'having sex with many other different people', I don't think it is a very necessary pursuit. (If you didn't mean this kind of enjoyment, apologise.) And you wrote that you want to explore the world- I cannot find any reason why being in a committed relationship can be an obstacle. I promise you that you can explore the world even with a broader perspective if you have the journey with your partner. I understand that you want to explore many other things, but trying to maintain a romantic relationship and genuinely love someone is one of the most valuable lessons, which is better if you know when you're young.
And we're just really small existences in this big world without someone's love, so try to be grateful to your girlfriend who is giving you love. Try harder, than you will learn.
Wish you the best.
I also get that you want to enjoy more before you settle down, but if the 'fun' you meant is only 'having sex with many other different people', I don't think it is a very necessary pursuit. (If you didn't mean this kind of enjoyment, apologise.) And you wrote that you want to explore the world- I cannot find any reason why being in a committed relationship can be an obstacle. I promise you that you can explore the world even with a broader perspective if you have the journey with your partner. I understand that you want to explore many other things, but trying to maintain a romantic relationship and genuinely love someone is one of the most valuable lessons, which is better if you know when you're young.
And we're just really small existences in this big world without someone's love, so try to be grateful to your girlfriend who is giving you love. Try harder, than you will learn.
Wish you the best.
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