I really don’t know what to do. It seems like everyone around me has somebody to love. My whole life I’ve felt like a third wheel and I’m always walking alone behind a pair, it’s so depressing. I have really gone out my comfort zone by dressing nicely, doing my hair, trying contacts, going to societies that literally make me feel so nervous I wanna throw up- but I do it all in hopes to find someone. Everyday after lesson I catch up on coursework alone on a table by myself watching others laugh with someone they love around me. It really feels like my heart is torn up. I am so dependent on others- so it’s ironic that I’m the only one without a partner. I fantasise about making him breakfast in the mornings, hugging him and cute dates. Drawing him pictures and love letters. I literally taught myself how to bake so I could do it for the future one I love. I’m a master at baking chocolate chip cookies now. But I end up eating the whole tray to myself because I have no guy to give them to. It’s come to the point where I can’t watch movies or shows that have love in it. I can’t listen to love songs or see others display affection in front of me- or I’ll quite literally break down in tears. It’s really hard. I’m already 19 and I don’t even have close friends let alone a partner. It’s a horrifying thought. I want to marry young and find him soon. I think the reason why no one would like me, is because I’m quite shy and maybe a little bit awkward. I think guys don’t really like me all that much. I’m not much of a ***** either. I’m so tired of feeling like I don’t exist to people (other than family.) I don’t know. Should I stop forcing it to happen by attending societies and events that I don’t like? What should I do? Do I let things happen naturally? But how does that even work? I’m scared, and I’m really stuck… thanks