Am I aro, ace, or both

Hiya! Aspec lesbian here!

From what you’re describing, that sounds pretty ace to me one thing to consider, though: is it just p and v that repulses you? or is v and v the same? I only mention it because that’s something I got hung up on for a long time haha!! The disconnect between sex and intimacy does read as very ace though, so I’m fairly certain you’re on the right lines)

From your descriptions I also think you’re unlikely to be aro because you’re fine with making out and emotional closeness etc etc, but that’s always harder to tell. It depends where you draw the line between platonic and romantic bonds, I guess!

that makes you (possibly) alloromantic and asexual! yippee!!

Not every aspec experience is the same, and I definitely don’t speak for every aspec person I know. I’m not even sex-repulsed! There’s variety! If you look at the term asexual and think “huh, that explains a lot”, 9/10 you’re probably correct

Welcome to the team!!! 💜

Thank you for that <3 It is all so, so confusing, and there's alot of issues mixed in there bc of my childhood and certain experiences that it's all become quite a confusion soup! I'll def have to talk about this with a professional.

I think it's just generally part of any like... interaction? LOL probs the wrong word, but let's say interaction between genitalia (like someone else's and mine). like I say, the act repulses me, and I think it's in any way that it occurs if u get me.
The other thing is, I don't really like the idea of romantic feelings tbh, it feels too forced for me. idk if i'm capable of feeling them. For me, I think a relationship would look most like basically having a close friend with flirty elements ig? I'd care for them the exact same way I care for my close friends, and would not give them any more than what I'd give close friends. Like the emotional closeness to my partner would be nearly identical to what I'd have with my close friends, only difference being this person is an attractive male who I make out with ig. But then I wouldn't be against doing the same with other guys too, so is this even a partner? Lol I'm so confused about what my boundaries are and if a partner is still a partner within my definition.
I'm quite certain I'm hetero though, because I've only ever found guys attractive. I will think other girls are really pretty, but like not in a way that I'm attracted to them.

So I'm not aro? the reason I thought I am is I struggle to understand the link between sex and love/relationships. Like why is it 'something that couples do' (by and large) and why is it an 'important' element in relationships? Why do couples need to have sex to connect? I just don't get it. Like why can't anyone have sex with anyone and still with their partner if they want and it be normal or just not have sex if they want that? I don't quite understand why it's 'special' between a couple or the jealousy around doing it with others (I'd understand the jealousy if it was like your partner is doing it only with others and not you but bar that I don't see why it's any different to, say, going to the movies or idk like doing drugs lol, with someone else). Then again, I'm probs just not a jealous person. The only way I'd be upset is if my partner was icing me out or blowing me off keeping secrets from only me (like opening up to everyone but me) and stuff like that (which is also the same stuff I'd be upset by from friends so...)

Ahh oops! based on what you said here, yeah that does sound a lot more aro actually 😅 sorry if that was confusing haha! aroace it is 💜 I hope this was helpful to you; putting it all in words really puts things into perspective. I hope you can find people in your area to bond over this with, or at least some friends online