uni life
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Original post by Anonymous
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Man, I truly feel sorry you have to go through this. Yh those people seem really **** and I don't blame you for not liking them. Is there a way to talk to someone at UNI face-to-face about the possibility of changing flats? Try to find some help and don't feel scared. Tell them the truth of how you've felt for the past few weeks and try to make them understand, because if it's gotten to the point of you missing dinners, then it's gone too far. You deserve to have a happy and healthy lifestyle at UNI, and those people are ruining it for you. Don't constantly take in their **** and be brave and speak up. There must be someone on campus to help you out with your situation.
P.S. update me on this thread because I'm genuinely worried about you and your situation. You don't deserve this. I hope you get the support you need.
Original post by Nice_100
Man, I truly feel sorry you have to go through this. Yh those people seem really **** and I don't blame you for not liking them. Is there a way to talk to someone at UNI face-to-face about the possibility of changing flats? Try to find some help and don't feel scared. Tell them the truth of how you've felt for the past few weeks and try to make them understand, because if it's gotten to the point of you missing dinners, then it's gone too far. You deserve to have a happy and healthy lifestyle at UNI, and those people are ruining it for you. Don't constantly take in their **** and be brave and speak up. There must be someone on campus to help you out with your situation.
P.S. update me on this thread because I'm genuinely worried about you and your situation. You don't deserve this. I hope you get the support you need.
P.S. update me on this thread because I'm genuinely worried about you and your situation. You don't deserve this. I hope you get the support you need.
ah please dont worry about me, i would hate to cause that.
Yeah my flatmates suck aha, one of them is okay and we get on well, he doesn't tend to come out his room so we chat in the evenings if they go out. He helps me out alot like keeping an eye on my stuff when i went home this past weekend etc.
I was going to start looking around for people who would want to swap rooms as that is a much quicker process, so i may post on the halls facebook or something. I did find a girl who wanted to swap with me but she never replied after a while so im guessing she changed her mind. I also was going to maybe talk to the wellbeing team and see if they can hurry things alot at all
In the grand scheme of things my flat isnt too bad - just not great. I know of people who have it worse than me
Thanks for the concern though, i appriciate someone listening to me - my family and friends at home do know whats going on but i dont tell them all of it as i dont want them to worry at all
Original post by Anonymous
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Hey there!
I totally get it, starting university can be tough and making friends isn't always a walk in the park. But don't worry, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Many students go through similar experiences, especially in the first year.
It sounds like you've already made an effort to socialize and attend events, which is awesome! But sometimes, it just takes a bit more time to find your tribe. Remember, friendships aren't built overnight, so don't be too hard on yourself.
As for your flat situation, it can be tricky when you don't click with your flatmates. But hey, living with people you don't vibe with doesn't mean your whole university experience is ruined. It's great that you've requested a flat switch, although I understand it may not happen immediately. In the meantime, try to focus on creating a comfortable space for yourself within your flat. Find activities outside your room that bring you joy and allow you to meet new people. There are plenty of societies and clubs where you can connect with others who share your interests.
And hey, remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your well-being. If being around your flatmates becomes too uncomfortable, consider spending more time in common areas when they're not around, like during their clubbing nights. It's all about finding that balance and creating a space that feels good for you.
Lastly, don't hesitate to reach out to university support services. They're there to help you navigate any challenges you may face, including social situations. They can provide advice and guidance tailored to your specific situation.
Hang in there, friend! You've got this. And remember, university is a journey, and you'll discover so much more about yourself along the way. Keep being your fabulous self, and amazing things will come your way.
Cheers,
Ilya
Original post by De Montfort University
Hey there!
I totally get it, starting university can be tough and making friends isn't always a walk in the park. But don't worry, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Many students go through similar experiences, especially in the first year.
It sounds like you've already made an effort to socialize and attend events, which is awesome! But sometimes, it just takes a bit more time to find your tribe. Remember, friendships aren't built overnight, so don't be too hard on yourself.
