The Student Room Group

Gofundme question (very sensitive issue)

Have you ever given money on gofundme to help someone who plans on assisted end of life treatment? I want to donate to a particular person I heard about as I do believe that is the best option for this person. It's just it's a big thing, being part of ending a life and I am hesitating to donate.
Reply 1
Any ideas?
(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 2
Anyone?
It can be a big thing, depending on your thoughts/beliefs about sanctity of life and potential life after death. Personally, I'd never feel comfortable doing it and wouldn't do it unless it was someone in extreme suffering who I knew very closely - but that's just me and years of Catholic school!

Is this someone known to you personally? If so, are they likely to be offended if you don't contribute? And are there other ways you can show your support, given you feel a bit hesitant about this atm?
Reply 4
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
It can be a big thing, depending on your thoughts/beliefs about sanctity of life and potential life after death. Personally, I'd never feel comfortable doing it and wouldn't do it unless it was someone in extreme suffering who I knew very closely - but that's just me and years of Catholic school!

Is this someone known to you personally? If so, are they likely to be offended if you don't contribute? And are there other ways you can show your support, given you feel a bit hesitant about this atm?

Thank you so much for your reply and your thoughts. I am not at all religious and don't believe in god or an afterlife but I do admire people's beliefs in many cases and I can see how it adds to their lives and makes them kinder and more able to forgive.

I don't know the person at all, I just read about their story online. They are in pain constantly and cannot even listen to music or have people too close to them, even the light is painful. There is more to it also, but I don't want to say too much as it's hard to hear about.

Whether I donate or not, her plans will still go ahead. My donation is just to make it all a bit easier on her and her family and for her to reach her target amount sooner. But still, I would have had a hand in the biggest kind of moral issue...Anyway thanks again for your reply
Original post by debussydream
Thank you so much for your reply and your thoughts. I am not at all religious and don't believe in god or an afterlife but I do admire people's beliefs in many cases and I can see how it adds to their lives and makes them kinder and more able to forgive.

I don't know the person at all, I just read about their story online. They are in pain constantly and cannot even listen to music or have people too close to them, even the light is painful. There is more to it also, but I don't want to say too much as it's hard to hear about.

Whether I donate or not, her plans will still go ahead. My donation is just to make it all a bit easier on her and her family and for her to reach her target amount sooner. But still, I would have had a hand in the biggest kind of moral issue...Anyway thanks again for your reply

Ah OK, wasn't sure if it was someone known personally to you or not. Since you're not religious, is there anything particularly that's holding you back, other than it being a big moral issue in society? I'd say that alone should not stop you from donating, if you feel it'd be helpful to that person and if they're going ahead regardless - but perhaps there are other things making you feel worried about donating?

Remember donations can usually be anonymous on these sorts of websites, so it's not like people would need to know that you donated :nah:
Reply 6
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Ah OK, wasn't sure if it was someone known personally to you or not. Since you're not religious, is there anything particularly that's holding you back, other than it being a big moral issue in society? I'd say that alone should not stop you from donating, if you feel it'd be helpful to that person and if they're going ahead regardless - but perhaps there are other things making you feel worried about donating?

Remember donations can usually be anonymous on these sorts of websites, so it's not like people would need to know that you donated :nah:

It's about feelings of taking a life, the sanctity I suppose of life, as well as society's views about it. Society's views shouldn't hold me back about my own opinions but I do think to some extent we take our morals from the society and time period we were raised in and judge our own culpability from what everyone around us does collectively.

That may sound weak-minded, but I just think that's how human nature works with issues like this. Once it's legal and done often in society, it will hardly be thought of as a moral dilemma, like abortion now. Then the free-ness of it becomes a new problem. But individuals feel more comfortable, maybe too comfortable, when laws and society change, I think.

