My ex boyfriend wants to go to a gynecologist appointment with me.Not sure what to do

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, it was due to a fight and I reacted extremely bad and caused a scene. I was upset because he was showing a lot of distrust against me. He was acting very controlling and the night we broke up, it was because I was at a bar with a female friend and he didn’t believe me and showed up there with a terrible attitude. I know I shouldn’t have acted like that but I was really drunk. I have apologized a lot of times, I have asked him for a second chance and he says he can be my friend but only that. But he has also tried to sleep with me since the breakup so I’m not sure if he really wants to be my friend. The first time that we saw each other after the breakup he insisted for about 1 hour until I gave in. Even though we broke up, sometimes he still acts possessive of me, he asked me if I have been with someone because I had bruises on my legs, 3 weeks ago I was out with friends and he asked me to send him a photo of where I was. I still feel very guilty for the breakup so I know that I’m vulnerable. I have tried to fix things but he doesn’t want it. He says that he can only be my friend (I don’t even know why I want to fix things). This week I have an appointment with my gynecologist because he is going to put me the Mirena (the IUD that prevents pregnancy) he knows about this because I told him about that before we broke up and now he has offered twice to go with me. I don’t know what to think because he is being nice, he wants to be my friend but at the same time I know he has been controlling on the past. Could be possible that he is just trying to be nice and be supportive?

Reply 1

3catsinacoat

4

Given his history of control, I very much doubt he's being supportive. Also, usually when someone wants to be friends after a breakup it means that they want your attention without having to be committed. And obviously I cant tell based on just one post, but it seems as though your relationship was not the healthiest and I suggest that you try to move on, especially if he's made it clear that he doesn't want to fix things, which likely includes ending the friendship - however, if you want him to be present at your appointments then that's your choice, but please do not allow him to do something you're uncomfortable with - I apologise if this may be difficult to hear, but many others have been in a similar situation and even though its difficult at first it always gets better for them :smile:

Best of luck to you

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 2

StriderHort

21

Hard to believe this is a serious question and you aren't well aware of what this person sounds like.

Reply 3

ageshallnot

21

This ^

You're a fool if you let him.

You do realise he's only offering to go to see if you really get it done, right? He's thinking about how this impacts him, e.g. "We don't have to use condoms anymore" or "this is proof she intends to sleep around" - it has absolutely nothing to do with trying to be a nice person.

Just tell him no.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 5

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Q) Should my ex accompany me to get an IUD fitted?
A) No. No they should not.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I agree with the people above in saying that - No you should not let him come with you. However, I know that saying no may not be as simple as that.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where he has persuaded you to let him come with you please consider reaching out to someone at your gynecologist's office for some support.
The doctor should be able to refuse him entry into the room if that is what you wish, they will likely be very polite and ask him to wait outside.

If you feel like you are struggling with issues like this - lack of control in a relationship. Please have a look at some of the support and links I have left below. You do not need to answer to anyone, he is not your boyfriend anymore and your opinions and wants should be respected.

https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/im-not-sure-if-my-relationship-is-healthy/

I hope the implementation goes well and you manage to navigate through this time. Please ask someone for help if you feel you need it x

Reply 7

studenther

11

Original post by Milaa_

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, it was due to a fight and I reacted extremely bad and caused a scene. I was upset because he was showing a lot of distrust against me. He was acting very controlling and the night we broke up, it was because I was at a bar with a female friend and he didn’t believe me and showed up there with a terrible attitude. I know I shouldn’t have acted like that but I was really drunk. I have apologized a lot of times, I have asked him for a second chance and he says he can be my friend but only that. But he has also tried to sleep with me since the breakup so I’m not sure if he really wants to be my friend. The first time that we saw each other after the breakup he insisted for about 1 hour until I gave in. Even though we broke up, sometimes he still acts possessive of me, he asked me if I have been with someone because I had bruises on my legs, 3 weeks ago I was out with friends and he asked me to send him a photo of where I was. I still feel very guilty for the breakup so I know that I’m vulnerable. I have tried to fix things but he doesn’t want it. He says that he can only be my friend (I don’t even know why I want to fix things). This week I have an appointment with my gynecologist because he is going to put me the Mirena (the IUD that prevents pregnancy) he knows about this because I told him about that before we broke up and now he has offered twice to go with me. I don’t know what to think because he is being nice, he wants to be my friend but at the same time I know he has been controlling on the past. Could be possible that he is just trying to be nice and be supportive?

no way. i think you should block him. from my perspective this sounds scary. he seems like to type to be a stalker which can have SERIOUS consequences.

My ex boyfriend wants to go to a gynecologist appointment with me.Not sure what to do

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