As for your flat situation, it can be tricky when you don't click with your flatmates. But hey, living with people you don't vibe with doesn't mean your whole university experience is ruined. It's great that you've requested a flat switch, although I understand it may not happen immediately. In the meantime, try to focus on creating a comfortable space for yourself within your flat. Find activities outside your room that bring you joy and allow you to meet new people. There are plenty of societies and clubs where you can connect with others who share your interests.
And hey, remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your well-being. If being around your flatmates becomes too uncomfortable, consider spending more time in common areas when they're not around, like during their clubbing nights. It's all about finding that balance and creating a space that feels good for you.
Lastly, don't hesitate to reach out to university support services. They're there to help you navigate any challenges you may face, including social situations. They can provide advice and guidance tailored to your specific situation.
Hang in there, friend! You've got this. And remember, university is a journey, and you'll discover so much more about yourself along the way. Keep being your fabulous self, and amazing things will come your way.
Cheers,
Ilya
I totally get it, starting university can be tough and making friends isn't always a walk in the park. But don't worry, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Many students go through similar experiences, especially in the first year.
It sounds like you've already made an effort to socialize and attend events, which is awesome! But sometimes, it just takes a bit more time to find your tribe. Remember, friendships aren't built overnight, so don't be too hard on yourself.
As for your flat situation, it can be tricky when you don't click with your flatmates. But hey, living with people you don't vibe with doesn't mean your whole university experience is ruined. It's great that you've requested a flat switch, although I understand it may not happen immediately. In the meantime, try to focus on creating a comfortable space for yourself within your flat. Find activities outside your room that bring you joy and allow you to meet new people. There are plenty of societies and clubs where you can connect with others who share your interests.
And hey, remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your well-being. If being around your flatmates becomes too uncomfortable, consider spending more time in common areas when they're not around, like during their clubbing nights. It's all about finding that balance and creating a space that feels good for you.
Lastly, don't hesitate to reach out to university support services. They're there to help you navigate any challenges you may face, including social situations. They can provide advice and guidance tailored to your specific situation.
Hang in there, friend! You've got this. And remember, university is a journey, and you'll discover so much more about yourself along the way. Keep being your fabulous self, and amazing things will come your way.
Cheers,
Ilya
such a helpful reply, thank you so much!!
Original post by Anonymous
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Hi there, I am sorry to hear about your situation. You did the right thing in reaching out to your University's team for support. Hopefully you will hear from them soon, and they can arrange something for you.
It is perfectly normal not to be good friends with your flatmates and choose not to hang around them. I understand the feeling of not sharing the kitchen at the same time as them. Whilst you should not have to feel this way, you could always trying to schedule earlier or later meal times? You should not have to skip meals just because of others behaviour. So where it is possible try to cook meals, or maybe getting take away or cooking at a friend's may help?
I understand that is difficult to make friends at University, but it is good to hear that you are trying out socials and making an effort.
You could also try to speak to any classmates from lectures and seminars. I would also recommend keeping an eye on the University/ student union's social media page for any events that you could attend. Really hope this situation improves for you soon! Keep talking to University services and getting help from them when you feel like you need it. University has just started, and I am sure things will get better. Take care of yourself and good luck!
)Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Anon,
It's awful that you are not having a great experience with your flatmates. Is there any reason why you think they might have changed/ be so funny with you?
Your safety and wellbeing is paramount, so do keep making a fuss about wanting to switch flats. You shouldn't feel harassed in your own accommodation. If you don't want to go clubbing with them, it's your choice. You might just need to make it clear that you are willing to spend time with them (if you are comfortable doing that), but that you are not interested in clubbing.
You also have to eat! Whether you store some food in your room that you can eat if you feel really uncomfortable. or whether you grab food from the kitchen that doesn't require you to spend a long time cooking, you have to look after your health. Remember you are paying rent (I assume a considerable amount, so you should definitely make use of the kitchen facilities). It's also good to eat hot food especially as it gets colder.
Hope you can switch flats soon!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
(edited 5 months ago)
Original post by University of Huddersfield
Anon,
It's awful that you are not having a great experience with your flatmates. Is there any reason why you think they might have changed/ be so funny with you?
