The Student Room Group

Struggling with uni

Hi I started uni in September doing adult nursing at the moment I am only in Wednesday Thursday and it is about an 1 hour journey back to where I live so I come home pretty much every week see my friends and work i feel I am not settled into uni as I never want to return I have made some friends but none of them I feel are close friends I feel everyone has already formed close friends with people and I haven’t yet. I had some mutual friends that came to the same uni from back where I live and have become very good friends with them but I feel bad for clinging to people who I already kinda knew.

I struggle to do the work related to my course I find it hard to actually sit down and do work I feel having a gap year has made me lose motivation and I think it’s also because I feel I am in a situation where I need to be socialising so I enjoy the whole experience so the work gets pushed aside. I had a full time job during my gap year and I miss having to get up and go to work eating healthy and going to the gym regularly I domt have the motivation to do Those things anymore I’m just not sure I’ve made the right decision I really wanted to come and start my career have a new experience but I am really in two minds about whether I enjoy it or whether it is holding me back and I really don’t like it
Original post by miawez123
Hi I started uni in September doing adult nursing at the moment I am only in Wednesday Thursday and it is about an 1 hour journey back to where I live so I come home pretty much every week see my friends and work i feel I am not settled into uni as I never want to return I have made some friends but none of them I feel are close friends I feel everyone has already formed close friends with people and I haven’t yet. I had some mutual friends that came to the same uni from back where I live and have become very good friends with them but I feel bad for clinging to people who I already kinda knew.

I struggle to do the work related to my course I find it hard to actually sit down and do work I feel having a gap year has made me lose motivation and I think it’s also because I feel I am in a situation where I need to be socialising so I enjoy the whole experience so the work gets pushed aside. I had a full time job during my gap year and I miss having to get up and go to work eating healthy and going to the gym regularly I domt have the motivation to do Those things anymore I’m just not sure I’ve made the right decision I really wanted to come and start my career have a new experience but I am really in two minds about whether I enjoy it or whether it is holding me back and I really don’t like it

Hey @miawez123 :smile:

Starting university is such a big change, so my advice is to just take it one step at a time. It can be hard to get back into a routine, but I'm sure you'll find a new routine that works really well for you. Getting up early to study, going to the gym regularly again would be really beneficial, just try start by setting your alarm early for a couple weeks and get used to that again, then you can look at joining the gym and getting back into the routine of this, can you start factoring in time to go study at a library near you before or after the gym and have this 'set time' of when to go? People say it takes 21 days to form a new habit so if you start now I'm sure you'll be back in a better routine in no time! 🙂

Perhaps you can ask your friends who came to the same uni or some people on your course if they want to study together, maybe your uni library has group study rooms? I know some people find it more motivating to work alongside their friends, then you could even ask these course mates if they wanted to go grab a coffee or go for a walk after studying.

Is there any clubs or societies you can join? Or how about looking into some volunteering work through the uni or becoming a student ambassador? These are great ways of making friends, alongside any student union trips, university events etc. Friends come into your life at so many different stages, so don't give up hope, I'm sure you'll make some really close friendships soon :smile:

With you saying you struggle doing work related to your course, is there any academic support you can get at your uni? I remember going to academic advisors during my final year to look over essays and my dissertation so that might be worth looking into! I think just remind yourself of why you chose adult nursing and why you wanted to go to university, what are your career goals, was there any skills you really wanted to develop, things you wanted to achieve? Remind yourself of these things and it could just help you feel that bit more motivated.

Good luck with everything, I know it can be daunting and scary, but adjusting to uni life and finding a routine and making new friendships is a process! Give yourself some more time to adapt :smile:

Becky
Original post by miawez123
Hi I started uni in September doing adult nursing at the moment I am only in Wednesday Thursday and it is about an 1 hour journey back to where I live so I come home pretty much every week see my friends and work i feel I am not settled into uni as I never want to return I have made some friends but none of them I feel are close friends I feel everyone has already formed close friends with people and I haven’t yet. I had some mutual friends that came to the same uni from back where I live and have become very good friends with them but I feel bad for clinging to people who I already kinda knew.

I struggle to do the work related to my course I find it hard to actually sit down and do work I feel having a gap year has made me lose motivation and I think it’s also because I feel I am in a situation where I need to be socialising so I enjoy the whole experience so the work gets pushed aside. I had a full time job during my gap year and I miss having to get up and go to work eating healthy and going to the gym regularly I domt have the motivation to do Those things anymore I’m just not sure I’ve made the right decision I really wanted to come and start my career have a new experience but I am really in two minds about whether I enjoy it or whether it is holding me back and I really don’t like it

Hi! Sorry you're feeling rubbish! This reminds me so much of my uni experience, I'm from Liverpool and went to Lancaster University which was so much quieter and quite isolated on a campus. I felt so so homesick in the first term I used to cry in public lol and went home every weekend. I also took a year out and worked in a solicitors in Liverpool city centre so it felt like a complete change when I went to uni. I had a transfer lined up at the end of first year directly into second year at Uni of Liverpool and was set on moving home, but ended up learning to love Lancaster.

What I will say is I don't think you've given it enough time! I can only go off my experience but after feeling homesick/didn't fit in etc. I made friends and had the best second and third year. I think first year is particularly tough because you don't know anyone properly, you live in halls, the work seems like stress and you're doubting all your decisions. Just give it more time & if you seriously hate it at the end of first year - try and transfer closer to home or just see it as a job and commute in?

Hope you feel better soon!
Sophie @askcareercurator - Instagram

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