I would appreciate if anyone could take the time to read and offer some advice

Etoile2004

I feel so overwhelmed and stressed, I shouldn't have blindly trusted people that I struggled to have a conversation with and even saw how they were messing around and not taking it seriously until now. I have only gone and messed up my own future. I have an assignment due on the 8th Jan and the facilities close on the 22nd of December and the module leader isn't reading emails till the 8th Jan

We've had time but I struggled to manage it with other assignments. I can't help but feel like a failure. While I was working on the script I did say for someone to email the module leader to get permission to use the facility we needed but it's my own fault for not following up on that. They didn't like what I wrote so they changed that instead of doing what I asked. I struggled a lot so I just wanted someone else to help and they didn't.

one person hasn't even turned up to our 'meetings' and didn't even give a reason
I say 'meetings' but one guy there wasn't even doing anything and kept leaving to go get food
i don't say anything cause not to sound sad but i just wanted to be liked, i was bullied a lot in the past so i try my best to avoid confrontation or displeasing others.

Two of our members are going on holiday over christmas so they won't be here to help.
University hasn't been going well socially either, I'm so upset. Sorry I dont have anyone to speak to, I just wanted to let this out.

Reply 1

londonmyst

19

Are you able to contact your uni personal tutor asking for some advice or practical support?

Reply 2

Etoile2004

OP

6

Original post by londonmyst

Are you able to contact your uni personal tutor asking for some advice or practical support?

their advice is to email the module leader who isn't looking at emails until the 8th jan, so unhelpful

(edited 4 months ago)

Reply 3

londonmyst

19

Original post by Etoile2004

their advice is to email the module leader who isn't looking at emails until the 8th jan, so unhelpful

Best to make an appointment to see your personal tutor before 22nd Dec.
Show them copies of all the messages that you have sent to the supervisor who is known to be unavailable to respond to all messages until 8 Jan and the two students who are away over the christmas & new year break.

After the meeting highlight these facts over an email so that you have written proof that your personal tutor was aware of all the events.
Then do the best that you can with the assignment and ensure that you stay within the wordcount.
Good luck!

Original post by Etoile2004

I feel so overwhelmed and stressed, I shouldn't have blindly trusted people that I struggled to have a conversation with and even saw how they were messing around and not taking it seriously until now. I have only gone and messed up my own future. I have an assignment due on the 8th Jan and the facilities close on the 22nd of December and the module leader isn't reading emails till the 8th Jan

We've had time but I struggled to manage it with other assignments. I can't help but feel like a failure. While I was working on the script I did say for someone to email the module leader to get permission to use the facility we needed but it's my own fault for not following up on that. They didn't like what I wrote so they changed that instead of doing what I asked. I struggled a lot so I just wanted someone else to help and they didn't.

one person hasn't even turned up to our 'meetings' and didn't even give a reason
I say 'meetings' but one guy there wasn't even doing anything and kept leaving to go get food
i don't say anything cause not to sound sad but i just wanted to be liked, i was bullied a lot in the past so i try my best to avoid confrontation or displeasing others.

Two of our members are going on holiday over christmas so they won't be here to help.
University hasn't been going well socially either, I'm so upset. Sorry I dont have anyone to speak to, I just wanted to let this out.

Hi there

Sorry to hear about your situation. It is normal for University to be overwhelming and stressful at times, but I think there is a still a lot of time to get advice or improve on your assignments.

If it is not possible to get in touch with your module leader at the moment, perhaps you could do any preparation or work that does not require the facilities for now. I believe many Universities offer deadline extensions which you can apply for. I would recommend doing this for this coursework, so you are able to access the facilities.

It would be helpful (echoing the advice above) to send proof of any communications between your group or other evidences that proof your circumstances to the module support team. This may help them in understanding your situation. I hope this helps.

It is normal at early stages of Uni to feel that it has not been going well socially. I felt the same way when I joined too. I am sorry to hear that you got bullied in the past, and the feeling to avoid confrontation is normal. (Though I would not recommend going out of your way to please some people, or forcefully hang around with people who you do not share the same interests as).

Instead, I would recommend checking out different societies, I am certain that there will be others with similar interests and personalities as you that you will feel more comfortable hanging around with. If you struggle with finding things to talk about, you could speak to those in the same course or class as you. Usually, being in the same class means you have a lot in common to discuss, and it could help you form a good friendship.