Your safety and you're wellbeing is paramount, so do keep making a fuss about wanting to switch flats. You shouldn't feel harassed in your own accommodation. If you don't want to go clubbing with them, it's your choice. You might just need to make it clear that you are willing to spend time with them (if you are comfortable doing that), but that you are not interested in clubbing.
You also have to eat! Whether you store some food in your room that you can eat if you feel really uncomfortable. or whether you grab food from the kitchen that doesn't require you to spend a long time cooking, you have to look after your health. Remember you are paying rent (I assume a considerable amount, so you should definitely make use of the kitchen facilities). It's also good to eat hot food especially as it gets colder.
Hope you can switch flats soon!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
It's awful that you are not having a great experience with your flatmates. Is there any reason why you think they might have changed/ be so funny with you?
Your safety and you're wellbeing is paramount, so do keep making a fuss about wanting to switch flats. You shouldn't feel harassed in your own accommodation. If you don't want to go clubbing with them, it's your choice. You might just need to make it clear that you are willing to spend time with them (if you are comfortable doing that), but that you are not interested in clubbing.
You also have to eat! Whether you store some food in your room that you can eat if you feel really uncomfortable. or whether you grab food from the kitchen that doesn't require you to spend a long time cooking, you have to look after your health. Remember you are paying rent (I assume a considerable amount, so you should definitely make use of the kitchen facilities). It's also good to eat hot food especially as it gets colder.
Hope you can switch flats soon!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Hi there,I got a call from the residential life team yesterday and i have a match for somebody who would like to swap!! They would like to move into a more social flat (mine) and i would like to move into a quiter flat (theirs). A date to view eachothers flats is some point next week so hopefully it goes well !!Thank you for all your advice, your words encouraged me to email the accom team and sort it🙂
Original post by University of Kent
Hi there, I am sorry to hear about your situation. You did the right thing in reaching out to your University's team for support. Hopefully you will hear from them soon, and they can arrange something for you.
It is perfectly normal not to be good friends with your flatmates and choose not to hang around them. I understand the feeling of not sharing the kitchen at the same time as them. Whilst you should not have to feel this way, you could always trying to schedule earlier or later meal times? You should not have to skip meals just because of others behaviour. So where it is possible try to cook meals, or maybe getting take away or cooking at a friend's may help?
I understand that is difficult to make friends at University, but it is good to hear that you are trying out socials and making an effort. You could also try to speak to any classmates from lectures and seminars. I would also recommend keeping an eye on the University/ student union's social media page for any events that you could attend.
Really hope this situation improves for you soon! Keep talking to University services and getting help from them when you feel like you need it. University has just started, and I am sure things will get better. Take care of yourself and good luck!)
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
It is perfectly normal not to be good friends with your flatmates and choose not to hang around them. I understand the feeling of not sharing the kitchen at the same time as them. Whilst you should not have to feel this way, you could always trying to schedule earlier or later meal times? You should not have to skip meals just because of others behaviour. So where it is possible try to cook meals, or maybe getting take away or cooking at a friend's may help?
I understand that is difficult to make friends at University, but it is good to hear that you are trying out socials and making an effort.
You could also try to speak to any classmates from lectures and seminars. I would also recommend keeping an eye on the University/ student union's social media page for any events that you could attend. Really hope this situation improves for you soon! Keep talking to University services and getting help from them when you feel like you need it. University has just started, and I am sure things will get better. Take care of yourself and good luck!
)Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Hi there,I got a call from the residential life team yesterday and i have a match for somebody who would like to swap!! They would like to move into a more social flat (mine) and i would like to move into a quiter flat (theirs). A date to view eachothers flats is some point next week so hopefully it goes well !!
I did also take your advice and adjust meal times a little and stuff and that really helped thankyou !
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there,I got a call from the residential life team yesterday and i have a match for somebody who would like to swap!! They would like to move into a more social flat (mine) and i would like to move into a quiter flat (theirs). A date to view eachothers flats is some point next week so hopefully it goes well !!
