I've let my best friend down

Hi everyone.

Thanks for reading.

One of my best friends (Let's call her X) is going through an exceptionally difficult breakup with her boyfriend of 8 years. They have a house together, shared finances, and even a pet cat. X is now having to move back into her parents' house and completely rebuild the life she had been living.

Our friendship group is close (there are 5 of us), and we were told about this a few weeks ago, upon which we offered our immediate support and thoughts. I've checked in with my friend a little since then.

Yesterday, I received a message from another person in our friendship group (Y) saying that X is really upset by the level of support I have been showing since the breakup and that while it is clear that I love X very much, my actions (or lack thereof) aren't reflecting that. Y asked me to really think about how I could better support X, and that Ishe is disappointed in me.

Honestly, I'm utterly mortified and appalled at my inaction. I agree with everything being said to me, and looking back at my messages, the lack of effort I have put into making sure X is okay is quite frankly disgraceful on my part. I don't think I appreciated the gravity of what she is having to go through: literally seeing her future shatter before her. The fact that it has taken a mutual friend speaking to me to realise my impact is shocking in itself, and I am so angry with myself for not having seen what should have been blatantly obvious to anyone with a shred of common sense and decency. In short, I know I have let my friend down at the worst point in her life, and I've never felt more guilty.

I have sent X a heartfelt and honest apology, with a promise to do A LOT better from now on. I have also had a very harsh talk with myself about how short-sighted I have been. X has since replied and said that while the lack of presence hurt, she appreciates the message and can tell how sorry I am. Y has also thanked me for taking on board the advice.

Apart from making sure I check in and am available for when she needs me, I'm not really sure what else I can do. I'm being careful not to pester X in an attempt to make myself feel better, but I am keen to make sure I do much better from this point.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or can anyone offer any advice, guidance or opinions (be as honest as you like)? I feel absolutely awful - and deservedly so, but really want to learn from the situation.

Thanks in advance and sorry for the length.

Apart from making sure I check in and am available for when she needs me, I'm not really sure what else I can do. I'm being careful not to pester X in an attempt to make myself feel better, but I am keen to make sure I do much better from this point.