I know that University can be overwhelming and stressful at times, and you should know that there is always support available, and that you are not alone. I would recommend speaking to the wellbeing and support team in University if you are struggling with anything (they may have extra resources or be able to point you in the right direction.) In terms of making friends, you can also try out any of the student union hosted events~ perhaps group wellbeing sessions, walking buddies, or coffee chats.

Good luck.
Chloe
University of Kent student rep

Reply 5

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

Original post by Etoile2004

I feel so overwhelmed and stressed, I shouldn't have blindly trusted people that I struggled to have a conversation with and even saw how they were messing around and not taking it seriously until now. I have only gone and messed up my own future. I have an assignment due on the 8th Jan and the facilities close on the 22nd of December and the module leader isn't reading emails till the 8th Jan

We've had time but I struggled to manage it with other assignments. I can't help but feel like a failure. While I was working on the script I did say for someone to email the module leader to get permission to use the facility we needed but it's my own fault for not following up on that. They didn't like what I wrote so they changed that instead of doing what I asked. I struggled a lot so I just wanted someone else to help and they didn't.

one person hasn't even turned up to our 'meetings' and didn't even give a reason
I say 'meetings' but one guy there wasn't even doing anything and kept leaving to go get food
i don't say anything cause not to sound sad but i just wanted to be liked, i was bullied a lot in the past so i try my best to avoid confrontation or displeasing others.

Two of our members are going on holiday over christmas so they won't be here to help.
University hasn't been going well socially either, I'm so upset. Sorry I dont have anyone to speak to, I just wanted to let this out.

@Etoile2004

Was there a team leader? Did everyone agree to them leading the group?

Communication is everything when it comes to group work, even when those conversations are awkward. It is important to be honest about working together in a way that doesn't upset each other e.g. being consulted before your words are changed/explaining why they want to reword emails etc..

It sounds like there's been a few people not pulling their weight and others pulling too much of their weight, which is a tough dynamic, so try not to be too hard on yourself!

It's okay to feel frustrated and annoyed. Group work is really tough (!) and normally it's only by going through some negative experiences that you learn, that being said when you work with people you don't know very well, it's difficult to know what will happen and how things will be – (you can't always plan in advance!)

What's done is done now. The only thing you can do is try and do what you can over the holidays and to be ready for 8th January but do make sure you get some down time over the holidays to relax and to de-stress. Hopefully you can spend some time with people who know you well and who will just be a good support to you.

There is lots of different things you can take away from the past few weeks (it's great that you are reflecting) so do take time to think about changes you want to make for the New Year, but also remember that university is all about learning people skills, study skills, financial skills etc....and it takes time to figure it all out.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 6

BrainDrain

18

Original post by Etoile2004

I feel so overwhelmed and stressed, I shouldn't have blindly trusted people that I struggled to have a conversation with and even saw how they were messing around and not taking it seriously until now. I have only gone and messed up my own future. I have an assignment due on the 8th Jan and the facilities close on the 22nd of December and the module leader isn't reading emails till the 8th Jan

We've had time but I struggled to manage it with other assignments. I can't help but feel like a failure. While I was working on the script I did say for someone to email the module leader to get permission to use the facility we needed but it's my own fault for not following up on that. They didn't like what I wrote so they changed that instead of doing what I asked. I struggled a lot so I just wanted someone else to help and they didn't.

one person hasn't even turned up to our 'meetings' and didn't even give a reason
I say 'meetings' but one guy there wasn't even doing anything and kept leaving to go get food
i don't say anything cause not to sound sad but i just wanted to be liked, i was bullied a lot in the past so i try my best to avoid confrontation or displeasing others.

Two of our members are going on holiday over christmas so they won't be here to help.
University hasn't been going well socially either, I'm so upset. Sorry I dont have anyone to speak to, I just wanted to let this out.

I'm sorry you find yourself in such a sad worrying situation
From what you have written it is the very last thing you would have wished for, but have found yourself here due to being let down by teammates and the time of year when many have other commitments.
What to do? the other contributors on here have given you really good advice which I would agree with, send emails and keep copies for proof, do your best to show you are not trying to get out of your assignment and hand it in with a copy of what you have posted here.
What you have posted shows the anguish this has caused, and helped make Christmas miserable for you, but also how you have reached out to others for advice and have been at your wits end to find a solution.

No one can expect you to do more than your best, and you can say hand on heart you have ...... don't let this spoil Christmas and I am sure it will work out for you
Best wishes and fingers crossed.

I would appreciate if anyone could take the time to read and offer some advice

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