I did also take your advice and adjust meal times a little and stuff and that really helped thankyou !
I did also take your advice and adjust meal times a little and stuff and that really helped thankyou !
This is great news. I really hope the switch happens for you and that it enhances your university experience and makes you happier.
Original post by Anonymous
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with the settling-in period in university.
It's completely normal not to bond with everyone in your flat but if it is starting to have a negative impact on your life, I'd continue to contact the accommodation office about a flat transfer. I'd also flag with them that there have been incidents such as the trying to enter your room without your permission as this is an invasion of your privacy and space and should not have to be tolerated.
I would recommend that you try and attend some societies or clubs within your university to try and find a different way of socialising and making new friends. Not all socialising has to involve clubbing and joining a society of something you are interested in will firstly help you make friends with like-minded people but secondly, also get you out of the flat every so often and away from the negative environment in your flat.
I would also advise to try and make some socialising outings with people on your course as you will spend so much time with them while in university and you'll all rely on each other to support each other throughout the 3/4 years of studying.
I hope you get your flat transfer soon and that things start to become easier for you!
Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep (3rd-year Children's Nursing)
(edited 5 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there,I got a call from the residential life team yesterday and i have a match for somebody who would like to swap!! They would like to move into a more social flat (mine) and i would like to move into a quiter flat (theirs). A date to view eachothers flats is some point next week so hopefully it goes well !!Thank you for all your advice, your words encouraged me to email the accom team and sort it🙂
Anon,
Amazing : )! That's so good to hear!
Hope the flat viewing goes well!!!
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Hello there,
I'm sorry this is happening to you, you should be able to feel comfortable in your living space and I'm sorry this is impacting your first-year experience!
It's great that you have reached out to switch flats. Does MMU provide your accommodation or is it a private flat? I'm hoping they will reply and sort this out for you ASAP. If you still haven't had a reply I would go to reception and request an in-person meeting with someone that has the power to help you out just in case your email has been missed. The situation in the flat is impacting your well-being; you've said you don't feel like making meals in the kitchen because of your peers' behaviours and as a result of this, the accommodation provider should be able to do something to help you out. I'm sure MMU will be able to resolve this for you if the accommodation provider doesn't. Keep your head up and try to surround yourself with things that bring you joy.
In regards to finding friendships at MMU, I'm sure this will happen in time since you're putting yourself out there. Speaking from experience I think the first year makes finding friendships quite difficult since so many people are trying to adapt to their new lives. Keep trying to chat with new people and I hope you find people you connect with. Using TSR is also a great way to find people in the same position 🙂
If your flat situation still hasn't been resolved when you get around to reading this just let me know and I can ask the team what steps can be taken to ensure you feel more comfortable.
I hope this has helped in any way ❤️ .
Student rep, Molly
Original post by Manchester Met - Student Rep
Hello there,
I'm sorry this is happening to you, you should be able to feel comfortable in your living space and I'm sorry this is impacting your first-year experience!
It's great that you have reached out to switch flats. Does MMU provide your accommodation or is it a private flat? I'm hoping they will reply and sort this out for you ASAP. If you still haven't had a reply I would go to reception and request an in-person meeting with someone that has the power to help you out just in case your email has been missed. The situation in the flat is impacting your well-being; you've said you don't feel like making meals in the kitchen because of your peers' behaviours and as a result of this, the accommodation provider should be able to do something to help you out. I'm sure MMU will be able to resolve this for you if the accommodation provider doesn't. Keep your head up and try to surround yourself with things that bring you joy.
In regards to finding friendships at MMU, I'm sure this will happen in time since you're putting yourself out there. Speaking from experience I think the first year makes finding friendships quite difficult since so many people are trying to adapt to their new lives. Keep trying to chat with new people and I hope you find people you connect with. Using TSR is also a great way to find people in the same position 🙂
If your flat situation still hasn't been resolved when you get around to reading this just let me know and I can ask the team what steps can be taken to ensure you feel more comfortable.
I hope this has helped in any way ❤️ .
