Am I paranoid?

I don't know whether this is a good idea or if frankly anyone will see this but here goes nothing:

For context, I am a fairly social person and try to talk to as many people as possible. In the past, I had generally poor social skills but I believe that has improved over the years through attending events, clubs and parties where I get to meet a lot of people and have a fairly large friend group. The issue is I feel most of my relationships can be short-lived. However recently it feels more hard to keep up connections with people. I feel like it's hard to reply to even texts or how to respond in conversations to the point that I am overthinking whether I was too much for the other person, whether I text them enough or too little, or even if I am being interesting enough. Sometimes, it is so overwhelming to reply to people that I physically can not bring myself to do so and I feel so guilty. The other case I feel like I have to compensate and over reply to a person. Because of this, I feel like people are angry at me which makes it harder for me to maintain relationships.Its become so stressful for me and I feel like I'm being too paranoid but I do not know what to do or whether there is something inherently wrong with me?

Could someone please give some advice, thanks :frown:

Reply 1

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hi there.

Try not to worry, this sort of thing is actually more common than you might think.

Your friends and relationships are built on more than just your online/text connections. I know the guilty feeling of not replying to people. I tend to not reply to my friends when I'm feeling stressed about work or uni, but when I do reply I let my friends know that I simply didn't reply as I was feeling out of sorts. I like to be upfront about it so that my friends know that my lack of contact is not caused by them, it's just me and my situation.

I would try to shift your mindset on how you're feeling. Instead of thinking that not replying is damaging your friendships, you could try to see it as a way of thinking about yourself and looking after your wellbeing. If it feels overwhelming to keep up with replying, then you should look after your own feelings and take some time away from your messages.

But I would definitely recommend reaching out to your closer friends and try to let them know how you're feeling so that they feel reassured that you're okay and you're not ignoring them intentionally.

I hope this helps reassure you a bit, and remember to take it easy on yourself!
Emily
Student Ambassador at BCU