And yes I know you can choose to be anonymous on the page, but I still know I've done it πŸ˜… Sorry to find that amusing, but I can't be anonymous to myself. Society's views about it affect how I feel, as well as it's just a really big and awful thing.
Original post by debussydream
It's about feelings of taking a life, the sanctity I suppose of life, as well as society's views about it. Society's views shouldn't hold me back about my own opinions but I do think to some extent we take our morals from the society and time period we were raised in and judge our own culpability from what everyone around us does collectively.

That may sound weak-minded, but I just think that's how human nature works with issues like this. Once it's legal and done often in society, it will hardly be thought of as a moral dilemma, like abortion now. Then the free-ness of it becomes a new problem. But individuals feel more comfortable, maybe too comfortable, when laws and society change, I think.

And yes I know you can choose to be anonymous on the page, but I still know I've done it πŸ˜… Sorry to find that amusing, but I can't be anonymous to myself. Society's views about it affect how I feel, as well as it's just a really big and awful thing.

Not weak-minded, it's totally understandable. Since you seem a bit hesitant and have described it as a "big and awful thing", perhaps it would be better for your own peace of mind not to give?
Original post by debussydream
Thank you so much for your reply and your thoughts. I am not at all religious and don't believe in god or an afterlife but I do admire people's beliefs in many cases and I can see how it adds to their lives and makes them kinder and more able to forgive.

I don't know the person at all, I just read about their story online. They are in pain constantly and cannot even listen to music or have people too close to them, even the light is painful. There is more to it also, but I don't want to say too much as it's hard to hear about.

Whether I donate or not, her plans will still go ahead. My donation is just to make it all a bit easier on her and her family and for her to reach her target amount sooner. But still, I would have had a hand in the biggest kind of moral issue...Anyway thanks again for your reply

Honestly if it's not someone you know personally - I think the overriding consideration here needs to be "am I sure this money is going to be used for what I donate it for?".

Unfortunately, it is very common for people on the internet to set up these crowdfunding drives for money, and often invest a lot of time and effort with others to craft an elaborate hoax to scam people out of money. They often unfortunately will take advantage of people's good natures to use very emotive situations (e.g. cancer diagnoses, end of life care, significant disabilities or life changing injuries) to do this.

I personally would never donate to anyone's gofundme who I don't know personally if it doesn't have a concrete deliverable that I will personally receive (as if there is, usually the funding platform has some level of guarantee on your money if they do not deliver that). It's just too easy otherwise to see the money evaporate. Of course, that is just me.
(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 9
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Not weak-minded, it's totally understandable. Since you seem a bit hesitant and have described it as a "big and awful thing", perhaps it would be better for your own peace of mind not to give?

I will think about it further and your replies have helped me to see what's troubling me about it, thank you.
Reply 10
Original post by artful_lounger
Honestly if it's not someone you know personally - I think the overriding consideration here needs to be "am I sure this money is going to be used for what I donate it for?".

Unfortunately, it is very common for people on the internet to set up these crowdfunding drives for money, and often invest a lot of time and effort with others to craft an elaborate hoax to scam people out of money. They often unfortunately will take advantage of people's good natures to use very emotive situations (e.g. cancer diagnoses, end of life care, significant disabilities or life changing injuries) to do this.

I personally would never donate to anyone's gofundme who I don't know personally if it doesn't have a concrete deliverable that I will personally receive (as if there is, usually the funding platform has some level of guarantee on your money if they do not deliver that). It's just too easy otherwise to see the money evaporate. Of course, that is just me.

I would be donating towards the end of life treatment and the travel costs for her and her family to get there. If there is money left over which goes towards her children's studying or parent's care etc I'm quite happy with that, as I just want to support all of them and I think that the more money these kinds of causes raise the more evidence it is to our government that we should be changing the laws here to make assisted ending of life legal.

I read about it on an online news site and it doesn't look in any way like a scam to me, but I know there are people out there who would do that kind of thing. Anyway I will only be donating a small amount of money. Thanks for your reply.

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