Student rep, Molly
I'm sorry this is happening to you, you should be able to feel comfortable in your living space and I'm sorry this is impacting your first-year experience!
It's great that you have reached out to switch flats. Does MMU provide your accommodation or is it a private flat? I'm hoping they will reply and sort this out for you ASAP. If you still haven't had a reply I would go to reception and request an in-person meeting with someone that has the power to help you out just in case your email has been missed. The situation in the flat is impacting your well-being; you've said you don't feel like making meals in the kitchen because of your peers' behaviours and as a result of this, the accommodation provider should be able to do something to help you out. I'm sure MMU will be able to resolve this for you if the accommodation provider doesn't. Keep your head up and try to surround yourself with things that bring you joy.
In regards to finding friendships at MMU, I'm sure this will happen in time since you're putting yourself out there. Speaking from experience I think the first year makes finding friendships quite difficult since so many people are trying to adapt to their new lives. Keep trying to chat with new people and I hope you find people you connect with. Using TSR is also a great way to find people in the same position 🙂
If your flat situation still hasn't been resolved when you get around to reading this just let me know and I can ask the team what steps can be taken to ensure you feel more comfortable.
I hope this has helped in any way ❤️ .
Student rep, Molly
Hi there,
I had a call from the res life team last Wednesday and they found somebody to swap with me! we had flat viewing booked for thursday but i had to cancel as i forgot i had something else on at that time aha but i emailed and they said it was okay and a new flat viewing time would be arranged for this week. Havent heard anymore since then but it is only monday so hopefully they get in touch soon and hopefully it all works out okay soon
Thank you for your reply, i appreciate it!!
Original post by Anonymous #1
hi there,
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
im currently in my first year at a uni in manchester and i have been finding it alot harder than i expected. I havent really made any friends even though i have been putting myself out there and going to social events, however that doesnt bother me so much as i am a fairly quiet and introverted person anyway.
What has been bothering me most is my flat. I am struggling with my uni flat, i spent alot of time with my flatmates during freshers and went out with them alot and they sort of included me, however i sort of just didnt click with them and ended up essentially dissapearing. I havent spoken or seen many of them since over a month ago. I was fine with not being besties with them but more recently it has started to become an issue. There have been multiple incidences of them trying my door and trying to get in my room - some when they have been drinking and some not. another time where i walked past a girl from my flat and another girl who does not live in my flat but is pretty much constantly there and i said hi to them and they proceeded to look at me, ignore me and then give me the dirtiest look i have ever seen. there have been a few other incidents as well that have made me very uncomfortable in the flat. I have put in a request to swtich flats as i would much rather be in a flat that is quiter and isnt as busy and noisy, however my situation isnt that bad compared to many so the chances of me moving anytime soon are slim. I avoid going in the kitchen etc when they are all around due to this and therefore have missed dinners and not eaten because i feel too uncomfortable. My favourite time is when they all go out clubbing because it means i can go into the kitchen without worrying that i will see them all.
Trying to talk them essentially wouldnt work at this point , as they dont really have much respect for anybody.
Is anybody else experiencing this or have any advice?
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear you are finding the start of university hard. I personally found the first year of uni really hard as well and it can be tricky to make friends.
It can be really hard when you don't click well with your flatmates, a flat switch is a good idea.
I would recommend joining some societies and trying to find people who like similar things to you or have similar hobbies.
I hope this helps,
Ellen
Med Student
Uni of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Sgul no campus
- Study
- True Reason for being at Uni.
- Which russel group universities have the best social life?
- What uni should I choose (physics)
- Social Life at University, Norm or Exception?
- What’s student life like in Cardiff?
- Social life/ parties at KCL
- Which unis have the best work-life balance?
- What is Durham university like?
- Uni life
- London Unis from Hertfordshire
- UCL audiology VS CITY UNI OF LONDON optometry
- Help! Uni of Leeds vs Uni of Manchester
- idk what to w life
- Stressed
- University choices
- Manchester Metropolitan University or University of Liverpool?
- University of Liverpool or City, University of London
- lse or imperial
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
